Butthurt, making emberassing assholic idiotic mistakes.

Just read my posts. I deserved it.

My question is that, how to deal with such an failure(s)? I was severely mocked and scolded. Not saying I didn’t deserve it.

But the reason I create this thread is I make a lot of mistakes like that on a daily basis. Some of the on the forums, some of them in real life. Most of them are way less strong than that. But I feel the equal strenght of pain. I deserve them. But… the embarrassment, guilt, anguish (especially this anguish shit) that I feel is affecting my working and studying abilities. Afternoons I sleep 4-5 hours in order to escape feeling mental pain.

Perhaps, I should stop using internet forums. Even tough I have been participating forums for at least 9-10 years, I am still offended on the internet. That’s ridiculous. Perhaps, not ridiculous. Even if I stop using internet forums, I’ll remain butthurt until the end of my life. (no irony intended)

Ever heard of a game called “dozens”? It’s when people insult one another mercilessly, usually with yer momma jokes. It takes character, fortitude, and stones to weather insults. The thicker your skin, the tougher you are. People like and respect people who can take a joke, bonus points if you can occasionally make a joke at your own expense. Taking a joke is a skill worth learning.

You’re catching hell because you’re being condescending and pedantic. If that’s your attitude, you’d better be right, too, or you’ll catch hell.

Nut up. You’ll be a better person for it.

Dude relax, seriously.

Correcting people’s spelling and grammar is not a good way to win friends online, and on that note the third word in the thread title is spelled “embarrassing.” In other words … chill.

What he’s trying to say is: You’ll fit right in!

I used to get all upset about things that were said on a message board that I frequented before I discovered the joy of The Dope. Finally I thought to myself: “Those people don’t know me. They could walk right past me on the street and have no clue. Random people on message boards don’t give a flying fuck about me or my life, so why should I waste precious brain power worrying about what they think of me, based on things I post in an anonymous forum?” …and then the stress melted away.

Dude, chill. Step away from the monitor and go for a walk. Sit in a coffee shop, sip a nice latte, and watch the world go by for a bit.

It took me a long time too to not be offended and hurt by what people say on the Internet. I am a little too sensitive. But the best way I found to prevent that was to develop a calm posting style, rarely insulting people or getting angry. The only times I do insult or get angry is when a) I know I am in the right and b) I really feel the other person is in the wrong. I don’t do this on conversations I am emotionally compromised on. For example I try never to get into conversations about birth control or abortion, because these are topics close to my heart.

What I would recommend to you, is read a lot. Post minimally and post lightheartedly. Don’t take everything so personally. I know, easier said than done, but don’t just fly off the handle. Actually read what people say. If you find yourself getting angry or upset, walk away.

And don’t expect this all to magically work in a moment! You are readjusting your personality somewhat. This takes time.

taskmgr.exe - You need to ask yourself every time you’re about to hit “Submit Reply” if you’d want addressed to you what you’re posting. If not, erase your post. We’ve had posters before you had rough starts and became valued members of the Dope.

We all post things we’d like to take back. Nothing says “I’m sorry” like a sincere apology.


You joined this forum two weeks ago, have posted 17 threads and 100 posts. Try dialing it down (waaaaay down) until you get a better sense of the SDMB. And try taking things far less seriously.

Meh. You’ve only been on the board for two weeks (not sure how long you’ve been lurking), so you may have not had a chance to pick up on everyone’s back stories and posting styles. Then you called out a charter member of the board. That’s the SDMB equivalent of taking a swing at a cop - you’re going to get piled on.

Hey, but at least you’re acknowledging your screw-up. Knowing is like, one third the battle.

Moving thread to MPSIMS from IMHO.

(No hostile intent here, m’dear. Just doing my job! :))

Task, (may I call you Task?), how old are you? Because what you’re experiencing is what a lot of intelligent, knowledgeable, but have-difficulty-socializing people experience in their early to mid twenties. You know a lot of stuff, you’re used to being smarter than most of the people around you, and you’re not picking up the signals that tell you when it’s appropriate and when it’s not appropriate to do something like correct someone else’s grammar.

Did you make a mistake? Yes. Did you come off as arrogant, pompous, yet ignorant? Well . . . unfortunately, yes. Do people see your name and think “oh, it’s that jerk who thinks he knows all about English?” No.

You see, it was a mistake, not a pattern of mistakes repeated over and over. You listened to the others, and you changed your behavior. Good for you!

The whole agonizing over past mistakes so much that it disrupts your life is not healthy. It could be indicative of either depression or a social anxiety. It’s crucial that you find a way around or past this, or you’re going to have a lot of unhappiness over something that really isn’t that important.

