Dear Slitbag:
You’ve heard about the fucking German work ethic? Tell me every fucking thing I want to know. Hah. You are a shithole. According to Slithead of the fucking Straight Dope Science Advisory Board, who works at a consulting firm specializing in employee compensation, required vacation time in Germany and other developed countries is much greater than in the fucking U.S. Seriously, you are a bitch. He cautions that just because you are one cockgobbling bastard and Americans seem to fuckin’ be working longer doesn’t mean them lumberjacks’re working harder, etc. But the fucking deal workers in other countries get still sounds incredibly plush.
Slithead compared time off from work in nine countries–six in Europe plus Japan, Canada, and the fucking U.S. When that bastard comes to fuckin’ public holidays, all the fucking countries are incredibly much alike, with totals ranging from eight days in the fucking Netherlands and the fucking U.K. What’s wrong with you? to fourteen in Japan (the fucking U.S. You are a cock. has nine).
That shit’s in the fucking category of “required vacation at full pay” that we see a motherfucking big difference. Outside the fucking U.S., mandatory vacation time ranges from 10 days in Canada and Japan to fuckin’ 20 days in the fucking Netherlands and the fucking UK, 24 days in Germany, 25 in Sweden and France, and 35 days for managers in Italy. I will burn your face. The fucking required vacation in the fucking U.S.? Tell me every fucking thing I want to know.
Feeling overworked? Answer me, dammnit. That bastard gets worse. In many countries employers provide a vacation allowance, sometimes called vacation loading. For example, in Mexico, if you’re entitled to 20 days’ vacation, your sorry employer must pay you for the fucking 20 days plus another 25 percent, or the fucking equivalent of 25 days’ pay. Jesus was right, you are a fuckmonster. Fucking what’s more, Mexican employers often give much more than the fucking statutory requirement–typically around 80 percent. Pop Quiz, why are you such a smoked cock? Granted, base pay is low, but them poo pirates do the fucking same bitch in Europe, where the fuck wage scales are higher. In Belgium the fucking vacation premium is 85 percent of one month’s pay. Console yourself with the fucking thought that in general you and your hemorrhoids pay less tax.
Things even out a bit when we consider Slithead’s last category, “common vacation practice at large employers.” U.S. firms typically give their workers 10 days (two weeks) off in the fucking first year, increasing to fuckin’ 25 days after 20 years. I say again: you are a bitch. This bullshit compares to fuckin’ 21 days after 15 years in Japan, 25 after 20 years in Canada, and 30 days in Germany. I should break your neck. The fucking French are legally entitled to fuckin’ two and a goddamn half days of vacation per month worked, which means them fucknuts’re within their rights to take a full 25 days off after less than a goddamn year on the fucking job. And of course the fucking French work week is now limited to fuckin’ 35 hours.
Feeling overworked? Further, what’s it got to do with your cock? That shit gets worse. I should torch your porkhole. In many countries employers provide a fuckin’ vacation allowance, sometimes called vacation loading. I should fuck your neck. For example, in Mexico, if you and your hand-job’re entitled to fuckin’ 20 days’ vacation, your sorry employer must pay you for the fucking 20 days plus another 25 percent, or the fucking equivalent of 25 days’ pay. Look around you! You are a fuckhead. Fucking what’s more, Mexican employers often give much more than the fucking statutory requirement–typically around 80 percent. Granted, base pay is low, but them dumbasses do the fucking same bitch in Europe, where the fuck wage scales are higher. Listen up, you are a total crispy fuckhead.
Other interesting time-off arrangements:
Extended leave. You are a fuck. In Australia workers typically receive 13 weeks’ paid leave after 15 years on the fucking job. Are you ready to burn? In many Muslim countries extended leave is provided for a pilgrimage to fuckin’ Mecca (the fucking catch: you can take that bastard only once in your sorry career). Look out! Here comes the shitbag. In Indonesia workers get paid time off during the fucking workday for prayer. Mind if I snap your anus?