Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!
Right on, smug, kinda like some fool asking you why you’re pulling that twenty-foot chain behind you, huh? 
Hermit
um… thanks - what did i win?
It was a GREAT set-up by Biffer…
In fact, it was a no-look, behind-the-back, gift pass up-the-middle-for-an-easy-score set up by Biffer.
Oh! Sorry, I thought they said “Go look at his PEANUTS”…
O
vidi vici veni!
“The monkey pulled your tail thinking it was a vine to swing on. The parrot pulled your tail cause she wanted a worm to eat. Me, well, I was…”
and the monkey retorts…
“you’ve got a sign on your ass that says ‘Pull Me’”
This one made me laugh right out loud, but I also love the “Holy shit, a talking elephant” for it’s simplicity and grace.
My standard punchline for all jokes is “rectum? damned near killed 'im!”
“Bitter? I don’t even know 'er!”
(No? Er, how about:)
“And at these prices, you won’t see many other kangaroos in this bar either!”
(No. Damn. It scans all wrong. Oh well, there’s always:)
“No, I’m a frayed knot!”
::confused look:: I dont get it.
The snake replies with a hearty “squitch”, clearly unable to withstand the rigors of being pinned by a livid elephant.
Now, I know I’m a little late here…but man, rundogrun, I tihnk you came up with a pretty good sig line…
ALL YOUR BASE, ARE BELONG TO US.
the snake replies:
‘puerto vallarta! puerto vallarta! no whammies!’
damn, thats stupid.
“Well, isn’t every horny guy trying to pull a little tail?”
Is that really your tail or are you just happy to see me?
Yes, I know it’s lame. Shut up.
We started a road-crossing pool. Some of us bet on the chicken.
[sub]Maybe I should cross-post to the dumb jokes thread.[/sub]