I never heard my mom OR dad fart. It’s taboo. My MIL, on the other hand, doesn’t care. She’ll walk by, toot-toot-toot…and if you laugh at her, she says, “Fuck you, Kalhoun.”
This post is my nomination for Funniest Post Of The Day. Jesus! That’s hilarious!
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I have a copy of a collection of Ben Franklin’s essays, called Fart Proudly.
Uh, no.
Boys are totally bizarre.
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Wow. Is your MIL as cool as she sounds?
Personally, I came from a fart-forgiving family. Consequently, I’m quite happy to fart with gusto in front of anybody in my immediate family – Mother, Father, Husband, kids, siblings.
Beyond that, I stifle it. I certainly would never have farted at work.
She’s 83 and yes, she’s pretty cool for the most part. She hates her HMO doctor and refers to him as Dr. Prick. Her sexual escapades with the deceased FIL are hilarious. She’s about 4’9" and tough as hell.
Out on the job sites around here, it’s considered good form to fart with impunity, as that gives fair warning, so the other guys can then move to another part of the house.
However, if plumbers are also there on a particularly nasty sewage job, it’s acceptable to sneak in a SBD and then say “Damn, hope y’all get that fixed soon, we’re trying to work in here!”
An exception to this is if you are working with a partner, and during the course of work, ones face is near ones butt (like holding a ladder, or bracing said partner)
Proper procedure then is to say “Uh, hang on” put down whatever tools/material one is holding, quickly move away from the work area, and only then fart with impunity.
Failure to comply with this section of the building code can result in on the job injuries.
God no, how rude. I’ve never worked anywhere where farting in front of people was acceptable. My husband and I don’t fart in front of each other, either. It’s a sexual relationship, people. Try to keep it a little sexy. Also, again the rude thing. Leave the room if you need to “drop ass.”
The derivative traders at Swiss Bank Corp (O’Connor partners) would light up with cheery abandon. The favored manuver was to leave a SBD bomb and go back to your trading screens out of odor range. These were guys that made between $500k and $5 million per year. Best defense is a good offense I always say. Anyone involved with the derivatives desk like traders, sales, analysts, etc pretty much all joined in. I’m happy to report that even a couple of Japanese women with big brass ones would join the fun.
Alas, it’s been a long time since I’ve worked on the trading floor and said behavior isn’t really tolerated in most corporations.
However, in China, you can get away with a loud rip in a serious meeting. It’s not as common as it used to be, and among the younger set would likely be considered gauche
I’m somewhere in between. I wouldn’t fart at work, but I sure as hell let rip at home. Especially if I’m in the vicinity of my 13 year old son. Lil’ bastard deserves it.
I’m surprised how many people won’t perform normal human bodily functions in front of spouses. I mean, maybe not friends or whatever, but I wouldn’t think my SO less sexy for cutting one once in a while (unless it was during sex, but only because it would be a little funny). I generally don’t like fart jokes either, just because its a normal thing that everyone does. Sheesh.
I work in a factory, so sac-scratching, loogie-hocking, burping and farting are things I witness daily. Some of the guys even count the freedom to do so as part of the reason they choose to work there.
I did get partnered with one older guy who was painfully, and cutely, torn on what to do since he was stuck with a girl. He tended to not stifle his regular farting, but did usually walk a few feet away out of deference to my delicate sensibilities. Only took me a day to realize not to follow him unless told to, whew!
You guys are missing it all - see, I’m a librarian, and that means I work with mostly women. The thing is, women would never, ever, say anything. So you can drop any little bombs you like, and it’s basically like getting away scot free! (Especially in the elevator, on the big boss.) And they’re too ladylike to talk about it! So especially if you can get away soundlessly, go ahead! Fart proudly! (I do.)
Women are trained through their lives to swollow farts. They are saved for when they get married .Then the backlog is released. Getting up a couple times a night to peel the covers off the ceiling is not what I signed on for.
The bad ones are the burrowers. When you sit in a soft chair or couch they sink like a rock,and wait. Someone will sit down and release them. They work up a special stench while they are buried.
Woah… debilitating odor? I’ve cut farts that have caused grown men to bump into each other trying to exit a restroom. One time one of my farts even gave someone the hiccups. But never, and I pray to heck the day never comes, has one of my farts actually caused someone to limp or throw their hands into the air and shout “You win! I fucking give up!”
Dont know about work but if you`re in a deserted part of an empty floor in an almost empty library and let one go ;almost immediately out of nowhere appears a body choking on what has got to be your foul stench due to the total absence of people and its always !always an incredibly pretty girl !
Ladies, LADIES! I have it on good information that women do NOT fart. I recall Dr. Gabriella telling Chronos that this is a medical fact! (I tried but can’t find the recent post)
My S.O. and I always burp in front of each other with an “excuse me”, but no farting. 'Specially when we’re drinking beer together and watching football.
(Yes, I have a good S.O. guys!)
She puts me in another room when I eat hard-boiled eggs and drink beer for some reason. 
I try not to fart (audible or obviously) in anyone’s presence. Sure, it’s a natural bodily function, but then so is elimination, and I don’t do that in front of people either. (And it’s not a nekkidness thing – not entirely, anyway – as I won’t even let the wife in the bathroom when I’m busy) It’s just unpleasant business and if I have to float an air biscuit … well, let’s just say I’ve developed some impressive sphincter control. I can pull a drive-by SBDF that will leave people looking around with their eyes watering, but I can manage it without casting suspicion my way. I do, however, try and find a spot with little or no traffic in which to do it.
When I’m by myself though, windows will rattle and china may break.