Help in next reincarnation of the purest form of true evil known to humankind: Cher, the Britney Spears of the last 35 years.
Meanwhile, back in rural Dorset, England, large crop circles have been discovered to have been made by…
[sub]what, I can’t be the first to mention crop circles, can I? [/sub]
…aliens posing as bored, unemployed farm-workers with lots of two-by-fours and even more time on their hands. They were attempting to “cover their tracks” because a few people had actually discovered that…
Ron Jeremy was actually responsible for 96% of all alien anal probes reported to ufologists. This could only lead to…
…mass hysteria as the Ron-Jeremy-loving-Communists rioted against the alien farmers, claiming that JFK Jr. was actually the person who rolled the rock away from Jesus’s tomb in an attempt to…
…fatally confound the development of humanity, channelling it into Approved Areas, and boosting the Gullibility Rating to 11. However, this worked too well, and the Greys…
Quickly developed a new advertising campaign, designed to lead our soft and lazy minds into…
…accepting the real Al Gore - the one with the beard - as the next…
…release (AlGore 4.1) from the laboratory of Bill Gates where the mole men are beginning the next phase of…
…the next phase of the Agulear/Speers dominastion of teen boys and simple-minded mid-life-crisis men. The plan involves…
…spelling correctly, which is aided by not trying to type will on the phone with Dell tech support. Tech supports role in this plan is…
…To cause as much confusion, false information, and frustration as possible. This, of course, makes Tech Support the natural sworn enemy of the SDMB, whose members…
…eschew obfiscation…
…and engineer the abduction of Chronos, who is not going back to college, but is really…
…withdrawing from society in order to work on the master plan of all evil scientists: To take over the world!
Meanwhile, back in the subterranean levels of the Pentagon…
… the vending machine is out of Fresca. This so enrages the Joint Chiefs of the Staff that they order an immediate military strike against…
…BARNEY, who ironicly is an aged and well-disguised Elvis. The strike ordered by the JCS finally puts to rest one long-standing rumor, however, radioactive fallout from the strike spawns a mutant strain of super-intelligent, rabid monkeys who…
control the animatronic George W. Bush, which causes insipent deja vu, while unleashing …
droves of savage flesh-eating oranges that implant mind control chips which…
…get people addicted to the internet. Once people are so preoccupied with the internet, the conspiracy is free to…
create new flavors of sodas like pepsi twist and code red mountain dew, the spike them with mind altering drugs just for the fun of it, this will create a market for…