TVeblen, can I take two of those “people who write checks in supermarket lines” so’s I can torture 'em?
Just a little bit…
:rolleyes:
pot? kettle? whatever.
That’s twice with the Pot & Kettle variant in one thread. Gonna set a record for unoriginality tonight, fatherjohnjohn?
DNFTF
Whenever john gets called out on lies or twisted facts:
"Blah blah blah I’m a fucking nitwit making up stupi-ass shit to make myself look like the idiot I am.
Source: My pet shit-site"
Whenever john cannot respond to someone without spluttering and drooling all over his keyboard:
“Dur…Pot? Kettle? Whatever”
When john posts something factual:
“…”
Wow, what an inspiration…I’ve gotta get over to that ‘Proposed new Smilies’ thread, and submit a smilie with fingers in it’s ears. Thanks fatherjohn!
Oh, and just for the record, sore losers, and morons who think they’ve won, are NOT the same.
It’s nice to see that you’re finally coming to grips with your personality, Ol’ John.
You were beaten as a child, weren’t you?
No, wait… I have a better theory… you’re really just an automatic-response program that some pimply-faced loser set loose on the web. I mean, your responses obviously indicate a lack of sentience…
If I recall, Ol’ John, there were a series of questions that you were asked, over and over, that you failed miserably to respond. Are you, or are you finally going to admit that you simply want to cause trouble?
fatherjohn, boy you really tricked us.
How cunning of you to complain about an Explorer driver and then watch us complain like you were making a broader statement about SUVs.
Well, where would we ever get that idea? How dare we apply some common sense to our experience with you.
Let’s see…you rant about SUVs…then you pop back in to complain about an SUV owner who finally got a ticket he deserved.
Let me quote you from your OP so you can see where we get our whacky ideas:
You gotta laugh: Quoting fatherjohn: “You drive a big heavy SUV and therefore you’re more important than the rest of us, eh?”
Well golly, fatherjohn, why does someone who drives a Toyota Camry and does something like riding my bumper do that? Like, the Explorer driver did it because he thought he was more important than the rest of us by proxy of his SUV…but the Camry driver who is on my bumper…he’s doing it because he feels more what?
Oh, what’s that you say? He must be doing it because he’s an asshole? Oh…when a Camry driver does it, he’s an asshole for assholes’ sake, but when an SUV driver does it, he’s an asshole BECAUSE of the SUV, or he is in an SUV because he’s an asshole? And if it’s the latter, then why isn’t the Camry owner in an SUV?
Could this explanation be a simpler, more likely, scenario?: Assholes drive all makes and models of automobiles.
Your little thread OP might have been seen as a bitch about just a driver, but you couldn’t resist the little fatherjohn bitch session about SUVs, so you included the line, “You drive a big heavy SUV and therefore you’re more important than the rest of us, eh?”
Step up to the plate and admit you weren’t being as objective as you thought you were.
Nuttin’ like a fatherjohn bitch session ™.
Sure there is. You could listen to an endless loop of a parrot with diarrhea of the mouth spewing forth a fountain of nonsense. That would be pretty close.
FatherJohnny could only sing one note
And the note he sang was this;
SUVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
FatherJohnnyOneNote
sang out with gusto
And tried overloading the place
Ol’ JohnnyOneNote
yelled willy nilly
Until he was blue in the face
For holding one note was his ace
Didn’t go GQ
Or I-M-H-O
He had topics few
And his thoughts were slow
Poor FatherOneNote
Claims that SUVs
Are the devil’s own tools that we drive
He took his one note
Howled like the North Wind
Brought forth wind that brought tears to our eyes
And claimed that he’d won, while we sighed
Couldn’t make a case
Couldn’t argue well
Wouldn’t shut his face
It was auto-hell
“Ford Explorers all are e-vil
Honda Passports too”
John said, jealous of their mighty thrill
“SUV’s make men psycho:
Their driving turns to crap
once inside” you could hear Johnny shrill
He screamed 'bout
Kia ones
Honda ones
Chevy ones
Lexus ones
All SUVs that he’d just like to kill!
