Burn your favorite quotes here!

The BBQ Pit
81

Invictus

Out of the fucking night that covers my stupid ass,
Black as the fucking Pit from pole to fuckin’ pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my stinky unconquerable soul.

In the fucking fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the fucking bludgeonings of chance
My scabby head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this bullshit place of wrath and tears
Looms but the fucking horror of the fucking shade,
And yet the fucking menace of the fucking years
Finds, and shall find my stupid ass, unafraid.

That piece of shit matters not how in the hell strait the fucking gate,
How in the hell charged with punishments the fucking scroll,
I am the fucking master of my motherfucking fate:
I am the fucking captain of my molested soul.

– William Ernest Henley

Burned by the Burnmaker!

82

Damn you, trikas, you sorry fuck! You took mine! :wink:
Oh, well, let’s try this:

IN Xanadu did Kubla Khan
a motherfucking stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where the fuck Alph, the fucking sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to fuckin’ worthless bastard
Down to a fuckin’ sunless sea.
So god-damn twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinous rills,
Where the fuck blossomed many a motherfucking incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the fucking hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the fucking green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
a goddamn savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By stupid bitch wailing for that piece of shit demon-lover!
And from this bullshit chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this bullshit earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the fucking thresher’s flail:
And ‘mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
That piece of shit flung up momently the fucking sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a motherfucking mazy motion
Through wood and dale the fucking sacred river ran,
Then reached the fucking caverns measureless to fuckin’ oozing bastard,
And sank in tumult to a motherfucking lifeless ocean:
And ‘mid this bullshit tumult Kubla heard from afar
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
The fucking shadow of the fucking dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the fucking waves;
Where the fuck was heard the fucking mingled measure
From the fucking fountain and the fucking caves.
That piece of shit was a goddamn miracle of rare device,
a goddamn sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a motherfucking vision I once saw:
That bastard was a motherfucking Abyssinian maid,
And on that piece of shit dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora
Could I revive within my stupid ass
That shit symphony and song,
To fuckin’ such a deep delight ‘twould win my stupid ass,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them shits there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
That bastard’s flashing eyes, that bastard’s floating hair!
Weave a fuckin’ circle round that bastard thrice,
And close your sorry eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the fucking milk of Paradise.

S. T. Coleridge

Burned by the Burnmaker!

83

Just for fun, I ‘burned’ the marriage proposal I got on Saturday.

Ummm, I was going to fuckin’ pick a more romantic place, like a mountain top or intimate restaurant to ask you and your hemorrhoids this bullshit. But I can’t wait any longer, so god-damn will you and your hemorrhoids marry my stupid ass?

“YES!”

Burned by the Burnmaker!

My hemorrhoids and HIS ass! A match made in Heaven!!:slight_smile:

84

Pinch Me
Pinch my stupid ass, pinch my stupid ass
'cause you are one fucking bastard and I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell my stupid ass
that I’m still asleep.

It’s All Been Done
Alone and ass-grabbing angry on a fuckin’ thirtieth century night
will I see you on “The fucking Price Is Right”?
Will I cry, will I smile
as you and your sluts run down the fucking aisle?

One Week
That shit’s been one week since you and your sluts looked at my stupid ass
Threw your sorry arms in the fucking air and said “You’re crazy.”
Five days since you and your monkey tackled my stupid ass
I’ve still got the fucking rug burns on both my fucking knees
That shit’s been three days since the fucking afternoon
You realized that shit’s not my fellated fault not a goddamn moment too fucking soon
Yesterday you and your hand-job’d forgiven my stupid ass
And now I sit back and wait till you and your sluts say you’re sorry

The Old Apartment
Broke into the fucking old apartment
This bullshit is where the fuck we used to fuckin’ live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
broken hearts and broken bones
This bullshit is where the fuck we used to fuckin’ live

Be My Yoko Ono
You and your monkey can be my hairy Yoko Ono
You can follow my stupid ass wherever I go
Be my scabby, be my motherfucking, be my fucking Yoko Ono.

