Yes, hello, I’m looking for woman named Huggenkiss, first name Amanda.
No. No one of that name here. In fact, we only have unnamed, unnumbered robots, so please hand up and not attempt to call again.
This is a recording. You call is not monitored because there is no one to to monitor it.
Venn ist das nurnstuck git und slotermeyer? Ya! Beigerhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput!
I do not understand your response. Please press “1” to get back to the main menu.
This thread is still here.
It should be removed by now.
Where are the bloody mods?
They’re at the emergency room, getting stitched up. Quite a nasty cut, they say.
I’m gonna miss it when it’s gone. It’s become a big part of my life.
I’m gonna miss all you guys…
Of course the burning envy you feel when I am the one with the official title of threadkiller will make you unsuitable for further communication.
Sorry, but you understand.
I will?
You mean that burning isn’t the clap?
I just received an alert from my Super-Secret-Spy Ring that this thread needed my attention. I am Thread-Killa-Zilla. (Disguised as a mild-mannered creature who inhabits the depths of the Great Black Swamp, my mission is to sedate, bore, and otherwise distract posters into losing all interest in a thread.) My cunning punctuation (lack of stimulating exclamation points or question marks), over-zealous use of parenthetical notes, and lack of any interesting or controversial content to my posts make me a master of my craft.
The thread has ended; go in peace.
Nice try, but I think everyone here believes he/she is the THREAD KILLER!!!. I, however, know that I am the one true Thread Killer.
SSG Schwartz
You’re still here?
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again 418 times.
I will be here long after you have left. I have been charged with turning off the lights when the thread is closed.
SSG Schwartz
This thread **is **dark. (But not angsty.)
Not yet at least.
Get your hand off the dimmer switch, Schwartz!
Let’s talk in different languages?
これまでだ！
It’s not me. The thread is dimming. It won’t be long now.
SSG Schwartz
そんなﾊﾞｶな！
I already did that Auto, and it didn’t kill nothing.
This thread is multi-lingual. And has more lives than the offspring of Morris and the Terminator.
SSG Schwartz
ETA: That ought to put the spike through the heart.