What do you get if you cross an elephant with a Boy Scout?
An elephant that helps old ladies across the street.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mouse?
Elephant Mouse Sine Theta.
How do you trap an elephant?
Dig a hole
Fill the hole with ashes
Circle the hole with peas
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When the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole!
yes, I actually demonstrated this in grade school.
Why can’t an elephant ride a bicycle?
He doesn’t have a thumb to ring the bell.
What does an elephant use for a vibrator?
An epileptic pigmy.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Eliphino
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out flaming ducks.
What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
----Hark, there are elephants coming over the hill!
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?
----Nothing. He didn’t recognize them.
i know it’s bad, but really funny at the same time
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
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So they can hide in cherry trees without being seen.
Why did Tarzan die?
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He was picking cherries. 
AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE!
Okay there is this mouse an this elephant walking through the woods. They are going along fine and suddenly the mouse falls in a hole. The elephant walks over to the edge and says “Don’t worry I will get you out.” He whips out his dick, throws it down the hole and the mouse climbs out. Happily, the mouse and the elephant proceed on their little trek. They go on for about a mile when suddenly the elephant falls down in the gigantic huge hole! The mouse runs over to the edge and says “Don’t worry, I will get you out!” The mouse then runs back to the edge of the woods jumps in his Porsche drives up to the edge of the whole rigs the wench, throws a rope down in the hole and pulls the elephant out.
Moral to that story: If you have a Porsche you don’t need a big dick.
What’s the difference between an elephant and a plum?
Plums are purple.
What did Jane say when she saw the herd of elephants coming over the hill?
“Oooh, look at all those plums!” (She was colorblind.)
Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled?
Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they’d be aspirin.
Similar to one above: Why do elephants paint their balls red?
To hide in cherry trees.
What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries.
What’s grey and comes in quarts?
An elephant.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinocerous?
Elefino.
Why do elephants paint their toenails red, yellow, green, orange, black, and purple?
To hide in the jellybean jar.
Ever seen an elephant in the jellybean jar?
Works, doesn’t it!
What’s a good name for an elephant?
Henry. Go ahead. Ask him. Henry’s a good elephant.
Why are Volkswagon beetles illegal in Africa?
Cuz elephants will screw anything with a trunk in front!
he he he , he said wench
Opps I ment winch. I am such a girl!