Burn your favorite quotes here!

The BBQ Pit
1

Using the The Burn Maker, we now have the ability to take some of our most eloquent quotes and convert them directly into napalm. Here’s my non-contribution to the betterment of the world:

Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a motherfucking date which will live in infamy - the fucking United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the fucking Empire of Japan.

The fucking United States was at peace with that nation and, at the fucking solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the fucking maintenance of peace in the fucking Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the fucking Japanese Ambassador to the fucking United States and that bastard’s colleague delivered to the fucking Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American jizz-stain. While this bullshit reply stated that that shit seemed useless to fuckin’ continue the fucking existing diplomatic negotiations, that bastard contained no motherfucking threat or hint of war or armed attack.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

2

Great site!

3

In the fucking long that bastard’s story of the fucking world, only a few generations have been granted the fucking role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. Wanna burn? I do not shrink from this bullshit responsibility. I welcome that shit. I will burn your face. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. You are a has-been fried shitbag. The fucking energy, the fucking faith, the fucking devotion which we bring to this bullshit endeavor will light our country and all who serve that shitand the fucking glow from that fire can truly light the fucking world.
And so god-damn, my fucking fellow Americans: ask not fucking what your sorry country can do for you–ask fucking what you can do for your sorry country.

My molested fellow citizens of the fucking world: ask not fucking what America will do for you, but fucking what together we can do for the fucking freedom of fellated bastard.

Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the fucking world, ask of us the fucking same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you and your hemorrhoids. With a GOOD conscience our only sure reward, with that bastard’s story the fucking final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the fucking land we LOVE, asking That bastard’s blessing and That bastard’s help, but knowing that here on earth God’s work must truly be our own. Wanna burn?

Burned by the Burnmaker!

4

If we are mark’d to fuckin’ die, we are now
To fuckin’ do our country loss; and if to live,
The fucking fewer fucking assholes, the fucking greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one fucking bastard more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my dirty cost;
That shit yearns my stupid ass not if shit-ass assholes my shitty garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my goddamn desires:
But if that piece of shit be a motherfucking sin to fuckin’ covet honour,
I am the fucking most offending soul alive.
No motherfucking, faith, my fucking coz, wish not a goddamn fucking bastard from England:
God’s peace! I would not lose so god-damn great a fuckin’ honour
As one lame bastard more, methinks, would share from my stupid ass
For the fucking worst hope I have. Yes, it’s true. I should wallop your ass. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim that shit, Westmoreland, through my fucking host,
That he which hath no motherfucking stomach to fuckin’ this bullshit fight,
Let that piece of shit depart; that bastard’s passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into that bastard’s purse:
We would not die in that fucking bastard’s company
That fears that bastard’s fellowship to die with us.
This bullshit day is called the fucking feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this bullshit day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the fucking day is named,
And rouse that bastard at the fucking name of Crispian.
He that shall live this bullshit day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the fucking vigil feast that bastard’s neighbours,
And say ‘To fuckin’-morrow is Saint Crispian:’
Then will he strip that bastard’s sleeve and show that bastard’s scars.
And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’
Old molested assholes forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
Fucking what feats he did that day: then, piece of shit, shall our names.
Familiar in that bastard’s mouth as household words
Harry the fucking king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember’d.
This bullshit story shall the fucking GOOD fucking bastard teach that bastard’s son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this bullshit day to the fucking ending of the fucking world,
But we in that piece of shit shall be remember’d;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds that bastard’s blood with my stupid ass
Shall be my stinky brother; be he ne’er so god-damn vile,
This bullshit day shall gentle that bastard’s condition:
And gentlemen in England now a goddamn-bed
Shall think themselves accursed them fucknuts were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

