Cafe Society peeves

Here are some things that irk me about/in Cafe Society. Obviously none of these are all that major and earth shattering, because how could they possibly be?, but sometimes one just wants to rant:

-No one cares that you’ve never watched a single episode of Buffy, or that you have never watched a single episode of American Idol. Not watching something that lots of people like doesn’t make you special and unique and interesting.

-Stop ranting about “Reality TV”. Yes, lots of it is stupid. But lots of everything is stupid. I’d tend to agree that Reality TV has a higher proportion of schlock than some other genres, but it also has some generally respected gems like Top Chef. You’re free not to like Top Chef, of course, or to start a thread explaining why Top Chef sucks, but dismissing the entire genre as if it’s all the same just makes you look stupid.

-Just because you didn’t like work X, and believe that its creators ought to have made different creative choices, doesn’t mean that the director/producer of work X didn’t get it, or was motivated solely by greed, or had never read the source material. For instance, I absolutely guarantee Peter Jackson and his collaborators had a deep love and knowledge of Lord of the Rings. They had reasons for elves showing up at Helm’s Deep. You might not agree with those reasons, but it’s because they didn’t “get it” or didn’t “care” or had no respect for the source material. Also, Steven Spielberg is a thoughtful person who certainly read and thought about War of the Worlds even if the movie he made out of it isn’t what you would have preferred. And while George Lucas made a real hash out of the Star Wars prequels in an number of different ways, it’s hard for me to see how the root problem was that he was greedy and was just motivated by money. (The trump argument there being that if he was just greedy, why on earth did he wait so long to make more movies in the absolute richest most blockbuster-guaranteed franchise in movie history?)

-It’s true that people in movies/TV shows often find unusually good parking spots, and many other similar things. Why? Because tv writers/producers have no idea how the world works? No, because they’re trying to tell a story, and part of the story does NOT involve people spending 15 minutes looking for parking spaces. (Which isn’t to say there isn’t an interesting discussion to be had listing such shorthands and cliches… but that discussion has already been had a million times, and it has a tendency to infect other, similar, discussions and turn them into the nth iteration of the same rehashing.)

-There are very very few actors who always play the same type of role in the same type of movie. There are lots of actors who USUALLY do, but very few who ALWAYS do. So having a whole spiel about how you don’t like Adam Sandler movies just means that it is you who is going to miss out on something like Punch Drunk Love or Funny People. Not that I guarantee you will or should like them, of course, but lumping them in with Ace Ventura and Mr Deeds is just plain ignorant.

-No, Joss Whedon fans are not all rabid partisans who will bite your head off if you dare to criticize their holy master. (There’s a fallacy at work here which I’ve discussed frequently in the context of politics, where there are lots of people who hold position X, and a small number who hold position X rabidly and beyond reason, and people conflate the two and start to act as if there are lots of people who hold position X rabidly and beyond reason.)

-Titanic is a very well made and entertaining movie. Really. It is. Back when it was just a movie that came out and before it was capital-T-Titanic, it got amazingly good reviews and everyone who I talked to who saw it liked it. It also has very good acting, in general (how many Oscar nominations have Leo and Kate gotten?) and the screenplay (as distinct from the dialog) is first rate.

-Stop entering threads like “What’s Your Favourite Sitcom Of All Time?” just to let us know you don’t own a TV and would never watch such dreck. It’s not a roll call of all 60,000 SDMB members/lurkers.

• Real-time posts are worthless and annoying for everyone that does not read the thread in real time. “OMG - I didn’t see that coming!” “This is lame” “Who is that” etc.

• If the show is based on a book series, and the books reveal something that has not been revealed yet in the TV show, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. I don’t really even want to see a spoiler, b/c the fact that it’s a spoiler is a spoiler. Example: “The character that was just introduced, in the books, that’s” Obviously something important. Thanks for ruining a future surprise about a minor character, asshole cf. True Blood, which was spoiled for me about five times due to this.

• PLEASE follow the rules of the OP. If the thread is titled What’s your favorite one-line quote from an obscure movie?, then posting “Bladerunner: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.” is really fucking irritating.

I support all these rants wholeheartedly.

If you’re going to put spoilers behind a box, TELL US WHAT YOU’RE SPOILING FOR. God, I hate this so much. Imaginary, hypothetical examples below.



Adam Sandler really showed off his acting skills in Ace Ventura. I swear I thought he was Jim Carrey.


Pretending that a work that you dislike that is part of a larger series that you do like does not exist is not funny or clever. Maybe the first time it was, but it has been done too many times and is now just irritating so stop it.

