Candles are demonic...yes, that's right: CANDLES

[Persephone]

Books on other religions?

Like, the Old Testament?

[vanilla]

I am not nuts.

[Krisfer_the_Cat]

Ya know that does expalin a lot…

And here I have been blaming all that wierd shit and bumps in the night on the cats…

My sweet little Granny will be sbocked to find out how evil she is with all those owls …
Waiter! Lithium cocktail to the couple over there in the corner.

[Earthling]

*Originally posted by presidebt *
How many demon-busting bluegrass tunes can you name? :rolleyes:

Calm down. It’s a riff on this self-styled ministry having the same name as a movie, where a famous scene had a terrific banjo & guitar duel.

But yeah, just perusing the titles to his articles is a jaw-dropper:[ul][li]Dolls, toys, and stuffed animals - better burn them too (just not with candles, I suppose)[/li][li]Diabetes - Squid like demons attack ten parts of your body (Cthulhu is real!)[/li]Electronic Malfunction demons (heh, Office Space! “PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?!”)[/ul]

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Getting back to symptoms, everyone has some symptoms of DEMON activity INSIDE. It would be nice to say we did not have any demons, but only JESUS can and did make that statement (John 8:49 & 14:30). Do you have a temper? That’s a symptom! Do you eat too much? That’s a symptom! Do you lie? That’s a symptom! Almost anything that is going on in your being is the symptom of a DEMON. Yes, I said a DEMON. Remember, if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, etc., then call it what it is, a DUCK. Every time I tell someone about DELIVERANCE, they seem to be fine until you mention that word DEMON. Do you compromise the Word of God and not use the word DEMON because you don’t want to offend someone? If the true Agape Love of God is flowing in you, it is your duty to tell the truth and call it for what it is, a D-E-M-O-N. How can you be in the demon buster business if you call the duck a cat?

But… but… what if the duck is indeed a spawn-of-Satan cat??? :eek:

[Ale]

I think this should be reported to a mental institution; really, IMO this guy has a high probablility of snapping and doing harm to other people.

[Chimera]

It’s all true I say!

You start out with Candles, next thing you know you have heating in your home and cooked food!

Fire is Eeeeevvvvuuuullll!!!

It is hot and red. It must be a demon!

[Doomtrain]

*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy *
**But… but… what if the duck is indeed a spawn-of-Satan cat??? :eek: **

ALL cats are spawn-of-Satan. Didn’t Jesus say, “Someone get this damned cat offa me?!” I think so.

[elucidator]

*Originally posted by Ale *
**I think this should be reported to a mental institution; really, IMO this guy has a high probablility of snapping and doing harm to other people. **

Or, it could be part of the holy Zen of unintended consequences, that so much grim schizophrenia should provoke so much laughter…ain’t nothing more healthy than laughter, except maybe watching babies sleep…

a gift of the Ironic Buddha

Ommmmm
Ommmm
On the range…

[RedFury]

*Originally posted by vanilla *
**Hm.
I do believe there are demons and they can come in if you “invite” them by reading occult lit, or some such.
**

May I ask how these “demons” you believe in a-Manifest themselves and b-What form they take?

Of course, if they are of the flesh and blood variety, no further comment is needed as I am – unfortunately – well acquainted with them myself.

[Ale]

Unless the wacko one day looses his last marble and starts delivering deliverance one bullet at a time…

I´m not saying the fruitcake should be thrown into an asylum, just that it has to be watch over.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

a gift of the Ironic Buddha

Ommmmm
Ommmm
On the range…

elucidator, you are so going to fry:

“Recently the Lord told me to get rid of my 3 generation old game called MAH-JHONNG… This game has tiles made of ivory and bamboo or bakelite, that are hand carved in China and are demonized. My children said they felt like something was watching them or following them up the steps when they were in the basement, and I continued to bind and deal with a HUGE spirit of FEAR when I tried to pray in this same environment. The Lord exposed this DEMON and told me to get rid of MAH-JHONNG. I researched the game on the Internet and found through the “International League of Mah-Jhonng” in New York, that the spiritual aspect of this game is designed to WORSHIP BUDDHA! There are actually BUDDHA discs that accompany some of these games, mine didn’t. PRAISE GOD for HOUSECLEANING! I burned the game in an All-Church EPHESUS burning.”

Demons lurk everywhere!!!

The “DARK BLUE” POKEMON figure has a COIL on his belly. The COIL is the OPEN DOOR to the DEMONIC WITCHCRAFT attack being brought into homes. The COIL is also appearing on the BURGER KING sacks at present and I am seeing this COIL on many products in the store.

LAWRYS SEASON SALT has it! Isn’t this bizarre??? We were even in Red Lobster and the plates we were being served on, has the spiral COIL throughout the center and on the outside edge were 8 fish with spirals in their belly.

Uh, yeh, bizarre is one word… :rolleyes:

[Chefguy]

This must be why the number one rule at most convents is:
Lights out at ten, candles out by eleven.

[Polycarp]

*Originally posted by elucidator *
**Or, it could be part of the holy Zen of unintended consequences, that so much grim schizophrenia should provoke so much laughter…ain’t nothing more healthy than laughter, except maybe watching babies sleep…

a gift of the Ironic Buddha

Ommmmm
Ommmm
On the range… **

God bless Vespucciland!!

[Lissla_Lissar]

Looks around apartment, counts cats, stuffed toys, and candles

Hmm. I think we may have a problem. I always thought that stuffed duck was ominous.

What the hell? Candles? Stuffed toys?? Coils??!

Guin, this is exceptionally bad. I salute you.

[AncientHumanoid]

Damn!

Everytime I throw away my candles, a little stuffed toy frog with owl wings brings it back, lit of course. The candle, not the frog. On second thought, the frog does seems a little tight. Damn drunkard demon amphibians.

I can’t help but think that the site is one big joke and we’re all being wooshed. Who could possibly believe all that stuff and still function in modern society?

[Master_Wang-Ka]

…and every time I see something like this, I think about the argument I had with the guy who said that every time the Bible says “wine” it REALLY means “grape juice.”

…although this link may well take the place of that. Never knew that candles, paisley, and gift items from Pier One could be Satanic.

There is a difference between “faith” and “self-imposed insanity.”

And some of us don’t know that…

[Eve]

*Originally posted by vanilla *
I knew a lady who felt that if say your landlord came in, or relative,it was okay, that couldn’t be helped,but if you invited a Guy in and he had demons, well, it was your fault.

I only invite guys in if they have demons . . .

[IWLN]

I may be in trouble. Owls, frogs and unicorns are everywhere in my house, as are about 100 candles. I can’t stand to listen to songs about blood and I’ve been thinking it’s time I read a few Harry Potter books. I’ve also been thinking about getting a cat. I tried to get on the website guin linked to but it keeps freezing my computer up. Now the doors and window won’t open and the phone doesn’t work!!! Augh!! Could it be demons? :eek: Funny, StraightDope still works.

[county]

“The Real God of the universe, the Creator of Heaven and earth and Adam and Eve, sees all human beings the same, no matter what color or race. Being a racist would be a sin. Teaching racism would be a sin. If you don’t even believe in Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, racism is still wrong. There is no racism on our website, no matter what your demons have you thinking. Our website teaches about demons IN humans, not the humans themselves.”

A lot of you guys are posting what your demons want posted, not what you really want to post. (Me, I been demon-free for years)