Disclaimer: This story is possibly apocryphal. My sister-in-law claims it as first-hand, but ya never know.
My SIL was in gym class late last year when one of the girls hobbled up to the coach and asked if she could hit the bench for a little while. When the coach questioned her about it, she said it was because she “had a camel toe”.
The coach looked at her oddly. “A camel toe?”, he asked. “Yes!”, said the girl, “I have a camel toe!”
“Fine”, said the coach, and the girl took a seat on the bench.
It was two or three minutes before the girl jumped up and started yelling at the coach…
“Charlie horse!! I meant I have a charlie horse!!!”
Like I said…I don’t know if it’s true or not, but damn I hope it is.
I don’t know where people got that genitalia were ugly looking, I think this has something to do with the fact that people are not normally accustomed to seeing those parts of other people’s bodies except in certain circumstances, so it isnt something mundane like eyes or elbows or fingers.
I think male and female genitals look nice in their own respective regard. Women’s bits are pleasantly compact; as that one website showed, a woman can wear the tiniest of bikini bottoms and still not actually expose anything. There is nothing to get caught in zippers, smooshed, bent, or bruised. A guy’s bits are a master of functionality. Plus having a penis makes it much easier to pee standing up, or pee into a container if need be. Also, in the morning, its great for hanging my towel on
This guy is making out with his girlfriend and she says, “Put two fingers inside me”. So he does, and he fools around for a bit while she keeps giving him instructions.
“Put four fingers inside me.”
“Put your hand inside me.”
“Put your other hand inside me.”
“Put your head inside me.”
“Now climb in.”
So he’s crawling around in there, and after a while he comes across another guy holding a cigarette lighter and peering at the floor. “Have you seen a set of keys anywhere?”, asks this other man.
“No”, replies our hero, “why?”
“Because if you find them, we can drive my 18-wheeler out of here.”
Well, the woman described in the OP could probably keep a whole chapter of Hell’s Angels in leather jackets if they tanned her beef curtains.
Just in case I haven’t disgusted people enough yet:
“Sunk to the nuts in her vertical grin”, “a twatload of bladder adder snot”, “you could use her pubes as dental floss”, “a clit like a bean in ten pounds of bacon”, and if you’re going to gobble my knob take your false teeth out first, love.
Honestly, there’s some weak-stomached buggers around here…
I have a book of “Tijuana bibles”, those dirty cartoon books from the 30’s to the 50’s. A slang term for the penis many of them use: “kidney disturber”. I almost fell over when I heard that one. I started using it in life but it failed to catch on, though.
Elenia28, you mentioned in another thread that you’re 15, right? Please tell me you’re older. Because discussing a 15-year-old’s beautiful meat flaps with her was not on my List Of Things To Do Today. Not that I’m not enjoying your posts, mind you, but we’ve definitely crossed over into surreal territory here. I mean, it’s not like I woke up today thinking “Gee, I’ll go to work, look over the Anderson report, go to lunch, and then talk to a 15-year-old about her beautiful meat flaps.” Seriously, that wasn’t on the schedule until next week, earliest.
Though I suppose I could fit you in Friday after the big stockholder’s meeting.
Years ago, when I was still in the Navy, we would occasionally have a fundraiser known as “Civilian Clothes Day.” You’d pay a couple of bucks and get a ticket to carry around in your pocket (though no one ever asked to see it that I know of), and this ticket would allow you to wear civilian clothes for that day instead of your military uniform. We had this one guy in our watch team that was a little…odd. On civilian clothes day he would wear things that were definitely NOT things that normal people would be caught dead in, his favorite being a straightjacket. Anyway, one day he showed up in a full body leotard, a tuxedo jacket, and those little ninja bootie things that look kinda like mittens for your feet (see here). This was absolutely too much for my friend Diana. She went to our watch coordinator and complained saying, “You can see all of his business. He should not be allowed to wear that to work! It’s insane. If I came to work wearing stuff so tight you could see my camel toe I’d get sent home to change.”
My watch coordinator said in all seriousness…
“I think his shoes are supposed to look that way”
:smack:
I am another one of those folks that never heard the term until quite recently.
And I definitely agree with Elenia28 that the term “camel toe” is repulsive.
That being said, I am 150% in favor of viewing this fine feminine feature but a new term for it is definitely called for.
I’m reaching for a word here to describe what I’m seeing, with someone who goes by the name Floozy thinking that dangling one’s juicy bits in public as being tasteless. Is it “irony”?