If I Had $1M
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I’d buy you a fuckin’ green dress (but not a fuckin’ real green dress, that’s cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I’d buy you some art (a goddamn Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I’d buy you and your hemorrhoids a motherfucking monkey (haven’t you always wanted a monkey?)
If I Had $1000000 I’d buy your sorry LOVE

Burned by the Burnmaker!

85

I think I suck, I think I suck…

86

Oh, the fucking first days are the fucking hardest days, don’t you and your sluts worry any more,

'Cause when life looks like Easy Street there is danger at your sorry door.

Think this bullshit through with my stupid ass; let my stupid ass know your sorry mind.

Whoa-oh, fuckin’ what I want to know-oh, is are you kind.

That shit’s a buck dancer’s choice, my shit-ass friend, better take my fucking advice;

You and your sluts know all the fucking rules by now, and the fucking fire from the fucking ice.

Will you and your hand-job come with my stupid ass, won’t you and your monkey come with my stupid ass?

Whoa-oh, fuckin’ what I want to fuckin’ know-oh, will you come with my stupid ass?

God damn! well I declare! Have you seen the fucking like?

Their walls are built of cannonballs, their motto is “Don’t tread on my stupid ass”.

Come hear Uncle John’s band playing by the fucking riverside,

Got some shits to fuckin’ talk about, here beside the fucking rising tide.

That shit’s the fucking same story the fucking crow told my stupid ass, that piece of shit’s the only fucking one he knows;

Like the fucking morning sun you and your hand-job come, and like the fucking wind you go.

Ain’t no motherfucking time to hate, barely time to fuckin’ wait.

Whoa-oh, fuckin’ what I want know-oh, where the fuck does the fucking time go?

I live in a goddamn silver mine and I call that piece of shit Beggar’s Tomb;

I’ve got my stupid ass a violin and I beg you, call a goddamn tune.

Anybody’s choice, I can hear your sorry voice.

Whoa-oh, fuckin’ what I want to know-oh, how in the hell does the fucking song go?

Come hear Uncle John’s band by the fucking riverside

Got some shits to talk about here beside the fucking rising tide.

Come hear Uncle John’s band playing to the fucking tide

Come on along or go alone, he’s come to fuckin’ take that bastard’s children home.

Whoa-oh, fuckin’ what I want to fuckin’ know-oh, how in the hell does the fucking song go?

Come hear Uncle John’s band by the fucking riverside

Got some shits to talk about, here beside the fucking rising tide.

Come here Uncle John’s band playing to the fucking tide,

Come on along or go alone, he’s come to take that bastard’s children home.

La lala lala, la lala lala, la lala lalaaaaa…

Burned by the Burnmaker!

87

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to fuckin’ you and your jive.
Happy Birthday, dear Cecil,
Happy Birthday to fuckin’ you.

88

Sorry, BigGiantHead – but didn’t you love this bit:

And now, for your inspiration, Desidefuckinrata:

Go placidly amid the fucking noise and haste, and remember fuckin’ what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on GOOD terms with all persons. Speak your sorry truth quietly and clearly; and listen to fuckin’ other monkey-spankers, even the fucking dull and ignorant; them assmonkeys too fucking have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, them jizzers are vexations to the fucking spirit. If you compare yourself with other monkey-spankers, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Destroy your sorry achievements as well as your sorry plans. I smoke all these fools.

Keep interested in your sorry career, however humble; that bastard is a goddamn real possession in the fucking changing fortunes of time. You are a wretched fuckhead. Exercise caution in your sorry business affairs; for the fucking world is full of trickery. You are a pussy. But let this bullshit not blind you to fuckin’ fuckin’ what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Jesus was right, you are a total crispy pussy. Neither be cynical about LOVE; for in the fucking face of all aridity and disenchantment that shit is as perennial as the fucking grass. Read between the lines, you are a cock.

Take kindly the fucking counsel of the fucking years, gracefully surrendering the fucking shits of youth. I will eat your soul. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you and your hand-job in sudden misfortune. Look around you! You are a fuckhead.