Post #7 in this thread? Never happened.

As someone who rarely watches TV, I wholeheartedly endorse this. That behavior is just plain rude. Leave the thread to the people who enjoy watching the show(s).

YES! Sheesh, is it that hard?

Also, stop thread titles such as “Is there no _________ thread?” or “Why no _________ thread yet?” Just start the thread already.

Me too! Especially since Tom isn’t really dead, which you’ll find out next week!

People who love a certain work, be it a movie, TV show, artist, song, work of art, etc., need to understand that not everyone will love that work, and some may actively dislike it. While the thread titled Ode to Showgirls indicates that the OP wants to chat with people who liked the movie, the title Dollhouse 2010-03-12 is open to everyone who saw the show, whether they liked it or not. That said, if you didn’t watch it, your comments are not necessary.

I can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention people who can’t believe you guys didn’t mention shot

I don’t like how Cafe Society has become the dumping ground for threads about sports and anything tangentially related to food.

Slightly off topic, but it seems to fit: when someone posts a poll, and goes to the trouble of including a pretty comprehensive list of options, don’t come in with your one-off, outlier option and act all offended: “This poll sucks because you didn’t include my one-in a million opinion as an option.” Have a little self-awareness off your obnoxiousness, 'kay?

Maybe I just ignore them, but I don’t notice any sports threads in Cafe, just in the Game Room where they should go. Just glancing down the first page I don’t see a single sports thread. And Cafe Society’s ‘mandate’, as it were, does involve cuisine, aka food.

Ooh, this is up my alley since CS is my most favoritest forum. All righty then.

  • Those bleedin’ “Guys (or Ladies): This or that?” polls where the OP never fucking explains who the guys / gals are. And I’m not talking about an OP quizzing about cultural icons like “Guys: Ginger or Maryann?” or “Ladies: Kirk, Picard, or Sisko or Quantum?” No, it’s usually much more obscure stuff like “Ladies: Dan, David, Mark or Fred?”* When I see one of these, I’m the tedious buzzkill who responds early on and says, “oh, and by the way, the OP is referring to characters from _______.” Very minor irritation but it bugs me every time.

  • The bile directed at AI contestants. Jesus. They’re a bunch of meh singers but they didn’t run over your puppy with a steamroller, then burn it, then dance a jig over the embers. So gleefully claiming they’re meth addicts / blowing the judges / grinding up glass and putting it in the tea of ____ (add the name of your pet contestant) isn’t really funny. It just makes you look like a fucking lunatic with no sense of proportion. Also, many people aren’t as knowledgable about music as they think they are. No, really. The opinion is still valid, because y’know… it’s an opinion, so you’re utterly entitled to dislike Alyciyah or Coki or whoever the irritating contestant du jour (or perhaps I should say de la semaine) is. But face it, you’re not a better judge than Kara or Simon just because disagree with them, or because you know how to pick out some song on the guitar. Believe it or not, Kara may be a smarmy pandering ditz at times, but sometimes her advice is actually spot on.

  • Roseanne characters, in case you were curious.

There’s a certain type of Cafe Society thread (which seems common enough we should try and think of a name for it), but its of the form “books/films/shows with property X”. For example, “movies where the main character never meets the antagonist”, and so forth. These threads are kinda pointless, but I enjoy them.

But almost always someone comes in, usually within the first page, and gives an example from their favorite film/book/whatever that blatantly doesn’t meet the criteria. I mean, I’m glad you guys like Firefly, or LOTR, or whatever, but you don’t need to stomp all over the point of a thread just to shoehorn a mention of it in your post.

“Who the hell is (fill in popular culture figure here)?”

According to statistics I just made up, there is a 97% chance that you know damn well who that is, and you’re being purposefully obtuse so as to appear so much above the rest of us. There is a 3% chance you don’t know who it is, and could easily find out faster by googling it, therefore you are still being purposefully obtuse and trying to appear to be above the rest of us.

That leaves a 0% chance that you are being genuine.

These are really minor peeves, but I include them here for educational purposes on the chance that not everyone already knew about them:

• You don’t need to add ten lines of empty space for mouseover spoilers of the first post in a new thread. If you don’t want the text to show up on mouseover, encase your body text in [brackets].

• You can append the code for the exact start time of the one scene relative to your Youtube link using #t00m00s. Example: “Scroll to the 5:16 mark here.” Instead of making everyone to wait for the whole thing to load, just say “Scroll here