You too can be possessed by demons!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

After reading a thread in the Pit, I was inspired to start this thread, at Lynn’s suggestion that someone start a point system for a website that Guinastasia brought to our attention.

How likely is it that you are beset with demons?
The higher your score, the more likely that your home is infested with demons. If your score is over 200, in all probability, it is too late for you.

Disclaimer: I do NOT actually believe this, I just thought it would be fun to put Lynn’s idea into action.

*1 point per candle, extra point if they are paisley or shaped like frogs, owls, shamrocks, or if they have symbols from “other” cultures/religions.

If you own paisley–

shirts 5 points
socks 1 point
ties 3 points
pants 5 points
cutains 10 points
bedsheets 20 points

*2 points if you have a horseshoe in your house for luck. As a matter of fact, 2 points for any symbols of luck in your home. 5 points if they are made from jade.

*1 point per Harry Potter book or store bought paraphenlia. 5 points if you saw the movies in the theater. 10 points per child if you took children. 20 points per DVD or VHS tape.

*3 points per doll or stuffed animal.

*10 points if it’s a Barbie.

*17 points per Troll doll.

1 point per rock ‘n’ roll song that can be played in your home.

5 points for death metal.

1 point per Book of Mormon or “books on other religions”, but 10 points for the satanic bible.

*10 points for items used in witchcraft.

6 points for any demons you have invited into your home.

20 points if you visit a witchdoctor for your ailments.

1 point for Lawry’s seasoned salt.

7 points for the possession of mah-jongg tiles.

3 points for owning birthstones.

10 points for dreamcatchers.

7 points for pictures of Guardian Angels. (with demonic faces in their wings)

5 points per perfume or cologne bottle you own.

1/2 point per Proctor and Gamble product (come on people, you already knew about Proctor and Gamble, I’ll not have you boosting your scores so easily!)
*Double your points if you’ve given any of these items out at Halloween. (In other words, if you gave someone a candle of an owl on Halloween, you get 4 points. 1 for the candle, one because it was an owl, and double that for giving it on Halloween.)
Happy counting!

~J

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  1. We have quite a few stuffed animals candles, Harry potter stuff, and a lot of rock music.
3

Dammit, I was doing so well up to the bit about rock and metal songs. And inviting a cabal of demons round wasn’t such a good move either.

4

*Originally posted by Jaade *
The higher your score, the more likely that your home is infested with demons. If your score is over 200, in all probability, it is too late for you.

*1 point per candle, extra point if they are paisley or shaped like frogs, owls, shamrocks, or if they have symbols from “other” cultures/religions.- 63

**If you own paisley–

ties 3 points**-6 [but they’re not mine!]
pants 5 points-10 [underwear, not mine!]
cutains 10 points60 [they were a gift!]
bedsheets 20 points20

*2 points if you have a horseshoe in your house for luck. As a matter of fact, 2 points for any symbols of luck in your home. 5 points if they are made from jade.-11

*3 points per doll or stuffed animal.-72

*10 points if it’s a Barbie.-10

*17 points per Troll doll.-34

1 point per rock ‘n’ roll song that can be played in your home.-200

5 points for death metal.-50

1 point per Book of Mormon or “books on other religions”, but 10 points for the satanic bible.-5

*10 points for items used in witchcraft.-20 [Taro cards, ouiji board, they were a gift!]

20 points if you visit a witchdoctor for your ailments.-20 [homeopathic?]

1 point for Lawry’s seasoned salt.-1 [this one I’m ashamed of]

7 points for the possession of mah-jongg tiles.-7

3 points for owning birthstones.-15

10 points for dreamcatchers.-20 [damn ethnic friends]

5 points per perfume or cologne bottle you own.-35

1/2 point per Proctor and Gamble product (come on people, you already knew about Proctor and Gamble, I’ll not have you boosting your scores so easily!)-7

TOTAL=666hmmm…Damn, my horoscope said I was going to have a good day. :eek:

5

Uh, I flunked math, but the only thing I think I don’t have are items used for wiccan practice (at least not intentionally) and the only demon I’ve ever invited 'round was the ex. I must be doomed to eternal something, but happiliy I believe I’m doomed to eternal growth in my spirituality. Sorry for the bummer, man.

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584 1/2…

I guesstimated on the stuffed animals and P&G products.

7

I figure with eight cats, there’s no need to count anything else. I’ve got more demons than you can shake a mah-jongg board at. :smiley:

8

Nonmusical score: 15. Musical addition: about 2,000.

But most of my possessions are in storage these days, so I am probably storing a good 200 points worth of demons elsewhere.

9

*Just put those old records on the shelf,
Get some demons and they’ll move by themself
Those evil demons will possess your soul,
Just like that old time 'a rock and roll!"

10

I stopped counting when i got to the music section, I probably have upwards of 2000 rock/metal tracks that can be played in my house.

