Butter Knife at 10:55pm

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So we were about to close up the grocery store tonight. Only a few people had been in during this day’s last hour of business for the usual… beer, breakfast items, cigarettes, school lunch needs etc. But at 10:55 a young guy hurries into the store and asks if we have a butter knife. I wasn’t sure so I went over to the kitchenware section. No butter knife. Clearly dejected, the customer asked me if anyone in our area might be open and have a butter knife. I told him he’d probably have to drive 20 minutes into Charlottesville and the guy left.

But it got me to wondering. Why would anyone go out looking for a butter knife, and just a butter knife, at 10:55 in the evening?

2

Drugs.

3

I guess he already had the butter. Just needed the knife.

4

His buddy walked $300 in alcohol out the door while you were snipe hunting.

5

Scavenger hunt.

6

I’d say for hot knifing (drugs), but you’d need two knives for that. Maybe he already had one.

7

This is my guess.

8

Marilyn Monroe once rushed up to Billy Wilder on a set and gasped, “Where’s the men’s room?”

He pointed, she raced off, he never had a clue why she needed to know.

9

Do people scavenger hunt at 11pm??

Is there something better about a butter knife for drugs that other knives would not do just as well? I guess any reason is improbable as the situation was itself improbable.

10

Advanced scavenger hunting. :slight_smile: Finding a butter knife at 2:00 PM is too easy.

11

He was trying to jimmy a lock

12

My guess would be the rather boring trying to replace the one he borrowed then lost/damaged before the true owner of the knife returned.

13

Maybe he had brought along some bread, peanut butter, and jelly to make sandwiches during a trip and he had just realized he forgot to pack a knife.

14

He probably wanted to reduce the code used in the onCreate method of an Activity class in his Android project.

15

Man must really love his butter.

16

And etiquette. I for one salute his attempt to set a proper table. In this fastpaced time, too few of us observe the simple customs and rituals that denote and define civilization.

17

My guess now is that the guy had a wife at home expecting a butter knife. Maybe he promised to pick one up earlier and forgot. Perhaps he used the regular butter knife for something else and then lost or damaged it, and his wife is pissed.

18

It was a test.

You failed.

Now, all life on your planet will perish.

19

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had an urgent need for things like a butter knife, radish rosette maker, lace doily, moustache wax, or napkin ring at 11:00 p.m.

Okay, maybe not.

Didn’t the store have any plastic utensils available (which would include the butter knife)?

20

We had plastic utensils, but that wasn’t what he wanted.