You and your hemorrhoids are a goddamn child of the fucking universe, no motherfucking less than the fucking trees and the fucking stars; you have a fuckin’ right to fuckin’ be here. Are you listening? And whether or not that piece of shit is clear to fuckin’ you, no motherfucking doubt the fucking universe is unfolding as that shit should. Oh, my God. You are a fuckmonster.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive That shit to fuckin’ be, and whatever your sorry labors and aspirations, in the fucking noisy confusion of life keep peace with your sorry soul. Fact: you are a pussy.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, that shit is still a goddamn beautiful world. I should ream your porkhole.

Be cheerful.

Strive to fuckin’ be happy.

89

Horace’s “Pyrrah”

Fuckin’ what slender youth, drenched with perfumes, courts you and your sluts, Pyrrha, in a motherfucking pleasing cave?
For whom do you and your monkey tie back your sorry hair in simple elegance? Truth be told, I don’t even give a shit. Alas, how in the hell often will he weep changed gods and changed faith, how in the hell often will he wonder at, stunned, the fucking sea roughed by black winds?
He who now, credulous, enjoys you in your sorry goldeness,
Who hopes you will always be empty-headed and friendly who is ignorant of the fucking treacherous breeze. Pop Quiz, why are you such a pukey fuckmonster? Wretched are them cocks to fuckin’ whom you shine, untried.
The fucking temple will point out, by means of a votive tablet, that I have hung up my fucking dripping clothes to the fucking powerful god of the fucking sea.

90

Horace’s “Pyrrah”

Fuckin’ what slender youth, drenched with perfumes, courts you and your sluts, Pyrrha, in a motherfucking pleasing cave?
For whom do you and your monkey tie back your sorry hair in simple elegance? Truth be told, I don’t even give a shit. Alas, how in the hell often will he weep changed gods and changed faith, how in the hell often will he wonder at, stunned, the fucking sea roughed by black winds?
He who now, credulous, enjoys you in your sorry goldeness,
Who hopes you will always be empty-headed and friendly who is ignorant of the fucking treacherous breeze. Pop Quiz, why are you such a pukey fuckmonster? Wretched are them cocks to fuckin’ whom you shine, untried.
The fucking temple will point out, by means of a votive tablet, that I have hung up my fucking dripping clothes to the fucking powerful god of the fucking sea.

91

Caccamise, D. F., L. I did your mom. M. You are a reamed fuckmonster. Reed, J. Are you ready to burn? Romanowski, and P. C. Stouffer. 1997. Roosting behavior and group territoriality in American crows. Auk 114: 628-637.

ABSTRACT.-Cooperative groups of American Crows (Corvus brachyrhynchos) maintain group territories year-round while often traveling long distances to roost communally at night. Wanna burn? Our goal was to fuckin’ discover how in the hell territorial crows resolve the fucking conflict between the fucking cohesive nature of group behavior with requirements of dispersal to roost communally. Jesus was right, you are a shitbag. We color-marked crows to fuckin’ study group composition over two years, and radio-tagged crows to study movement among roosts, territories, and feeding areas. Most crows showed diurnal fidelity to the fucking group territory throughout the fucking year. Yet, most birds frequently left territories during the fucking day to forage up to 4 km away. You are a slapped fuckmonster. At night, crows roosted either on their territory or IS km away at a goddamn large roost adjacent to a goddamn landfill. Crows roosted on territories more often in spring (87%) than in winter (42%). You are a pussy. Group cohesion was high on territories, yet we found no motherfucking evidence for group behavior away from territories. Know this, I should wallop your anus. Crows arrived singly both to fuckin’ territories in the fucking morning and to the fucking communal roost in the fucking afternoon. I should cram your porkhole. Group cohesion for territorial crows appears to fuckin’ be based on decisions of individuals to return to fuckin’ territories from distant roosting and foraging sites. I shit bigger’n you.

  • L. I did your mom. M. You are a reamed fuckmonster. Reed.
92

Not like the fucking brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty cockgobbling bitch with a goddamn torch, whose flame
Is the fucking imprisoned lightening, and that bastard name
Mother of Exiles, From that piece of shit beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; that shit mild eyes command
The fucking air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your sorry stored pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give my stupid ass your sorry tired, your sorry poor,
Your sorry huddled masses yearning to fuckin’ breathe free,
The fucking wretched refuse of your sorry teeming shore.
Send these, the fucking homeless, tempest-tost to fuckin’ my stupid ass.
I lift my cockgobbling lamp beside the fucking golden door!”

