Calling Fenris, Scyllla, DDG, etc...

It seems that some of our board citizens are concerned that our moderators and admins don’t have to sign moderator agreements.

This is most surely a travesty of justice and given that this board has so few resources that it will probably have to go “pay per post” in the near future, I though you guys might be able to help out by designing a “moderator/admin agreement” template which the Chicago Reader can use in the future.

Er, there already is a Moderator Agreement, which Arnold very kindly linked to, and which I will repeat here. Note that I still do not buy the “Catholic School Fire” explanation for the mysterious disappearance of Item E, but in the interest of board harmony, I am not being pushy about it. I have been on this MB a long time, and I have faith that Ed Zotti and the rest of the administration are doing the best they can for us, and if they can function as mods and admins without Item E being on public display, then I guess that’s okay with me.

[sub]it’s under OpalCat’s bed, in the shoebox with the Fathom server–isn’t it?

Hah! I KNEW it!![/sub]

Any particular reason you chose to single out Fenris, Scyllla (sic), and DDG for this activity? After all, if all this talk of cliques being just a fantasy is to be taken seriously, then any member’s (assuming they haven’t proved themselves to be grade-A jerks, anyway) opinons in such matters should be equally valid, yes?

Besides, shouldn’t decisions regarding how the board is run, including who administrates or moderates, and how, be made by the actual owners of the board?

Don’t have the moderator agreement handy (I’ll try to dig my copy up), but I do have a purloined copy of the

Oath of Office

I, (your name here), of obviously unsound mind (or why would I take this job?) do solmnely swear that I will support and defend Cecil’s ideals. These include[ul]
[li]Having a sarcastic wit[/li][li]Not suffering willful foolishness or ignorance[/li][li]Not explaining myself unless I feel like it*[/li][li]Fighting ignorance and not being afraid to kick any ignorance that dares fight back in it’s metaphorical nads.[/li][/ul]

I understand that in return for this, I will get[ul]
[li]The promise of a coffee mug. The physical mug may or may not arrive, but the promise will remain![/li][li]The respect and admiration of my peers, and the whining of my inferiors[/li][li]Access to the secret Mod-Only forum wherein are stored the wisdom of the universe…and about 50,000,000 filthy pictures!:eek:[/li][li]A secret decoder ring with the location of the sacred Cecil-Cave (entered by tapping…in morse code…the third word that ends in “gry” on a particular sperm-tree in California)[/li][li]The earth-shatteringly VAST powers of a Mod![/li][/ul]
Having agreed to all these things, I accept my vestiture as a Moderator and will use it as the Admins and Cecil sees fit.

So help me Cecil

Fenris (you realize that since I’ve spilled the beans, now they’re gonna have me beaten. Again.)

*The fact that most of 'em will actually choose to explain their actions rather than say “Because I said so. Don’t like it? There’s the door.” as certain less lofty individuals (ahem) might, shows their basic good nature.

I think Darwin’s Finch just got whooshed. :smiley:

Beaten? No, you’ve gone too far this time. This time they are going to make you a mod.

Yes. In fact I already pointed out that the Chicago Reader owns this message board and makes the decisions about it in the thread I linked to.

Why did I call upon Fenris, Scylla, DDG et al? Because their interpretations of this kind of stuff are often very funny and it’s been way too long since we’ve had a good Fenris opera in here.

Yes, DDG I did see the “moderator’s agreement” as posted by Arnold - unfortunately not enough people are fluent in the language for me to be confident of the translation. Should I run it through Babelfish?

Yeah, but everybody knows you enjoy it, so…

If they truly try to make you a mod, just don’t let them only give you half-vast powers. :slight_smile:

Nice try, Reprise, but you called for me and the truth MUST be told. Your real reasons for choosing the particular group you chose are:

DDG was chosen because of her vast, impressive research skills…she is the Goddess of Google! The Sultana of the Search Engine! The Queen of Quotes! (Plus, being the girl, she can make us coffee, like in Star Trek)

I was chosen because I have dared to expose the secrets of the Mods and the Clique before two name but several. Plus I’m cute, and modest, a credit to any thread and am available for parties and Bar Mitzvahs. And my overwhelming humility is refreshing!

Scylla was chosen because he’s able to handle rodents. The reason may become apparent, depending on how much mod-bashing occurs.

Fenris, truth-teller

Another list I didn’t make.

sigh

The new keyboard and the new monitor are being charged against your credit card even as I type Fenris. And how many time do I have to tell you guys we’re a cabal, not a clique?

I thought everyone knew that Fenris, Scylla, and DDG comprise the “Trilogy”.

Guess I’m just going to have to go witness in GD now - the word simply isn’t getting out. :frowning:

Well, fuck. Last time a thread like this got posted, it was Fenris, Scylla and I. See what happens when I don’t make the meetings? Just for that I’m not gonna show you guys the secret mod decoder ring™ I stole when I was staying at Coldfire’s house in the spring. It was hidden in an inflateable pig. As to where it was hidden…well, let’s just say that selling on the commodities market must not be the only thing about Clog Boy that’s short, IYKWIM. :wink:

You think you’re confused Dave in one of the ATMB threads the other day Manny got transplanted to the Netherlands (I think that was a handy thread too). Not that is scary stuff…

I resent the implication that I can’t be as witty and clever and downright amusing as Fenny. I offer up my post in this thread as an example.

Fenny’s not funnier than me… he’s just got better PR management.

You owe me a new keyboard SPOOFE.

Get in line. :smiley:

Ahem. I will consent to make coffee only if I am allowed to wear a tiny skirt just like Yeoman Rand’s. But if it’s the “K-Mart Kathryn Janeway Collection[sup]R[/sup] Ugly Polyester Slacks”, then it’s a no-go, you guys can send somebody down to Dunkin’ Donuts in the shuttlecraft.

DDG, if you even think about putting on those Janeway Slacks (shudder), I will come to your house, tie you to your bed, and spank you. And then I will spank Fenris. And then I will spank Scylla. I must give you all a good spanking.