Hmmmm, I wonder if there is any use I can put my demon hordes to? Can demons cook?

11

How do I score for the fact that Satan slept in bed between the wife and I every night for 5 years?

Satan was the nickname for a dog we once had. She was the most eeeeeeevil pup I ever knew.

12

vunderbob, they didn’t mention dogs…so unless Satan was on paisley sheets, I’m afraid she nets no points.

13

With Guessimating the songs… 782 and I’m probably way off (as in a lot less) because I don’t know how many songs I have.

14

They didn’t mention computer porn, either, but if it counts, I’m into 5 figures on that and ripped music alone. And that’s BEFORE I go looking for paisleys, Barbie dolls, or candles.

15

Oh god, I’d be way off the chart-I couldn’t begin to count all my dolls and stuffed animals!

I have two paisley blouses-very beautiful paisley blouses.

And what if your stuffed animals are things like frogs and unicorns? Does that count twice?

Harry Potter…oh man…

I don’t even want to start counting!

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That link you posted has to be one of the coolest sites of all time! I’ve chased away (and invited in) demons a few times before, mostly through trial-and-error. To have documented, proven techniques available though is invaluable. Thanks a bunch! I start cleaning house tomorrow.

17

Well, I’m screwed. That would net me over 10,000 points.

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*1 point per candle: About 20.
*As a matter of fact, 2 points for any symbols of luck in your home: I have a lucky lemon with colored pins in it. All kinds of pagan. How many points for that?

*5 points if you saw the movies in the theater: I saw both movies in the theatre. So, 10?

*3 points per doll or stuffed animal: One penguin in my apt. About 10 in my car (people give me stuffed animals and squeeky things as gifts). If the ones in my car count, about 33.

1 point per rock ‘n’ roll song that can be played in your home: Well, I have about 100 rock CDs, averaging 12 songs per CD. So . . . 1,200 points? Wow.

1 point per Book of Mormon or “books on other religions”, but 10 points for the satanic bible: 3 Voodoo books, 3 herbalism books, 1 City Magic book, 1 oils and incense book, 2 Anton LeVay books, 1 book on the “Dark Arts,” 1 book on religions of the word, 1 book that deals heavilt with animism. What kind of points do I get for those?

*10 points for items used in witchcraft: About 20 bags of herbs, morter and pestal (sp?), altar, witch’s salt, little wrought iron bowl thing with legs for burning things, and Holy Water (does HW count if used for “witchcraft”?)

1 point for Lawry’s seasoned salt: 1 pkg Lawry’s s’getti sauce.

5 points per perfume or cologne bottle you own: 5= 25 points.

Wow. I’m going to Hell based purely on my musical tastes.

19

looks around We’ve got candles (lots, at least 30), gargoyles, faeries, gnomes, Harry Potter books, a Harry Potter fanfiction book (given not bought no profit made), a Witches Almanac, a rainstick, a broom painted with suns and stars, a green man on the wall, lots of Nightmare before Christmas, a couple of dreamcatchers, couple of horseshoes, various spice jars labeled “eye of newt” and “wing of bat”, a container of glittery goo labeled “wizard staff polish”…it’s a wonder we can walk for all the demons.

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**
1 point per candle, extra point if they are paisley or shaped like frogs, owls, shamrocks, or if they have symbols from “other” cultures/religions.*

3 points

**If you own paisley–

shirts 5 points
socks 1 point
ties 3 points
pants 5 points
cutains 10 points
bedsheets 20 points **

0 points

*2 points if you have a horseshoe in your house for luck. As a matter of fact, 2 points for any symbols of luck in your home. 5 points if they are made from jade.

0 points

*1 point per Harry Potter book or store bought paraphenlia. 5 points if you saw the movies in the theater. 10 points per child if you took children. 20 points per DVD or VHS tape.

52 ponts

*3 points per doll or stuffed animal.

3 points (if cat toys count, then another 9 points. I’m not counting them though).

1 point per rock ‘n’ roll song that can be played in your home.

I’ll add in 200 points for this, but I bet it’s higher.

1 point per Book of Mormon or “books on other religions”, but 10 points for the satanic bible.

1 point

**10 points for items used in witchcraft.

6 points for any demons you have invited into your home.

20 points if you visit a witchdoctor for your ailments.

1 point for Lawry’s seasoned salt.

7 points for the possession of mah-jongg tiles.

3 points for owning birthstones.

10 points for dreamcatchers.

7 points for pictures of Guardian Angels. (with demonic faces in their wings)**

0 points for all of these combined

5 points per perfume or cologne bottle you own.

10 points

1/2 point per Proctor and Gamble product (come on people, you already knew about Proctor and Gamble, I’ll not have you boosting your scores so easily!)

I’d bet there are between 5-10 here, but I’m not positive. I’ll go with 8 and add 4 points here.
273. I could be…hmm.