Here are some recently “deleted unread” emails:
Karlie Lloyd - Wanna get a drink?
Cody Conklin - Hey Eunny
Prudence H. Moss - Been busy lately?
Jyoti Garcia - Fwd: the newest updates
Giacinta Wilson - How was it lately?
Marva Herbert - Hello there! Eunoia
Izabel West - Do you need some?
Observations:
[list=1]
[li]The people who write these may be running out of fake names[/li][li]Despite the familiarity, these people are usually strangers[/li][li]It’s been my sad experience that these emails are never from hot ex-college girlfriends[/li][li]I do not need the products they’re advertising. (Well, maybe once, but I was under a lot of pressure at work…:()[/li][/list=1]
Rather than ask for sexy names, as seems to be a recurring FAQ on message boards including this one, shall we try to come up with new combinations that would be impossible to leave unread?
Here are mine:
The Classic:
Tricia Boddington - Teach me to drive my new Ferrari
Spam seems to follow the same format for me, a playful female with a vaguely waspish name has a request. I’m however very curious to know if the spam that female Dopers are receiving has any other discernable patterns.
The Blown Whisper (Ostensibly Accidentally Sent)
Todd “Burnout” Koharski - Did I leave my underwear on your roof?
This type of spam appeals to our voyeuristic side, you know it doesn’t concern you, but could possibly contain stories of people who lead far more “interesting” lives.
The Freebie
Gates Muldoon - Free Cricket Bat
Sure, you won’t open the Nigerian ones offering a cut of $800 million, or those for 10 cents off a can of cat food, but what about those in between? The next wave in Super Spam© is clearly the demarcation of the “plausibility/worth-the-effort” line. (Plus, for absolutely no reason, I’ve always wanted a cricket bat.)
I actually hate spam and spammers, but I can’t help thinking we could do a far superior job. Please join me in this misguided quest to plumb the human psyche.
All material proceeds from this venture will be donated to the SDMB Server Trust.
