Calvinball Begins!

Here we are, in The Straight Dope HQ. Each team starts, well, wherever the hell they want.

First Objective: Find Cecil.

He won’t like being disturbed, so try and be quiet about it!

Heh heh heh, BEGIN!

Kat grabs the Calvinball and runs down the hall with it. She stops and ducks into an office, checks the nameplate on the desk. Darn, it’s Ed Zotti’s office, not Cecil’s. Wonders if they’re supposed to throw the Calvinball at Cecil or something when they find him–hopes not because whoever found him would end up as crispy critters when the lightning bolt hit him/her. Ducks under the desk when she hears noises in the hall.

Nym comes running into the office and grabs Kat by the arms. After pulling her out from under the desk, she bestows upon her the magical Nymkiss™ to freeze her in place for five minutes. Leaving her to be found by whomever is walking down the hall, Nym grabs the ball, bolts for the door and runs to the stairwell, cackling madly all the while.

Nym runs up the stairwell, only touching every third stair and only on the left side (isn’t that a rule or something?) until she gets to the top floor. Where else would Cecil be? Stoopid Hobbes team. :smiley:

From there, she invokes her second power, turning her immediately into Android. Sauntering drunkenly down the hall s/he mumbles unintelligibly to her/himself about why we couldn’t have played rugby instead. Many people stop to stare at the guy bouncing off the hallway, but who’s going to mess with a drunk limey? Unfortunately, right before s/he gets to a huge, golden door, s/he passes out.

<Taking over for the Spaceman Spiff team>

ts slides across the room, socks on linoliuminuminum :whoosh: grabs the ball and bolts out the door.

Diving back in through an open window, he hops into the wagon o’sled and rockets down the stairs (nevermind the multi-floor thing, 'tis not important).

Careening across the floor, he crashes into a T-rex, suddenly ending his mad spree.

<grabbing the ball for the Susie Derkins team>

Jumping into my time machine, I jump back to Ed’s office and grab Kat, and place her in teh employee cafeteria, where he frozen state won’t be noticed. I then head for the kitchen, and fall into a lage vat of Spaghetti. Ther Ball squirts out of my hands and bounces into the hall…

screech-owl hastily scribbles this thread on her arm and on various walls so she can remember who is on her team and who is

[deep, ominous announcer voice]
“…the enemy…”.
[/deep, ominous announcer voice]

(Also prints out copy to tape to computer for fast reference.)

Notices ball bouncing down the hall, grabs it and tosses it to back to thinksnow.

Utilizing his time travel underwear, rundogrun travels back in time to replace the T-Rex with a giant foam finger, so that thinksnow can bounce up and catch the ball from screech-owl.

<ts whatches the ball whiz past his head, and…bounce back, landing squarely in his hands!>

<looking over, we see Guniastasia become visible again, just in time to collapse in a heap on the floor with quite a shiner developing!>

Nice toss screech & thanks for the assist, rundog!

Using my Special Ability[sup]TM[/sup], I crash Balances computer by resetting the BIOS password and introducing the blue screen of death.


Pulling my best Curly Johnson move, I dribble, criss-cross, jive-bob-and-weave across the room, sky-hooking it to Wolverine

thinksnow staggers as his mysterious mental power over computers is preemptively blocked by Balance’s nullification (remember?). The shock disorients him so that his pass goes to *Balance instead. Balance looks frantically for a sign that says “This way to Delphi Room.” Failing to spot one, he concludes that Cecil must be on a higher floor and passes the ball to Spider-Woman .

screech-owl runs through the streets and parking lots around the building, kicking each car and setting off a complete cacaphony of car alarms! The horrible noise of whoops and honks startles Balance and the pass to Spider Woman goes wild! Loose ball! It’s anyone’s!

The ball is grabbed secret-triple-agent-who’s-secretly-doing-it-all-for-that-team ** dpr ** who looks to pass it to someone else but gets confused about which side he’s on atm.

With a sigh he throws it over his shoulder and walks off to get his decoder ring so he can check his notebook…

1975: More than 22,000 died when a severe earthquake struck Guatemala and Honduras, Queen Elizabeth knighted Charlie Chaplin, Vietnam war finally completely over, The West Indies, captained by Clive Lloyd won the first World Cup Cricket series, beating Australia by 17 runs at Lords, Rohypnol was first marketed as a sleeping pill

Balance snags the ball that dpr carelessly cast aside and makes a run (well, a trot, anyway) for the staircase. If he can reach the next floor, he’ll be clear to make a break for the elevators…<thud> Oh, no! His innate clumsiness trips him on the stairs and the ball bounces toward Guinastasia. Balance frantically switches over to “nullify Guin’s ability to remain unconscious during a game” long enough for her to wake up and catch the ball.

At this point, I’d like to renew my “blue-screen of death” attack on Balance if I may?

blows whistle

Penalty on screech-owl: Denting the ref’s car

You must stand on your head for 2 posts

resume play

<instantaneous counter>
ZOT! Sorry, thinksnow. I’m blocking you again (since you seem to like targeting me).
<instantaneous counter>

Besides, I’m not using a beta version. Nyaah, nyaah.


Smiles and bats eyes shyly and seductively at idiotboy ref, making him completely forget about the dent in the car and the world around him, paralyzing him just long enough for her find plumber’s helper and pull dent out of car.* No long-lasting effects, except for a short-term memory loss of those few moments.

bat bat bat bat bat

Huh?*********** (idiotboy ref is completely smitten)


[coy voice]
What dent?
[/coy voice]

Resumes game.

*[sub]Hey, I’d be ticked too about a dent in my car! Gotta stay honest.[/sub]

Right…musta been the way the sun was reflecting…sorry 'bout that. BTW, did I ever tell you that you have lovely eyes? :smiley:

Penalty withdrawn, resume game

Blackclaw [Hobbes Team], The T-Rex ThnkSnow ran into earlier is desperately trying to figure out who has the ball so he can bite them. Failing to figure this out he rampages about the office chewing up furniture, chairs, and computers.

A name plate with the words “l Adams” is just visible from the T-Rex’s jaw having been punctured by a rather large tooth.

looks, around, snaps up the loose ball, tucks it under a free arm, and sidles into the office copier room. There, she flattens the ball and makes several copies of it, webbing them into three dimensionality as they are printed.

These copies, with their web enhancement, will stick to the hands of anyone who touches them (but not the floors, ceilings or walls).

Spider Woman dashes into the hallway and encounters screech-owl, seductively batting her eyelashes, so she hands her one of the fake Calvinballs.

She hands the real one to Blackclaw and skitters off to randomly distribute the other eight counterfeit balls. . .


screech-owl takes the ball from Spider Womanand runs down the hallway (after flirting for a few more moments with idiotboy ref - okay, a few minutes.
.Alright 20 minutes! I like when guys talk about my eyes! So sue me!)

::Screeches to a sudden stop after checking the list scribbled on her arm and realizing Spider Woman is not on her team.::

Hmmmm, must be some sort of trap. What on this ball, cat spit? Yeccch!

::tries to throw ball away, but it’s stuck to her hand::

Clever. Very clever.

[Internal monologue censored and deleted as screech-owl tries to free her hand from the stickiness, and remembers old sit-com/cartoon cliches where character would get hand, then other hand, then foot, stuck to a sticky item, ending up with most external body parts stuck to sticky item. Sudden embarassment as screech-owl realizes she has done just that in trying not to get herself stuck to ball.]