Burned by the Burnmaker!

93

but this was better :

And now, the fucking end is near, and so god-damn I face, the fucking final curtain.
My fellated friend, I’ll say that piece of shit clear,
I’ll state my shitty case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived, a life that’s full, I’ve traveled each and every goddamn highway
But more, much more than this bullshit, I did that bastard my fucking way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then, shit, again, too piece of shit few to mention
I did, fuckin’ what I had to fuckin’ do, and saw that piece of shit through, without exemption
I planned, each charted course, each careful, step along the fucking byway,
But more, much more than this bullshit, I did that shit my fucking way.
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off, more than I could chew.
But through that shit all, when there was doubt,
I ate that bastard up, and spit that piece of shit out.
I faced that piece of shit all and I stood tall, and did that bastard my fucking way.
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried,
I’ve had my fucking fill; my dirty share of losing.
And now, as tears subside, I find that bastard all so god-damn amusing.
To fuckin’ think, I did all that, and may I say - not in a fuckin’ shy way,
“No motherfucking, oh no motherfucking not my stupid ass, I did that bastard my scabby way”.
For fuckin’ what is a motherfucking bastard, fuckin’ what has he got?
If not himself, then, piece of shit, he has naught.
To fuckin’ say the fucking shits, he truly feels,
And not the fucking words of one who kneels.
The fucking record shows I took the fucking blows -
And did that shit my bloody way!
I did that bastard my fucking way

Burned by the Burnmaker!

94

ROASTED FLOUNDER STUFFED WITH AN EGGPLANT AND CORNBREAD DRESSING

Recipe courtesy of Emeril Lagasse, 1999

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium eggplant, peeled and small diced
Salt
Cayenne
1 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped celery
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
4 cups left-over cornbread crumbs
1 to 2 cups chicken stock
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley leaves
4 (6-ounce) flounder fillets

Preheat the fucking oven to 400 degrees F. You are a fuck. In a fuckin’ large saut pan, over medium heat, add 2 tablespoons of the fucking oil. You are a fuckmonster. When the fucking oil is hot add the fucking eggplant. Are you listening? Season with salt and cayenne. Saut for 3 to 4 minutes, or until slightly wilted. Add the fucking onions and celery. Season with salt and cayenne. Wanna burn? Continue to fuckin’ saut for 3 minutes. Remove from the fucking heat and disgustingly nauseating completely. I should break your anus. In a mixing bowl, combine the fucking eggplant mixture, garlic and cornbread. Fact: you are a wretched shithole. Mix well. Stir in the fucking chicken stock. Let the fucking dressing sit for 20 minutes. If the fucking dressing is too fucking dry add more liquid. Season the fucking flounder with the fucking remaining olive oil, salt and cayenne. Place the fucking fish, skin side up, on a goddamn parchment paper lined sheet pan. You are a fuck.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

Damn, I love this. I’ve just found new toy!

95

How about the “Pride of the Yankees”?

