I loved this thread so much I added everyone who posted to my Buddy List ™!
poof:eek:
Drop by any time. I’m in the trailer park behind Wal-Mart.
Well Cranky you.ve got a dog. Blame him.
Is this thread replete with band names, or what?
(Anyone besides me now seeing Tuckerfan’s sig in a new light?)
Just to add… I think Olestra might be the culprit here. I’m pretty sure that on Friday I cut my first synthetic fart.
I think some people need butt plugs…or would they become deadly anal launched projectiles?
band name?
Normally I would, but these have such a distinct onion-ring bouquet about them, it’s a dead giveaway what they are the result of. I think I’d have a hard time convincing my husband that the basset hound drove himself to Burger King, made himself understood at the drive through, and used his massive paws to open the wallet to fork over the $$. I mean, the basset doesn’t get an allowance or anything.
My cat…now there is an animal wily enough to pull all that off. The dog, no.
These are the exact “interests of science” about which we were warned in all those Atomic Monster movies of the '50’s. I, too, hit the BK after reading this thread, on Friday. Let the historians argue over whether my voice wavered a bit when I asked for onion rings instead of fries. I got the zesty sauce, too. I imagined doughboys stumbling out of mustard-gassed trenches, screaming, “Mmmm…zesty.”
Farts? Yes. I knew what I was getting into. But, it’s worth adding, since this seems to be previously undocumented, my pee smelled like onion rings. The odor was as unmistakable as it was, um, robust. Perhaps this is an effect of onion consumption in general, but if it is, I’ve certainly never noticed it before. Further study is probably called for. Was there some horrible reaction in my gut with the zesty sauce? Should investigations be made as to the possible catalytic effect of industrial quantities of beer? (BK onion rings and beer on the same night. I love my GI tract almost as much as Sherman loved Atlanta.)
Onions are pretty toxic in general. Am I the only person who has ever had onion soup leave looking and smelling exactly as it did entering?
I noticed that several people reported that their farts and pee actually retain the smell of onions. I wonder if the fragrances and flavorings BK adds to their foods are indigestible and passed into the wastes? Soylent Brown?!
<deeply offended>
Geez! I don’t get to the SDMB for a coupla weeks and this is what I come back to! I was going to recommend a great book I’d read but apparently it’s nowhere near scatalogical enough for this crowd.
How is it this most mundane of topics brings out such eloquence? I guess it only demonstrates the value of the advice to write about what you know about.
“Nether reasons” indeed!
</deeply offended>
Well, if that’s true then I want some Glade Snack Cakes to nibble on. Maybe first thing in the morning I can take a lemon scented dump. For lunch I’ll launch an Irish Mist sea pickle. Then for supper, a powder fresh poot.
Gee Mary, your ass smells just like a bunch of ferns.
I know Cranky. She’s been to my house. I’ve been to hers. She is a charming, lovely, delightful lady, and I’m glad to call her a friend. I love reading her posts, because they are always, always good.
But I’ll be damned if this isn’t the funniest thing I’ve read in a long, long time. Laughed so hard I cried, I swear to Goddess.
I don’t have that problem with the BK onion rings, but I am lactose intolerant. I know all about lethal gases. I’ve even had to give up most ice creams in the interest of saving my marriage and maintaining my friendships.
Hey Cranky, how’s about you, me, & Shirley Ujest meet for lunch at Burger King some afternoon? You two can have onion rings, and I’ll have a nice big chocolate shake. By the end of the day, we should have the entire state to ourselves. 
Um…um…um…this word… it obviously means something waaaaay different for me- could you clarify, screech? Thanks!
Back when I was involved in theater, we would frequently end an evening (mis)spent rehearsing and building sets with a 1:00 AM bowl of Navy Bean soup at the local greasy spoon. The usual farewell (spoken on the way out the door):
The sheets will fluff tonight!
To 'splain…
There’s an old saying: “Women don’t fart, they fluff.” Dunno where it came from, but it’s one I’ve heard for many-odd (and some very odd) years, and seen on bumperstickers, to boot; basically meaning “women are more genteel about bodily functions” or so.
Well, in explaining this to (former)Roommate one day after a particularly noxious and violent (but wholly accidental) ‘outburst’, (f)R stated that 'if that was a ‘fluff’, you’d better make sure there was no ‘lint’" (essentially, ‘check yer drawers fer skidmarks’).
Yup, and I am wholly aware of the other meaning. This definition fits in much better with the topic at hand.
Ah! Thank you. I hadn’t heard that one; It All Makes Sense Now.
You realize of course, that there are precious few places in the world where such a joke makes sense. Thank the heavens for Dopers, who can mix scatology with astrophysics and come out unscathed.
[sub]now, on to the jokes about Uranus[/sub]
Heh. I like this line.
I once had a girlfriend who loved to fart
We’d be under the covers watching TV and she’d get a beatific smile on her face like she just saw God…the next thing I would know she’d throw the blanket over my head so I got to smell the um exhaust…ewww
I like to say we didn’t break up…I just lit one of her farts and she still hasn’t landed yet