May I make a suggestion? Come join us over in the MPSIMS MMP. There’s a new one every Monday, and it’s primarily a socializing thread where people talk about life events or completely unimportant things. The pressure will be a lot less, and the people there are very accepting. Give it a try.

Have you ever heard of Gunkid? He was a notorious and prolific troll who threw a lot of discussion boards that centered around guns or survival into turmoil. More than a few actually ended up folding when too many members left rather than put up with the endless flaming.
You can learn something from anybody, though, including Gunkid. There was a time, when I first ventured on line that I was a delicate little flower who allowed myself to get upset by things people posted. Then, at one board after another, I watched Gunkid be the target of intense hatred and the most vitriolic posts imaginable. He kept on with his trolling, though, complete uncaring and unaffected by any of it.
I realized that if it didn’t matter that numerous whole boards hated Gunkid and their vituperation in the end meant nothing, that it didn’t matter if a few people said nasty things about me now and again.
I’m not recommending that you be a troll, mind you. I’m just saying that even if everybody at this whole board hated you, it wouldn’t matter.

I don’t think you deserved to be treated as harshly as you were, because it seems you posted your “correction” with a genuine desire to help, not to be mean.
On a forum like this, people absolutely do NOT appreciate having their spelling, grammar, etc. corrected. You may be the exception, because you are trying to learn English, but most people feel that it detracts from the discussion of the topic at hand and is rude and unnecessary, at best. You may see particularly illiterate posters taken to task for their poor spelling/grammar/style, etc. when these things get in the way of understanding what they are trying to say or when they seem to be saying something particularly stupid. Pointing out a typo or occasional error however is not seen in the same light.
In general, people do not like to have their errors pointed out to them. Before pointing out someone’s mistake, don’t think “would I want this pointed out to me?,” but rather “do I have any reason to believe that THIS person would want it pointed out?” If not, proceed with caution.
Now if someone starts spouting off some “facts” that are not true, you don’t have to sit back quietly necessarily, but you should address the issue tactfully. It’s not your job to correct every error you see or hear, but if you choose to correct something, be gentle and be aware that your correction may be perceived as annoying, even if you are right. People like to feel smart and well-informed, and may prefer to avoid those that make them feel stupid or picked on.

Posting this near my computer has saved me a great deal of time and energy.

Since you like bing corrected.

“Some of the on the forums” is that supposed to be “them”?

“But I feel the equal strenght of pain.” Strength is spelled strength.

“Even tough I have been” is that supposed to be “though”?

“participating forums” shouldn’t there be an “in” or an “on” in their?

Ok, I’m done correcting you.*

“I am still offended on the internet. That’s ridiculous. Perhaps, not ridiculous. Even if I stop using internet forums, I’ll remain butthurt until the end of my life.”

Seriously dude you need to chill out. You are taking this shit WAY too sriously. The only one who can control your emotions is you. The internet should not have this much control over you. If it does you need to step back and figure out the underlying source of why you let it have this much control over your emotions.

The internet is a tool for finding information, entertainment and friends. If it’s not making you happy then you are using the tool wong.
*And if I’ve made any mistakes then someone better come in and correct me. And they should probably make fun of me as well.

EDIT: Aslo what Scumpup said. He/she is very wise.

Better still, go join the Etiquette Hell boards for a while. Those people will rip you apart if you post something that could be even remotely contrived as “rude”. You’ll have an automatic brain-to-typing filter in no time.

*being. :wink:

I’m 50, which means I got through my teens and twenties with no internet upon which to post all my excrutiatingly embarassing views, mistakes, pictures, screeds, etc. I feel like I dodged a bullet there. I’m really glad that only a small handful of people know what I believed about myself and the world at say, age 22. In spite of that I still have plenty of those 3am thoughts about that horribly humiliating thing I did/said when I was 8/18/28. I can actually tell I’m blushing about stuff that everyone else forgot (please god) two days after it happened.

BTW, even at my advanced age, when in my wisdom and learning I never, ever make mistakes (hah!) I delete about 2 out of three posts composed on message boards. Wait 5 minutes, re-read, and if you still think it is a good idea, hit reply. Yeah, you get ninja’d a lot but oh well.

I suggest you identify the processes that are causing these problems and end them. Sometimes we take on too many tasks, and they end up using all our resources. In the end, it’s all about performance. If you haven’t already, try networking— it’s really important to make good connections. Just remember that help is always available, and it’s OK if you need a little downtime. Just don’t minimize yourself, and try to always stay on top.