Once more with feeling- TRULY AWFUL JOKES!!!!

Got a bad joke? You know, one of those tired old groaners that makes your spouse pick up the TV remote-and throw it at you? This is the thread for them! Come one, come all, post your bad jokes here:

A guy goes to the Doctor. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home.’”

“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”

“Is it common?”

“It’s not unusual.”
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was brilliant.

Why do some snakes have so much trouble with multiplication tables?

Because they’re adders!


Where does Napolean keep his armies?


This whole thread just goes to show you that you can’t hang a man with a wooden leg!!!

Get somebody to stretch ou their neck muscles and spell I MET. (I am ET)

Get a girl to put her hands on her knees and spell RUN. The ones who takes 5 minutes to finally get it are the funnest.

All you have to do is cut down a tree, make a table from the logs, and give it to them. Everyone knows you can multiply by adding on a log table.


Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?

They’re really making headlines!!

::Dooku gets pelted with rotten fruit::

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Blow a little boogie into it.

What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?

Everybody … all together … sing along …

“You are the wind beneath my wings …”

Mushroom is chatting up a beautiful woman, but when he finally asks her out, she says no. He replies, “Why not? I’m a fungi.”

Why are elephants big and grey and wrinkly?
Because if they were small and white and smooth, they would be aspirin.

I must be an idiot, I don’t get it.

Q. why couldn’t the kids see the new pirate movie?

A. it was rated aaaaarrrrr!!!

Me. knock knock
YOU. who’s there
ME. interrupting cow
YOU. interupt

Thank you, I’ll be here all week, try the veal


I get the ET one, not the other.

Why did the elephant wear tennies??

Because nine-ies were too small and eleven-ies were too big.

What makes hair dance?

A headband!

A doper favorite worth repeating…

What’s black and white and green and white and black and smells terrible?

Two skunks fighting over a pickle! (this just cracks me up!)

Ok World Eater take a deep breath…picture a girl on her hands and knees going “Are You In” (RUN) over and over…start giggling

How do you get a drummer off of your porch?

Pay for the pizza

Why do chicken coupes have 2 doors?

If they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.

How do you keep a moron in suspence?


What the difference between a pizza and a rock and roll drummer?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Polish burglar.