These guys make Jack Chick look rational.
shaking head
Oh dear Og. I… Just… I… I… It’s just so…
I think I need a hug.
I am throwing away all my candles NOW. :eek:
Fortunately, I recently purchased the Maytag Quiet Series 300 Demonwasher. With Maytag, washing demons is a breeze.
So, uhm, Guin, just what exactly led you to that page?
END-TIME DELIVERANCE MINISTRY
DELIVERANCE MANUAL
Anybody else hearing banjo music?
That guy is a bit behind the times. US regulators voted to ban the use of lead in candle wicks in 2001. Took 'em nearly 30 years to do it though.
I was reading a funny site about Harry Potter and trying out the spells (a parody), and it mentioned this site.
Pretty weird, eh?
Dijon Warlock, shit I never thought of that! “Squeal like a piggy for JAYZUS!!!”
Wow… for our anniversary last year, my wife and I bought each other two sconces and half a dozen floating candles for our bedroom wall. Just before Christmas we picked up a fireplace candleabra with 12 new candles, and last night (my birthday) we bought two more sconces for either the bathroom or the living room.
We are so damned.
Ooooooo, maybe I’ll attract a succubus. lights apple spice scented candle
HARRY POTTER IS TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN SATANISM AND WITCHCRAFT!!!
No need, indeed. Guin, you are SO LOST. Your only salvation is DELIVERANCE!
But how exactly are we supposed to cast these demons out?
Bell? Check
Book? Check
Candle? Um, I’ve got a “scrub pad”. Will that do?
Or is it “Get thee behing me, Satan. And don’t even think about using that candle for immoral purposes while you’re there”?
Glad I didn’t hear about this before the Christmas Eve midnight service. It would have been really dark.
From the site:
Obviously demons have good taste.
Again, I’m amazed that these people are walking around without supervision. I guess I’m especially demon-haunted, because in my room alone I have one or two dozen owl items, plus more that are packed away. I even use owl licons in my LiveJournal. I must be especially demonic.
Wow. I guess I really AM evil, just like people have been saying for years.
They didn’t make you Mistress of the Pit for nothing, you know.
Wow, what a site! I swear, I kept looking for the wink, the subtle smiley that said “DAMN! Ain’t this the best put-on you’ve ever seen!”
But it ain’t there.
A mad scientist somewhere has mixed the genetic structure of Cotton Mather and Stephen King.
Looks like these guys (probably just guy, I can’t believe there is more than one person this wacko) like to buy into conspiracy theories whether there’s a religious angle or not:
It’s…it’s…it’s like the black helicopter guys and Jack Chick had a secret fundie love child!
Why? How many demon-busting bluegrass tunes can you name? :rolleyes: They’re from Montgomery Alabama, hardly a banjo haven…
The site is pretty scary, though. This is my “favorite” part, from the homepage:
<shudder> (bolding mine)
Just for shits and giggles I searched google for Stan and Elizabeth Madrak, the couple that run the site. Four pages. Dang.
Bad fingers. Don’t type the words. Arggghhhhh…
Ahem.
Always the last to know, I’ve been told, meself…
RE: OP
Glory! Finally an answer.
Candle sales are through the roof.
Candles are demonic.
More and more people are acting like they are possessed.
They are possessed.
Now I know. What a relief. I thought it was just me.
Hm.
I do believe there are demons and they can come in if you “invite” them by reading occult lit, or some such.
However
all you need is the name of Jesus, I don’t know what they are talking about “dried on”.
!
I thought Cascade was for that.
I will have to go check this cite out;it makes the fundies I’ve known seem tame by comparison.
I knew a lady who felt that if say your landlord came in, or relative,it was okay, that couldn’t be helped,but if you invited a Guy in and he had demons, well, it was your fault.
Icke talks about owls and sun symbols as being evil also!