Oilfields, pipelines, hockey moms, everything as-is. Mind you, we can only offer you a quitclaim deed, not a warranty deed. If the Russians want to make a claim, that’s between you and them.
How would you like Quebec? And to sweeten the deal (eh?) you can keep Shatner!
I would trade you New Brunswick. Sorry, New Brunswick, but I never notice you and haven’t been there. Alaska, on the other hand, I fell in love with and still remain so. What do you say? I will throw in Surrey, BC, too.
Pleeeease can we have Alaska?
I forgot to mention that I will add Celine Dion and Avril Levigne.
Celine, Avril, New Brunswick, and Surrey.
Nope. You have to keep Celine. That’s a deal-breaker!
You have to keep Avril too. Ick.
Throw in 15% of five years of your national production of peameal back-bacon and ya got a deal! (It’s good on pizza.)
Hey! No giving away Quebec! It’s the only thing that keeps Ontario from becoming Albertan!
I’m beginning to think that you could lend them Toronto, though. All the wannabe New Yorkers can eat their words. I’d be worried about it being swamped by a tide of bad real-estate lending, though.
Could we maybe have Nova Scotia? I like Nova Scotia.
Nope. Sorry, we’d have to change the design of the dime, and that just isn’t going to happen.
But, but Marijuana is legal in Alaska under state law…
THAT aside, I’m sure a good deal can be made. 
I might consider PEI and Nova Scotia. That includes the hill where the cars roll uphill when you put them in neutral, right? And the bay of fundy?
Course we’ll then need to make an existing state two to keep our count at 50. Okay, let’s circumcise Florida.
You do not want New Brunswick. It comes with my husband’s Mother and she will NOT leave.
I was going to say that the US can have the Torontonians, but Canada will keep Ontario. Seems a fair trade–the US gets a bunch of wheeling-dealing wannabe-New Yorkers who can balance a half-caf double latte (with just a hint of cinnamon) while reading the Wall Street Journal and e-mailing the office from their Blackberries while driving their BMWs to work, and Canada keeps Rainbow Country. 
The older Canadians who watched CBC on Sunday nights will know what I mean.
Do we have to take Palin?
“Alaska.”
What, and spend our entire military budget defending ourselves against Kamchatka? No thanks, you can keep it. Good neighbours make good fences!
I could get behind that! Put the border somewhere between Gainesville and Orlando.
The Florida Idea is not bad at all.
And it would help Democrats too! 