My tomcat sees fit to reward me for each feeding by returning into the room and brushing up against my legs just long enough to emanate one of his richest fugs.
I’ve mentioned before how Piewacket the cat’s odious gifts are mentioned in several different places by the Geneva Convention. Tonight was no exception and I’ve come to the inescapable conclusion that dog farts can’t hold a candle to the regurgitative power of cat poots.
Arguments can carry on all week about the relative merits of feline and canine intelligence, but cat farts rule the day (in a most unfortunate fashion, I might add).
Sorry for sharing but this last little “reward” was just a bit much.
On a side note, why are pet farts so often SBDs? If I don’t concentrate on making my farts silent, they’ll make noise. So dogs and cats must either make an effort to keep silent so as not to alert nearby predators (at least, those that can stand the smell) or they have differently constructed sphincters.
Am I weird for lying awake at night thinking of these things?
Just be glad that the cat is rubbing against your leg when he poots. My cat enjoyed waiting until the middle of the night to jumping on my pillow and toot in my face.
The buttocks don’t cause the noise. And calling that a ‘wild-ass’ guess incites disturbing mental images.
There’s definitely an evolutionary advantage for a cat staying silent, and they already know about staying downwind of prey.
I just wonder how we ended up with the evolutionary defense of loud farts. We missed out on good claws, fangs, speed, tough outer covering, but we got loud, not-so-stinky farts?
Dog farts are not always silent - used to have a 140 pound Doberman who would let one go, then look around like, “who did that?” Thank God they weren’t silent - we had 3 seconds to run like mad out of the room.
Not all of them are SBDs. I cracked up last night at my older cat because she was walking through the living room, and all of a sudden, I heard this hesitant little fart come out of her rear end - and she turned around and looked at her butt like “What the hell was that?”. Of course it was a precursor to a loss of control, but at the moment, it was rather funny. I don’t think she’s ever had a fart make noise before so it scared her.
Our dogs have the winning ticket on smelly farts. Our poodle let a fart in front of a flower and it nearly wilted the poor thing. As for me I left the room running. I wasn’t sticking around to find out.
We have one dog who is a MASTER of SBD farts if he’s been eating ANY type of dairy product. I’ve seen Papa Tiger stumble from the room, eyes streaming, from the glorious effects of one of his better efforts.
OTOH, I’ve had cats all my life and have yet to smell a cat fart.
My dog Sasser and my parents dog Jacque were laying on the couch. Sasser let one rip which was a stinker. Jacque sat up and got nose to nose with Sasser and just growled. It was the equivalence of “Don’t do that again or I will kill you”. So obviously my dog’s gas is even noxious to other dogs.
It must be something they put in the catfood that makes them so noxious. cue stinky face smilie here I swear to god, IAMS puts something in the dry food that makes our cats have farts/poop that is so foul, it will make the paint peel (which is why, after 2 years we have no paint in the bathroom anymore).
Our new kitten, from the day we got him in mid-December, had intestinal issues out the…ying-yang.
Only poops would be diarrhea, and you could tell when he was taking a dump. The smell and the YOWLing that emanated from the bathroom was enough to make the dead rise.
But when he wasn’t diarrhea-ing, he was sitting in the living room, or frolicking through the apartment, lettin’ toots fly every time he bounced. During one 1-hour television show, we had to leave the room 4 times. And every time we’d come back, he’d be sitting there, a beatific expression on his face: “Why do you guys keep leaving like that? It’s not me, is it?” Stinky l’il bastard.
Funny enough, it was a vet-prescribed IAMS product that finally plugged him up. Goes to show each cat’s different.
I’ve heard my dog fart…unfortunately I smelled it too. My cats must be stealth farters. I’m rarely subjected to their gas torture.
BTW: Just about all the posts in this thread made me laugh. Thanks for starting my day with a giggle.
Indeed, our experience with IAMS mirrors Aguecheek’s. When we finally switched our cats to a completely dry food diet, cleaning the litter boxes (no more or less frequently then usual) suddenly became possible without the use of a gas mask.
<George Carlin> “Who farted? I didn’t fart. Are you sure you didn’t fart? I coulda sworn it came from you. Wait, I know who farted–The dog farted! I seen his asshole open up!”
They say my cats can stink, but I don’t notice it.
I’ll freely confess that this particular thread inspired what you are reading here. However, it is with a tinge of pride that I ran across this old howler of mine in the same search. If someone wants to start a Vol II, I’ll chip in a complete screamer (story that is).