So I’m sure everyone agrees that in college people hook up left and right. I guess I just wanted to ask for you adults out there, especially in your 30’s and 40’s, how does casual sex change when you become an adult? Does it become easier or harder to find attractive people who want to hook up? If you miss out in your youth is it possible to make up for it when you’re older?
The internet.
I would say it’s somewhat harder but not a lot. Would be better if I dropped 20 pounds and such. I’m also not looking for it as often since I settled into adult life routines and am in an open marriage so my go get a casual fuck time has reduced significantly over the 20 years since I was college aged.
I think that depends on the individual. I’ll have to tell you that if for the most part you’re referring to one night stands - it is not always that great, IMO. When I was in my early 20s and having “casual sex,” I often thought afterwards - I could’ve been left more satisfied solo. It’s awkward sometimes the first time you’re with someone. In my experience sex gets much much better as you get to know your lover. With that said, you can have casual sex over and over again with the same partner, but if making up (as in #of partners) is what you’re after, then keep in mind that *sometimes it is not as fun as it’s made out to be. OK, dopers, go for it! You can contradict me if you like. By the way, I was in my 20s - in the early 80s - when we first started hearing about AIDS/HIV. It pretty much put a stop to it for me.
Don’t Do it!!! Abstain! Abstain!
Save yourself! Run…!
I appear to have missed that.
no change for me. it didn’t exist in college, and it doesn’t exist now.
seriously, how old are you? every single one of your posts here are about getting laid.
Improved much after college, however I attribute it more to my own process of self discovery, learning and knowing who I am, then the opportunities.
Whenever anyone says “I’m sure everyone agrees…” I get skeptical, especially when the statement doesn’t match my own personal experience or perceptions. So I did a little googling to see if there are any cites for or against this claim.
A couple of the top cites claim that “Casual Sex Rare Among College Students, But Correlated With Anxiety”
Hoever, this study defined casual sex more narrowly than I would have, as “intercourse with someone the student had known for less than a week.”
A different article claims Casual Sex Common Among College Students, Though Meaning of Term Varies." This article reports on a survey that found that “Fifty four percent of participants reported having participated in a sexual hookup during the school year.” It also noted that
And an article called “The Truth About College Students and Casual Sex Revealed” reports on studies that suggest that the levels of casual sex among college students have remained fairly constant in recent decades.
And both the second article I linked above and this Psychology Today article note the connection between heavy drinking and casual hookups. Maybe that means if you want to have a lot of casual sex, you should hang around with people who drink a lot.
Rule #1 is that if you are hoping for an ongoing open sexual relationship, you gotta bring that shit. A woman who only wants sex ain’t gonna deal with someone who isn’t very good at porking.
Rule #2 is that only a small percentage of women would be cool with sex outside of a committed relationship.
Rule #3 is that you should seriously focus on finding a nice girl and enjoying your time together. Casual sex is the last of your priorities.
OP is 16 years old and thinks he’s a baller
You never fail to surprise me, brother 'bean. I wouldn’t have expected #3 out of you. You’re probably wrong about #2, and totally right about #1.
As for the OP’s question, it is very easy to get lots of casual sex when you’re in your 30s and 40s. To quote the great philosopher upthread, “the internet.”
Add me to the list of those who question the first sentence of the original post. Maybe there are college students who “hook up”, but I went through college and grad school without meeting anyone who claimed to do so, or hearing anyone reported to do so. All evidence I’ve seen suggests that most college students either abstain from sex, or have sex with only their long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.
I think the notion that modern college campuses feature nonstop Bacchanalia, with student hurling themselves at each other five minutes after starting freshman year, can be traced to (primarily male) journalists and Hollywood screenwriters writing out their fantasy life.
Are you taking Viagra?
Never had casual sex in college. Don’t think I ever had a girl even speak to me. I did have a GF 3+ years of that, though, and we had a lot of sex. I wouldn’t have even known how to find casual sex at the time. So for me, this whole idea of wild sex in college never happened.
As I got older the opportunities grew, but I did not partake. I definitely got a lot more attention and interest, possibly because I’m not the type of person who peaked in high school and I might look like I care about myself and health and that sort of thing. I feel like if I wanted to now (in my mid 30s) I could go just about anywhere (or use any sort of online dating app) and get it pretty easily. It would have been a lot more difficult for me in school then or now.
Casual sex in college? I wish! I was an engineering major. Sex was not on the table. (or the bed, or the back seat, or anywhere else)
*After *college, well, I was making good money and owned my own home and car… MUCH more successful in the hookup department. So, I guess I am rejecting the premise of the OP.
You mean we’re supposed to look at them, and not just the top of their heads?
I’m surprised by some of these responses. I had three (male) roommates in a townhouse the first year I was in grad school. All undergrads (sophomore, junior and senior). There was a parade of young women through their rooms all through the year.
I came down for breakfast on the first Sunday and there were clothes strewn on the living room floor (no undergarments, thankfully). I picked them up and put them on the ottoman. First one, then another woman came down, claimed her garments and returned upstairs.
As someone who had just come from Pakistan, this was quite surprising to me. I had previously thought this only happened in the movies. I just sat there with my eggs, tea and toast, said good morning to the rather sheepish ladies, and tried not to look disapproving or shocked.
I had different roommates the next year and no one except one guy’s girlfriend ever came through. He was the only American though. The others, like me were foreign grad students (from Peru and Indonesia).
This is all 25+ years ago. The AIDS panic was on. I’m surprised to see that my experience was not typical at all, or perhaps things have calmed down a bit in the last two decades.
I think the average college experience is somewhere in the middle. It’s true that most people’s college sex lives are not as wild and crazy as popular culture would have us believe. Most of the people I hung out with preferred to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but would certainly do the random party hookup thing when they were in between relationships.
These are some smart words. Most people I know feel hollow after a one off. People want to feel needed, loved. A relationship provides that. Learn about your lover, grow together. Build excitement. Need a fast release? Have a tug. I’ve never been behind the idea of being intimate with a stranger. Ever. More opportunities than I deserve. Never submitted to temptation though. Actually, it’s not tempting. I’m not saying I’m Mr. Morals. It doesn’t give me what I want. It’s like junk food. Empty calories. I prefer something with more substance. To each their own though.
I believe this is the most incorrect thing I’ve ever read on the internet.
Good: Older adults tend not to beat around the bush. If they want to hook up, it’s probably going to happen sans the games I remember having to play when I was younger.
Bad: If you drink too much, you’re not going to be having any sex that night. And even if you can manage it, it probably isn’t going to be all that great.
YMMV.