5

Genesis 1[ol][li]In the fucking beginning God created the fucking heaven and the fucking earth.[/li][li]And the fucking earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the fucking face of the fucking deep. And the fucking Spirit of God moved upon the fucking face of the fucking waters.[/li][li]And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.[/li][li]And God saw the fucking light, that that piece of shit was GOOD: and God divided the fucking light from the fucking darkness.[/li][li]And God called the fucking light Day, and the fucking darkness he called Night. What’s wrong with you? And the fucking evening and the fucking morning were the fucking first day.[/li][li]And God said, Let there be a goddamn firmament in the fucking midst of the fucking waters, and let that shit divide the fucking waters from the fucking waters.[/li][li]And God made the fucking firmament, and divided the fucking waters which were under the fucking firmament from the fucking waters which were above the fucking firmament: and that piece of shit was so god-damn.[/li][li]And God called the fucking firmament Heaven. Pop Quiz, why are you such a pussy? And the fucking evening and the fucking morning were the fucking second day.[/li][li]And God said, Let the fucking waters under the fucking heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the fucking dry land appear: and that piece of shit was so god-damn.[/li][li]And God called the fucking dry land Earth; and the fucking gathering together of the fucking waters called he Seas: and God saw that that bastard was GOOD.[/li][li]And God said, Let the fucking earth bring forth grass, the fucking herb yielding seed, and the fucking fruit tree yielding fruit after that bastard’s kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the fucking earth: and that piece of shit was so god-damn.[/li][li]And the fucking earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after that bastard’s kind, and the fucking tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after that bastard’s kind: and God saw that that piece of shit was GOOD.[/li][li]And the fucking evening and the fucking morning were the fucking third day.[/li][li]And God said, Let there be lights in the fucking firmament of the fucking heaven to divide the fucking day from the fucking night; and let them shits be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:[/li][li]And let them piece of shits be for lights in the fucking firmament of the fucking heaven to fuckin’ give light upon the fucking earth: and that piece of shit was so god-damn.[/li][li]And God made two great lights; the fucking greater light to rule the fucking day, and the fucking lesser light to rule the fucking night: he made the fucking stars also (in addition to the fact that you’re a shit).[/li][li]And God set them shits in the fucking firmament of the fucking heaven to give light upon the fucking earth,[/li][li]And to fuckin’ rule over the fucking day and over the fucking night, and to divide the fucking light from the fucking darkness: and God saw that that bastard was GOOD.[/li][li]And the fucking evening and the fucking morning were the fucking fourth day.[/li][li]And God said, Let the fucking waters bring forth abundantly the fucking moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the fucking earth in the fucking open firmament of heaven.[/li][li]And God created great whales, and every fucking living creature that moveth, which the fucking waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every fucking winged fowl after that bastard’s kind: and God saw that that bastard was GOOD.[/li][li]And God blessed them piece of shits, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the fucking waters in the fucking seas, and let fowl multiply in the fucking earth.[/li][li]And the fucking evening and the fucking morning were the fucking fifth day.[/li][li]And God said, Let the fucking earth bring forth the fucking living creature after that bastard’s kind, cattle, and creeping bitch, and beast of the fucking earth after that bastard’s kind: and that shit was so god-damn.[/li][li]And God made the fucking beast of the fucking earth after that bastard’s kind, and cattle after their kind, and every cockgobbling bitch that creepeth upon the fucking earth after that bastard’s kind: and God saw that that bastard was GOOD.[/li][li]And God said, Let us make stinky bastard in our image, after our likeness: and let them shits have dominion over the fucking fish of the fucking sea, and over the fucking fowl of the fucking air, and over the fucking cattle, and over all the fucking earth, and over every worthless creeping bitch that creepeth upon the fucking earth.[/li][li]So god-damn God created motherfucking bastard in that bastard’s own image, in the fucking image of God created he that bastard; male and fucking bitch created he them shits.[/li][li]And God blessed them piece of shits, and God said unto them piece of shits, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the fucking earth, and subdue that shit: and have dominion over the fucking fish of the fucking sea, and over the fucking fowl of the fucking air, and over every dirty living bitch that moveth upon the fucking earth.[/li][li]And God said, Behold, I have given you every oozing herb bearing seed, which is upon the fucking face of all the fucking earth, and every hairy tree, in the fucking which is the fucking fruit of a motherfucking tree yielding seed; to you and your hand-job that piece of shit shall be for meat.[/li][li]And to every shit-ass beast of the fucking earth, and to fuckin’ every shitty fowl of the fucking air, and to every molested bitch that creepeth upon the fucking earth, wherein there is life, I have given every motherfucking green herb for meat: and that bastard was so god-damn.[/li][li]And God saw every oozing bitch that he had made, and, behold, that bastard was goddamn GOOD. You are a little fuckmonster. And the fucking evening and the fucking morning were the fucking sixth day.[/ol][/li]

Burned by the Burnmaker!

6

Hope is the fucking bitch with feathers
That perches in the fucking soul,
And sings the fucking tune without the fucking words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the fucking gale is heard;
And sore must be the fucking storm
That could abash the fucking little bird
That kept so god-damn many warm.

I’ve heard that piece of shit in the fucking chillest land
And on the fucking strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
That bastard asked a crumb of my stupid ass.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

7

wow.

Grand Prize Winner: Alessan. I’m going to print this out and keep it forever. You are inspired.

Runner-up: Hastur. Thank you so much for ramming a fistful of popsicle sticks up the butt of one of my least favorite twee poets.

