Maybe I should wait until Monday, when people around, but considering half of Minnesota looks like this, I’ll be goddamned if I leave my apartment before the weekend is over. I’m here, feel like posting now, and I hope others are too.
So let’s talk things that you loathe when other people do, but you’ve decided are okay when you do them. Please note that all replies stating, or suggesting, that you commit no acts of hypocrisy will be summarily deleted. … What? … I don’t have the authority to do that? … Fine. I’ll just dismissively regard them as stupid.
I’ll start. I hate when people interchange homophones, or similarly-sounding words, in some attempt (I guess?) to be cute. I knew a guy who would refer to cute girls as “cooties.” Oh, right, because it’s like cuties but cooties. Oh man, that’s hilarious! God, that annoyed me to near-death.
That said, I frequently end written communications “Peas.” Oh hoh, very clever. It’s like “Peace” but different, because it references a popular food item, peas, but sounds enough like “peace” that you understand the intent. I know, I know. I just do it, okay? Also, there is no way to emphasize the word “I” in writing that pleases me. I hate the way it looks bolded, italicized, or underlined, and you can’t emphasize it by capitalizing, so I usually type “EYE.” How stupid is that on a scale of 1-10? Probably about a 10, but it’s totally cool when I do it.
I thought about this because there’s a girl at the bar who usually wears glasses, and when I spotted her without them, I was tempted to ask why she’d forgone them. Then I thought of how irritated I am when people ask what happened to mine, as if their world will stop turning until they know why I’m not wearing my frames. I thought for a second, “It’ll be cool when I ask, because I also wear glasses and am charming.” No, it’s not, and I’m not. So while I passed on the hypocrisy that time, I don’t always. There are things I hate that other people do, then do anyway because… well, because.