Shriek FatherOne-note
Shriek out with gusto and
Try overwhelming the crowd!
So shriek FatherOne-Note out loud!
FatherJohnOne-note!
Fenris
But if you put a blanket over the parrot’s cage, it’ll stop talking and go to sleep.
Ooh ooh ooh! Can we use a blanket with scary animals on it like in the Far Side cartoon?
Only if it’s nailed to its perch.
Good luck… he’s been told that exact same thing a dozen times in a dozen different ways, and he just doesn’t get it.
Y’know, those latter five words pretty much sum up his entire personality.
So this guy decides he wants a pet. Cats are nice, but kind of aloof, and dogs are fun, but they’re a lot of work, and goldfish, well, you can’t really play with one. So he finally decides on a parrot - easy to take care of, can show them off for friends, relatively low maintenance.
So he goes to the pet store and the owner has this beautiful parrot - blue, yellow, green, the works, just stunning. So he buys it and brings it home, sets it up in its cage, the whole shebang. He takes the cover off the cage, looks at the bird, and says, “Who’s a pretty bird, then?”
Well, this parrot lets loose with the most vile, profane stream of obscenities you’d ever heard - enough to make a sailor blush. The guy, of course, is horrified - what if his little old mother were to come over and hear this? Figuring he’d take it back in the morning, he decides to just throw the blanket over the cage for the night.
Well, the parrot doesn’t like that, and starts again with the swearing, except, if you can believe it, this time it’s worse. The guy starts to panic, thinking he’s never going to get any sleep with all this racket, so he grabs the bird by the neck and throws it into the closet. This, of course, makes the bird even worse, and the guy is at his wit’s end.
Finally, in a fit of desperation, he throws the parrot in the freezer. He slams the door shut on arguably the worst stream of profanities ever to grace this earth, when suddenly everything gets quiet. The guy’s about to go to bed, thinking he’s finally going to get some peace, but then realizes that perhaps leaving the bird in the freezer overnight he might not be able to get his money back from the pet shop. He figures that if the parrot is quiet now he’ll stay quiet, so he carefully opens the door to the freezer.
The parrot hops out of the freezer onto the man’s arm, and says, “Sir, I am terribly, terribly sorry for my actions earlier. I promise you it will never, ever, ever happen again, and I hope you can accept my apology. May I go back to my cage now, please?”
The guy is clearly surprised at this turn of events, but is relieved things have settled down. He puts the parrot back into the cage, closes the door, and is about to put the blanket over it when the parrot says, “Excuse me, sir? But before you retire for the evening, may I ask one small question?”
“What did the chicken do?”
Esprix
As long as we’re on the subject of SUVs . . .
So, what did I see the other day, but a Toyota Mallrunner, complete with brush guards and 'roo bar. I’m sure you run into a lot of dangerous flora & fauna on the way to the Garden State Plaza, asshole.
:wally
Why don’t you tell that to the person driving the SUV?
Could it be because you’re a pussy?
Thought so.
Pussy Cyni? Come on, you can do better than that.
Good one Esprix!
Are we talking Jersey here?
Please oh Please let us be talking about New Jersey.
If so, I may have had the pleasure of pissing off fatherjohn. I have lived here my whole life, and I drive like a nut. I cut down exit lanes, entrance lanes, weave in and out of traffic and drive in a manner that is considered “assertive”
While most of you here may not appreciate my driving, at least you may hold hope above all other hope that a fellow doper may have pissed off fatherjohn in real life.
Fatherjohn,
If you drive on RTs 46, 17, 22, 287, 280, 10, 80, The GSP, or the Turnpike with any frequency, then you should always wonder if I just passed you by.
Yeah? Well, just an hour ago, I saw a Ford Expedition rush into a burning apartment building and save 6 children, 2 adults, and a dog.
God bless you, SUV’s!