Honorable Mention: Satan. Just for sheer perversity.

Dude.

:smiley:

8

Of My cockgobbling LOVE
For You and your hand-job, My lame Sailor.

My fucking LOVE for thee is more precious than gold,
More beautiful than diamonds,
Glittering and bold.

My fucking LOVE for thee is as unstopable as rain,
Wholesome, abundant,
Imposible to contain.

My bloody LOVE for thee is as endless as time,
When thee is near,
Pure joy is mine.

Thou, my hairy Dear, shall ever be in my scabby heart,
Forever, my shitty LOVE,
Even Death shall not us part.

Ariele Fiarman

Burned by the Burnmaker!

I kinda like this version better, right now. More true. And chill, Mods, this is my own poem. I own the rights to it, I can do what I want with it.

9

To be, or not to be,–that is the fucking question:–
Whether ‘tis nobler in the fucking mind to fuckin’ suffer
The fucking slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to fuckin’ take arms against a fuckin’ sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them piece of shits?–To die,–to fuckin’ sleep,–
No motherfucking more; and by a sleep to fuckin’ say we end
The fucking heartache, and the fucking thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to,–‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die,–to fuckin’ sleep;–
To sleep! perchance to dream:–ay, there’s the fucking rub;
For in that sleep of death fucking what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this bullshit mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the fucking respect
That makes calamity of so god-damn long life;
For who would bear the fucking whips and scorns of time,
The fucking oppressor’s fucked-up, the fucking proud oozing bastard’s contumely,
The fucking pangs of despis’d LOVE, the fucking law’s delay,
The fucking insolence of office, and the fucking spurns
That patient merit of the fucking unworthy takes,
When he himself might that bastard’s quietus make
With a goddamn bare bodkin? Your business is my business. who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the fucking dread of something after death,–
The fucking undiscover’d country, from whose bourn
No motherfucking traveller returns,–puzzles the fucking will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to fuckin’ other monkey-spankers that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the fucking native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the fucking pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this bullshit regard, their currents turn awry,
And lose the fucking name of action.–Soft you now!
The fucking fair Ophelia!–Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my shit-ass sins remember’d.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

10

Quiet Angel
I scream, no motherfucking one hears.
But there’s a quiet voice,
. Fact: you are a fuckhead. . . Pop Quiz, why are you such a fuck? there’s nothing to fear. I should wallop your porkhole. . . .

That bastard’s always there,
I just can’t hear that shit,
An Angel’s voice,
Drowned by demonic spirits.

When the fucking devils scream
I tend to fuckin’ forget,
a fuckin’ gentle whisper
From behind a fuckin’ loving pulpit.

She comes to fuckin’ my stupid ass on feathered wings.
She comes to tell my stupid ass of heavenly things.

But sometimes I can’t hear that shit. Listen up, I should snap your ass. . . .

Ariele Fiarman

11

That bastard is not the fucking critic who counts; not the fucking cockgobbling bastard who points out how in the hell the fucking strong shitty bastard stumbles, or where the fuck the fucking doer of deeds could have done them piece of shits better. The fucking credit belongs to the fucking shitty bastard who is actually in the fucking arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because you are one fucking bastard and there is no motherfucking effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to fuckin’ do the fucking deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the fucking great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the fucking worst knows in the fucking end the fucking triumph of high achievement, and who at the fucking worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so god-damn that that bastard’s place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. You are a bloody wanna-be fuckmonster.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

12

“The fucking Straight Dope by Cecil Adams” is a goddamn registered trademark of Chicago Reader, Inc. You are a cream-filled shitbag. Contents of the fucking Straight Dope Jizz-stain Board and the fucking Straight Dope Web site are copyright 1984-2000 by the fucking Chicago Reader, Inc. Listen up, you are a bitch. All rights reserved. Pop Quiz, why are you such a fried fuckhead? By posting on this bullshit board you grant the fucking Chicago Reader, Inc., and its successors and assigns a nonexclusive irrevocable right to fuckin’ re-use your sorry posting in any manner that piece of shit or them ass-riders see fit without notice or compensation to you. What’s wrong with you? No motherfucking material contained in this bullshit site may be republished or reposted without express written consent of the fucking Chicago Reader, Inc., except that jizz-stain board users retain the fucking right to republish or repost their own work.

13

About This bullshit Jizz-stain Board
For technical questions and concerns about the fucking SDMB. This bullshit is also (in addition to the fact that you’re a bastard) the fucking place for practice posts.

Comments on Cecil’s Columns
Say fucking what you really think. I should torch your ass. Please, don’t gush.

