I have a job at the zoo circumcizing elephants…
The salary sucks, but the tips are HUGE.
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees!
I’ve never seen an elephant in a cherry tree.
See, it works.
See, I heard it this way:
Q: Why do elephants paint their balls red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees!
Q: What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
And, my favorite elephant joke:
Q: Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they’d be aspirin.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t! You get down from a goose.
Why do elephant dentists prefer to work in Alabama?
Because Tuscaloosa there!
What do elephants and milk have in common?
They both come in quarts.
Ooooh! My favorite class of jokes! Elephant Jokes!
How are elephants and prunes alike?
They’re both purple and wrinkled, except for the elephants.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants approaching?
Here come the elephants!
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants approaching?
Here come the prunes! (Jane was colorblind)
Why do elephants have flat feet?
So they can stamp out flaming ducks
What’s the brown stuff between an elephant’s toes?
slow moving pygmies
How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
You find his footprints in the butter
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Elephino
( pronounced: hell if I know )
Bahh! NEXT
(Safeway is a west coast supermarket chain)
How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway shopping cart?
You take the ‘S’ out of ‘SAFE’ and the ‘F’ out of ‘WAY’…
Heh, I bet y’all didn’t realize that an elephants genitalia are on the bottom of his feet. True scientific fact.
…
…
…
If one steps on you, you’re fucked.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
…
…
…
…
“How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”
Daniel
I hate to do this to you, but:
duhhhh, I don’t get it.
Daniel
Yeah…there is no "f’ in way.
How do you kill a pink elephant?
Shoot it with a pink elephant gun.
How do you kill a purple elephant?
Tickle it pink and shoot it with a pink elephant gun.
Sooo… there’s no effin way you’ll get an elephant in a shopping cart?
oooooohhhhhhh!
In a different but related vein,
What’s green and brown and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A pool table
What’s long, brown, and sticky?
A stick
“Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”
- Groucho Marx
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Big giant holes all over Australia!
Psst, White Lightning, we have Safeway here on the East Coast, too.
Man, I love that joke. Gets me every time.
No foolin’, BiblioCat? I had no idea.
Why does an elephant have cracks between its toes?
…To carry its library card.