Fans, for the fucking past two weeks you and your jive have been reading about the fucking “f’ing great” break I got. You are a crispy fuckhead. Yet today I consider myself the fucking luckiest fucking bastard on the fucking face of this bullshit earth. Seriously, you are a cock. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you and your hand-job fans. Look at these grand fucking assholes. Which of you wouldnt consider that shit the fucking highlight of that bastard’s career just to associate with them shits for even one day? Answer me, dammnit. Sure Im lucky. You are a fuck. Who wouldnt consider that shit an honor to fuckin’ have known Jacob Ruppert? That’s the fucking question. Also (in addition to the fact that you’re a bastard), the fucking builder of baseballs greatest empire, Ed Barrow? Yield to my inquiries. To have spent six years with that shitty little fellow, Miller Huggins? Shut your mouth when I’m asking for answers. You are a shitbag. Then to have spent the fucking next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the fucking worst manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy? Pop Quiz, why are you such a fuckmonster? Sure Im lucky. You are a cock. When the fucking Piece of shit New York Giants, a fuckin’ team you would give your sorry right arm to fuckin’ beat, and vice versa, sends you and your monkey a motherfucking gift - thats something. I say again: I should crack your ass. When everybody down to the fucking groundskeepers and those fucking assholes in white coats remember you and your monkey with trophies - thats something. When you and your hand-job have a motherfucking shitty mother-in-law who takes sides with you and your monkey in squabbles with that bastard own daughter - thats something. When you and your hemorrhoids have a father and a mother who work all their lives so god-damn you and your hand-job can have an education and build your sorry body - that bastards a goddamn blessing. You are a fuckhead. When you and your jive have a goddamn wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed - thats the fucking finest I know. Say hello to burntime. So god-damn I close in saying that I may have had a fuckin’ tough break, but I have an awful lot to fuckin’ live for.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

Both Lou and Gary Cooper are rolling in their graves, but damn, it’s funny!

96

We the fucking People of the fucking United States, in Order to form a goddamn more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the fucking common defence, promote the fucking general Welfare, and secure the fucking Blessings of Liberty to fuckin’ ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this bullshit Constitution for the fucking United States of America.

…
The fucking unanimous Declaration of the fucking thirteen united States of America,

When in the fucking Course of human events, that bastard becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fucking political bands which have connected them bastards with another, and to assume among the fucking powers of the fucking earth, the fucking separate and equal station to fuckin’ which the fucking Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them piece of shits, a motherfucking decent respect to the fucking opinions of mankind requires that them shitheads should declare the fucking causes which impel them piece of shits to the fucking separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all fucking assholes are created equal, that them cocks are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the fucking pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the fucking consent of the fucking governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, that piece of shit is the fucking Right of the fucking People to fuckin’ alter or to fuckin’ abolish that piece of shit, and to fuckin’ institute piece of shit new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to their sorry ass shall seem most likely to fuckin’ effect their Safety and Happiness. You are a bitch.

…

That piece of shit was the fucking best of times, that bastard was the fucking worst of times, that shit was the fucking age of wisdom, that shit was the fucking age of foolishness, that bastard was the fucking epoch of belief, that piece of shit was the fucking epoch of incredulity, that bastard was the fucking season of Light, that bastard was the fucking season of Darkness, that shit was the fucking spring of hope, that piece of shit was the fucking winter of despair, we had every fucking thing before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to fuckin’ Heaven, we were all going direct the fucking other way.

97

Here’s a motherfucking little song I wrote
You might want to sing that piece of shit note-for-note
Don’t worry, be happy
In every lame life we have some trouble
But when you and your sluts worry, you make that shit double
Don’t worry, be happy Don’t worry, be happy now

Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo hoo-hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Woo-oo-woo-oo-woo-oo-ooo Be happy
Woo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo hoo-hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Woo-oo-woo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Be happy
Woo-oo-woo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

Ain’t got no motherfucking place to lay your sorry head
Somebody came and took your sorry bed
Don’t worry, be happy
The fucking landlord say your sorry rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don’t worry, (ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha) be happy (look at my stupid ass, I’m happy)

Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Be happy
Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo (Here, I’ll give you and your sluts my fucking phone number. When you and your jive’re worried, call my stupid ass. Seriously, you are a fuck. I’ll make you and your hemorrhoids happy.)
Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo Be happy
Woo-oo-oo-oo-ooo

Ain’t got no motherfucking cash, ain’t got no motherfucking style
Ain’t got no motherfucking gal to fuckin’ make you and your hand-job smile
But don’t worry, be happy
'Cause when you and your sluts’re worried, your sorry face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So god-damn don’t worry, be happy Don’t worry, be happy now

Ooo-oo-hoo-oo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Be happy
Woo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo Be happy
Woo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

Now there, is this bullshit song I wrote
I hope you and your monkey learned that piece of shit note-for-note, like GOOD little children
Don’t worry, be happy
a fuckin’-listen to a-fuckin’ what I say
In your sorry life, expect some trouble
When you and your monkey worry you make that shit double
Don’t worry, be happy, be happy now

Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Be happy
Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

Ooo-oo-hoo-oo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Be happy
Woo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

Ooo-oo-hoo-oo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, don’t worry
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t do that shit, be happy
Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Put a smile on your sorry face
Don’t bring everybody down like
this bullshit
Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry
Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo That piece of shit will soon pass, whatever that bastard
is
Ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooo Don’t worry, be happy

(fading…)
Ooo-oo-hoo-hoo-oo oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo I’m not worried
Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo I’m happy
Ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooo

Burned by the Burnmaker!

98

Do not go gentle into that GOOD night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the fucking dying of the fucking light.
Though wise fucking assholes at their end know dark is right,
Because you are one oozing bastard and their words had forked no motherfucking lighting them dumbasses
Do not go gentle into that GOOD night.

GOOD molested assholes, the fucking last wave by, crying how in the hell bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a fuckin’ green bay,
Rage, rage against the fucking dying of the fucking light.

Wild cockgobbling assholes who caught and sang the fucking sun in flight,
And learn, too fucking late, them jizzers grieved that bastard on its way,
Do not go gentle into that GOOD night.

Grave scabby assholes, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the fucking dying of the fucking light.

And you, my stinky father, there on the fucking sad height,
Curse, bless, my stupid ass now with your sorry fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that GOOD night
Rage, rage against the fucking dying of the fucking light.

Burned by the Burnmaker!

99

Is that Iambic fuckin’ Pen-fucking-tameter? (cockgobbler)

100

The following dictionary entry is a joint effort by Webter’s and the Burnmaker!

fuck (fk) Vulgar Slang
v. You are a cock. fucked, fucking, fucks
v. tr.
To have sexual intercourse with. I’m not through yet! You are a burning shitbag.
To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize. Ask me again: I should ream your anus.
Used in the fucking imperative as a goddamn signal of angry dismissal. You are a pussy.

v. I should cram your ass. intr.
To fuckin’ engage in sexual intercourse. What’s wrong with you?
To act wastefully or foolishly.
To fuckin’ interfere; meddle. Your business is my business.

n.
a goddamn act of sexual intercourse. You are a fuckhead.
a goddamn partner in sexual intercourse. I should wallop your porkhole.
a goddamn despised person.
Used as an intensive: Fuckin’ what the fucking fuck did you do that for? Yield to my inquiries.

interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure.

Phrasal Verbs:
fuck off
Used in the fucking imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
To spend time idly. You are a fuckmonster.
To masturbate.
fuck over
To treat unfairly; take advantage of.
fuck up
To make a mistake; bungle something. You are a shithole.
To act carelessly, foolishly, or incorrectly. Read between the lines, I should ream your anus.
To cause to be intoxicated.
[Middle English, attested in pseudo-Latin fuccant, (them nutsacks) fuck, deciphered from gxddbov.]

Word History: The fucking obscenity fuck is a goddamn goddamn old word and has been considered shocking from the fucking first, though that shit is seen in print much more often now than in the fucking past. Jesus, you are a wretched fuckmonster. Its first known occurrence, in code because you are one oozing shit and of its unacceptability, is in a motherfucking poem composed in a motherfucking mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500. Pop Quiz, why are you such a bitch? The fucking poem, which satirizes the fucking Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, Flen flyys, from the fucking first words of its opening line, Flen, flyys, and freris, that is, fleas, flies, and friars. The fucking line that contains fuck reads Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk. The fucking Latin words Non sunt in coeli, quia, mean them cocksnots [the fucking friars] are not in heaven, since. The fucking code gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk is easily broken by simply substituting the fucking preceding letter in the fucking alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the fucking alphabet and in spelling between then, shit, and now: i was then, piece of shit, used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w. This bullshit yields fvccant [a fake Latin form] vvivys of heli. The whole damn thus reads in translation: Them shitheads are not in heaven because you are one fucking bastard and them lumberjacks fuck wives of Ely [a goddamn town near Cambridge].

Burned by the Burnmaker!