I’ve noticed that a lot of singles site profiles start by saying “I’m a fun-loving gal…” or words to that effect.
I don’t wish to offend anyone, but doesn’t that sound kinda meaningless? It seems to me that this doesn’t really tell you anyting; after all, who doesn’t enjoy having fun? People may have different ideas of what fun is, but virtually everyone enjoys having fun.
Am I off base here? Maybe I’m wrong here, but this strikes me as empty padding. It sounds like the kind of thing that people write when they don’t have much to say. Usually, when I read such a statement, my eyes glaze over and I find myself skipping ahead to the next profile.
Instead of saying that you love fun, why not talk about what you enjoy doing instead? After all, one’s opening line (or “lead,” in journalistic parlance) needs to catch the reader’s attention. A weak opening isn’t going to thrill anyone, even if the rest of one’s profile is pretty good.
IMO, writing a singles profile is kinda like writing a resume. In both situations, one is attempting to sell oneself, and to stand out from the crowd. Yet people often use trite, meaningless phrases such as “fun-loving” or “nice person” in their profiles. Phrases like these don’t really communicate anything; after all, who wouldn’t claim to be a ncie person? And who wouldn’t claim to enjoy having fun?
When I raised these points in another forum, some posters nodded in agreement. Several others responded with hellfire and fury, though. They exclaimed “Not everybody is a journalist, so shut up!” Boy, talk about venom.
I think that such reactions clearly miss the point. Sure, not everyone can write well, but that’s beside the point. Ultimately, a well-written profile will communicate more and stand out from the crowd, whereas one that’s filled with vague phrases or meaningless fluff won’t grab much attention. Quality matters, folks. A boring or carelessly written profile says something about the person, just as a well-written one does.
Others said, “Are you saing that we should treat women like job applicants? This isn’t an interview process, bozo!” IMO, this clearly misses the point as well. Sure, joining a singles site is not the same as a job interview; however, the two situations share some critical and common features. In both situations, one is attempting to sell oneself. One is attempting to stand out from the crowd. And in both situations, the quality of one’s writing matters. A lazily written profile is less likely to garner attention that one in which more time and effort was invested.
One person chimed, “Who cares about quality? You should be the one who strives to learn about the other person, instead of judging them based on the quality of what they wrote.” Again, I think that’s horribly naive. It’s like telling a job interviewer, “Who cares about the quality of my resume? You should make the effort to dig deeper and see my positive qualities!” (I realize that some would be offended by these repeated comparisons to a job interview process. As I said before though, I’m not suggesting that we should treat the opposite sex as job applicants. In my judgment though, the two situations are roughly analogous, and in critically important ways.)
Thoughts? Comments?
If someone starts off with trite, generic phrases like “fun-loving” or “nice” or “appealing,” this tells me that the person lacks imagination. More often than not, I find myself skipping ahead to the next profile.