Whoops, I was trying to use a smilie as a link. It worked, but it didn’t underline it.
I’m not gonna relink it though. Just click on the smilie.
<hijack> I was staying at a nice hotel in New Orleans - I left my room on the 17th floor for breakfast one morning - there was another “gentleman” in there when I got on - and the 'vator was reeking with fart - that nasty, eye-watering “stick to the walls” type of fart that soils and corrupts everything it comes into contact with…and it had noxious undertones of long unwashed ass and body too. Really rank.
He got off on the 12th floor, and I was alone with the stench on my way to the lobby…until the elevator stopped on the 9th floor and nice, refined looking couple got on. They caught a whiff of this vileness that was still dripping off the walls just as the doors closed, and they kept sneaking peaks at me all the way to the lobby. I wanted to tell them that it wasn’t me that caused that evil smell…but I said nothing. I learned a lesson that day, but damned if I can figure out what it is…
<end-of-hijack>
Thank you.
<< bowing in awe once again to the great and almighty powerful Lieu >>
You can trap big farts and keep them, but the little ones are purely catch-and-release. And don’t you dare do it out of season!
Also, best to use a “humane” fart trap, not one of those nasty leg-hold types.
If I could save farts in a bottle,
The first thing that I’d like to do,
Is save farts every day
Till Eternity passes away,
Just to send them to you.
My God, this is a thing of beauty.
*But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you lay them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to blow
My gas at…
If I had a box just for methane
And beans that had suddenly come due
The box would be empty
Except for the huge hole
Of how they were blasted at you*
You know, I nomally detest saying this but…
ROTFLMAO 
[Emeril] What’s in that essence? BAM! [/Emeril]
This is possibly the funniest thread I’ve ever read. Happy gassin!!!
At some stage someone was selling bottled rabbit farts on ebay. They didn’t seem to sell any while I was watching and I am unsure how someone would capture a bunny fart unless said bunny was really compliant. Perhaps the op has some commercial enterprise in mind?
:smack: dammit zombie got me again
Kids today with their modern conveniences. Cell phones, segways, fart taps.
Sheesh, back in the day we had to clamp down if we wanted to trap a fart.
In my school we were content with just lighting them on fire although we did speculate that you could insert one end of a rubber tube up your bum and another end to a balloon in order to build up a good one; I don’t know of anyone who actually admitted to trying this. My question is would this said fart balloon float or drop to the group? Could I walk around proudly with my fart balloon floating high and then pin pick it at the proper time? Would this be a violation of laws against WMD’s?
That fart has probably gone bad by now.
Honey Boo-Boo’s take on using farts for evil: Cup-a-Fart
Farts are mostly nitrogen and hydrogen. Methane makes up less than a quarter of flatus by volume, at least in humans, and it’s odorless. The smell comes from trace quantities of various sulphur compounds like methanethiol and hydrogen sulfide.
Remember, for better effect, “Do I smell cookies?”
Do the bottled rabbit farts smell like carrots?