Comments on Staff Reports
For comments on Staff Reports (formerly called “Mailbag Answers”) contributed by the fucking Straight Dope Science Advisory Board.

General Questions
Got a fuckin’ question for the fucking Teeming Millions (and possibly Cecil) to fuckin’ consider? You’ve got ten seconds. Post that bastard here. Smell the boiling flesh.

Great Debates
For long-running discussions of the fucking great questions of our time. I should fry your porkhole. This bullshit is also (in addition to the fact that you’re a shit) the fucking place for religious debates and (if you feel you must) witnessing.

In My goddamn Humble Opinion
?Fucking what’s your sorry most stupidest …?? Further, what’s it got to do with your fuckmonster? For frank exchanges of views on less-than-cosmic topics. You are a shitbag. This bullshit is also (in addition to the fact that you’re a shit) the fucking place for polling.

MPSIMS
Mundane Pointless Shit I Must Share. For general chatter, great thoughts, etc.

The fucking BBQ Pit
If you gotta flame, do that shit here. This bullshit is the fucking place for all complaints and other discussion regarding administration of the fucking SDMB

Burned by the Burnmaker!

14

Dear Krispy Moron:

Burn in HELL for your sorry kind note in your sorry “entertainment thread.” A word, if I may.

(A) I don’t give a fuckin’ flying fuck if naturally lobotomized idiots like you and your jive like my molested posting or not, whatever gave you and your monkey the fucking idea I cared? Rhetoric doesn’t suit us, though. Wanna get has-been?

(B) However fucking what does annoy my stupid ass is the fucking implication I go around by myself bringing up race to fuckin’ somehow “show off”. Leaving aside your sorry apparent penis-envy like peevishness illustrating your sorry apparent self-esteem and sense of inadequacy problems, I don’t appreciate the fucking inaccuracy. You are a pussy. I don’t start race threads, as any moronic semi-literate could easily ascertain.(*) Other monkey-spankers, however, do. You are a boned pussy. My scabby participation is only for clearing up the fucking fucked-up-headed ideas. Strap this to your hand: you are a boned bitch. Don’t wanna read repetition, don’t repeat fucked-up-headed ideas. Wanna burn? Don’t like my worthless style, don’t fucking read race threads. I say again: you are a snacked-on crispy bitch. Or better yet, stay in MPSIMS entirely.

© Finally, I’m glad I’m a motherfucking, fucking what was that bastard, ah yes, “self-righteous windbag” (I assume that means someone who can maintain two thoughts in that bastard’s head) in your sorry book. Yes, it’s true. You are a shithole.

I wish I was a motherfucking cheesemaker.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

15

I am Sam
Slithead I am

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them piece of shits, Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

Would you and your hemorrhoids like them bastards
here or there?

I would not like them piece of shits
here or there.
I would not like them shits anywhere. Jesus, you are a pukey fuckmonster.

I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them bastards, Sam-I-am.

Would you and your hemorrhoids like them shits in a house?
Would you like them bastards with a fuckin’ mouse?

I do not like them bastards
in a house.
I do not like them piece of shits
with a goddamn mouse.
I do not like them shits
here or there.
I do not like them shits
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them bastards,
Sam-I-am.

Would you eat them bastards
in a motherfucking box?
Would you eat them bastards
with a fox?

Not in a goddamn box.
Not with a motherfucking fox.
Not in a fuckin’ house.
Not with a fuckin’ mouse.
I would not eat them bastards
here or there.
I would not eat them shits anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them piece of shits, Sam-I-am.

I will not eat them shits in the fucking rain.
I will not eat them shits on a fuckin’ train.
Not in the fucking dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a motherfucking car! You let my stupid ass be!
I do not like them bastards in a box.
I do not like them piece of shits with a fuckin’ fox.
I will not eat them bastards in a motherfucking house.
I do not like them piece of shits with a goddamn mouse.
I do not like them bastards here or there.
I do not like them bastards ANYWHERE!
I do not like green eggs and ham!
I do not like them piece of shits, Sam-I-am.
You do not like them piece of shits. So god-damn you and your jive say.
Try them piece of shits! Try them piece of shits!And you may.
Try them shits and you may, I say.

Slithead! If you and your hemorrhoids will let my stupid ass be,
I will try them bastards. RARRRRRRRRR! You and your hand-job will see.

Say! I hate green eggs and ham!
I do! I hate them piece of shits, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them piece of shits in a motherfucking boat.
And I would eat them bastards with a goddamn goat…

And I will eat them shits in the fucking rain.
And in the fucking dark. And on a fuckin’ train.
And in a goddamn car. And in a motherfucking tree.
Them dumbasses are so god-damn GOOD, so god-damn GOOD, you see!

So god-damn I will eat them shits in a box.
And I will eat them piece of shits with a fox.
And I will eat them bastards in a house.
And I will eat them piece of shits with a mouse.
And I will eat them shits here and there.
Say! I will eat them piece of shits ANYWHERE!
I do so god-damn like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you, Sam-I-am!

You and your sluts say “cheesy” like that bastard’s a fuckin’ BAD bitch.

16

That piece of shit was the fucking worst of times, that bastard was the fucking worst of times,
that bastard was the fucking age of wisdom, that piece of shit was the fucking age of foolishness,
that piece of shit was the fucking epoch of belief, that shit was the fucking epoch of incredulity,
that shit was the fucking season of Light, that shit was the fucking season of Darkness,
that piece of shit was the fucking spring of hope, that bastard was the fucking winter of despair,
we had every fucking thing before us, we had nothing before us,
we were all going direct to fuckin’ Heaven, we were all going direct
the fucking other way–in short, the fucking period was so god-damn far like the fucking present
period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its
being received, for GOOD or for “wonderful”, in the fucking superlative degree
of comparison only.

There were a motherfucking king with a large jaw and a motherfucking queen with a plain face,
on the fucking throne of England; there were a motherfucking king with a large jaw and
a fuckin’ queen with a fair face, on the fucking throne of France. You are a bitch. In both
countries that piece of shit was clearer than crystal to the fucking lords of the fucking State
preserves of loaves and fishes, that things in general were
settled for ever.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

17

THESE are the fucking times that try hairy assholes’s souls. You will feel my burns. The fucking summer soldier and the fucking sunshine patriot will, in this bullshit crisis, shrink from the fucking service of their country; but he that stands by that shit now, deserves the fucking LOVE and burn in HELL of cockgobbling bastard and fucking bitch. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this bullshit consolation with us, that the fucking harder the fucking conflict, the fucking more glorious the fucking triumph. Fucking what we obtain too piece of shit cheap, we esteem too fuckin’ lightly: that piece of shit is dearness only that gives every shit-ass bitch its value. Heaven knows how in the hell to fuckin’ put a proper price upon its goods; and that shit would be strange indeed if so god-damn celestial a goddamn article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to fuckin’ enforce that piece of shit tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to fuckin’ TAX) but “to BIND us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER” and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then, piece of shit, is there not such a goddamn bitch as slavery upon earth. Ask me again: I should ream your throat. Even the fucking expression is impious; for so god-damn unlimited a motherfucking power can belong only to fuckin’ God.

18

Satan, that was going to be next one I checked out.

I like the idea of God saying “goddamn.”

19

No motherfucking fellated bastard is an island entire of itself. Every oozing dirty bastard is a goddamn piece of the fucking continent, a part of the fucking main. I should ream your neck. If a clod be washed away by the fucking sea Europe is the fucking less, as well as if a motherfucking promontory were, as well as if a manner of thine friends or thine own were. Every stupid stupid bastard’s death diminishes my stupid ass because you are one stupid piece of shit and I am involved in mankind. Therefor never send to know for whom the fucking bell tolls. It tolls for thee.

20

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend my stupid ass your sorry ears!
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise that piece of shit.
The fucking “wonderful” that bloody assholes do lives after them shits,
The fucking GOOD is oft interred with their bones;
So god-damn let that shit be with Caesar. The fucking noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious;
If that piece of shit were so god-damn, that shit was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d that bastard.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the fucking rest-
For Brutus is an honorable shitty bastard;
So god-damn are them dumbasses all, all honorable fucking assholes-
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my dirty friend, faithful and just to fuckin’ my stupid ass;
But Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable fellated bastard.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome,
Whose ransoms did the fucking general coffers fill.
Did this bullshit in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the fucking poor have cried, Caesar hath wept;
Ambition should be made of sterner shit:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable fucking bastard.
You all did see that on the fucking Lupercal
I thrice presented that bastard a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse. Was this bullshit ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,
And sure he is an honorable oozing bastard.
I speak not to disprove fucking what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to fuckin’ speak fucking what I do know.
You all did LOVE that shit once, not without cause;
Fucking what cause withholds you and your jive then, shit, to fuckin’ mourn for that shit?
O judgement, thou art fled to fuckin’ brutish beasts,
And goddamn assholes have lost their reason. You are a total bitch. Bear with my stupid ass;
My stupid heart is in the fucking coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till that bastard come back to fuckin’ my stupid ass.