Quite a few Catholic Churches have dispensed with kneelers - it was a 1970s modernization thing. On the other hand, you can find a few that still do Latin Mass and find the liberalization of the Catholic Church disturbing.
The idea with attending any religious ceremony that isn’t your own is to fit in without doing anything offensive. Sitting quietly counts as fitting in (there are lots of Catholics whose bad knees mean they don’t kneel). And not walking up for communion is fine. If you have questions, ask the couple, the couple’s parents or the officiant what is appropriate for someone not of that faith to do. Decent people are going to take any well meaning effort as intended - and non-decent people aren’t worth worrying about.
Then I would advise staying out of Anglican churches, where genuflecting occurs, even though the Anglican tradition does not believe in transubstantiation. While it is by no means universal, it is not at all unusual.
Until this post, I didn’t realize that the kneeling had something to do with the Body of Christ.
In church services, protestants generally don’t kneel. Outside of church services, kneeling to pray is not uncommon. I know I’ve been in groups where the tradition was praying on your knees before God. I had assumed that Catholics kneeling in church was a version of that practice, not that it was specifically tied to communion.
I was Christened, but wasn’t a CofE churchgoer. I’ve mentioned a few times that it was only when I was ten that I discovered my religion was CofE rather than what I’d always misheard as COV.
It’s not kneeling to pray - it’s going down on one knee (like in a marriage proposal) or bowing, either body or head, done towards the altar or the church’s main inside cross. But it’s still not unique to Catholics; for Catholics, it might well be about transubstantiation, but for others it’s about showing deference to God and the church.
The usual priest at the church where the wedding is performed is like this. The wedding was performed by the groom’s family’s priest, but in the church where he lives (apparently other priests have “visiting rights” to each other’s churches with clearance and all, which I assume is the same in Protestant churches). The official explanation was “we’re using this priest because he’s an old friend, but since most of the guests are coming from locally [i.e. where the groom now lives] we’ll use this church, with no offense to the church’s actual priest”, and there was truth in that, but also true is that the groom, and for that matter much of the congregation, really doesn’t like the regular priest who is very old and very old-school. He preaches strongly against living together out of wedlock, homosexuality, masturbation, divorce-remarriage, etc., and while all of these are standard Catholic positions he apparently is more hard core and hellfire/damnation than most modern priests to the extent that many of the more liberal and the younger parishioners, and even some who may agree with him but are uncomfortable having to explain what masturbation is to their 9 year old son after one of the sermons, have become increasingly absentee. The congregation is basically waiting for him to die or retire.
Genuflecting is going down on one knee only. In Catholicism it is done not towards the altar but towards and if you happen to walk in front of the Body of Christ for reasons other than having Communion. If the Body is in a different location than behind the altar (such as exposed during the Feast of Corpus Christi), or if there are no consecrated Hosts present (the candle is not lit), you’re supposed to genuflect to the actual location or not genuflect respectively.
Being Jewish, I don’t kneel when attending Catholic ceremonies because it would go against my cultural grain to bow down to any deity at all, especially one which isn’t my own (even though I’m an atheist, my religious values still go back to my childhood).
Likewise, it would never strike me to take communion, sing psalms or receive a blessing, even if it was offered. I will on the other hand show any form of respect which doesn’t imply me actively taking part of the ceremony, so I’ll stand and sit with the rest of them.
It’s the Body of Christ whether it’s transubstantiation or consubstantiation. And what would tell me there is something wrong is seeing someone who doesn’t know how to genuflect try to do it.
It’s like when I dated dudes who’d open doors for their date - but only for their date. They had no idea how to do it. When someone I’m on a date with who tries to open a door for me doesn’t know how to do it, it doesn’t make me think “oh, how nice”, it makes me think “ok, dude never opens the door for anybody he’s not trying to fuck, how rude.” Seeing someone try to genuflect without knowing how to tells me he’s doing it out of imitation, for no other reason than to try to look good - and to me, he’s failing.
Since I don’t subscribe to any of the organized religious orders, I do nothing other than sit quietly and let things happen around me. I stand when the bride enters, as it’s a tradition to do so. When having dinner at somebody’s house where they say grace, I don’t bow my head, nor fold my hands, nor say ‘amen’, as it would be hypocritical for me to do so. I don’t make a big deal out of it, and nobody seems to notice or care. Bottom line: you are not obligated to perform rituals that are not part of your belief system. It shouldn’t be uncomfortable for you, if you are secure in your religious views.
Genuflecting is that curtsy bob thing that Catholics do - often simultaneously making the sign of the cross. There isn’t necessarily a formal time for genuflecting any longer - at least not in U.S. congregations. Its pretty normal to do it towards the alter (crucifix), when entering and leaving your pew. Its the same sort of bob you did to your monarch or liege lord - with, not surprisingly, the same sort of purpose.
I’m an atheist who was raised Protestant, but I just do what everyone else is doing every time I find myself in a group of people performing some sort of religious rite (oddly common in my life actually). The gestures don’t mean anything to me personally and I find religions interesting, so why not. I suppose there are those who would find it offensive that I am aping the gestures of true believers, but I don’t really care since I’ve had fun doing what the Catholics, Jews, Buddhists and Hindus do.
Frankly, I think you should kneel if you can. During the Introductory Rites (“Thanks for coming, everyone”) and Liturgy of the Word (“This is what the Bible says. Let’s pray now, too.”), you stand and sit. There’s no kneeling. But when you go to the Liturgy of the Eucharist (“We will now thank Jesus and prepare to consume his body.”) there is no sitting. It’s just standing and kneeling.
Why? Because the Body is exposed. It’s present and visible. That’s the reason for the kneeling. So to sit down while the tabernacle is open is to disrespect the Catholic tradition of transubstantiation.
So if you were a healthy non-Catholic that I’d brought to mass, I’d expect you to kneel with me.
Many Catholics haven’t grasped this notion completely. After Communion, everyone knows that we’re supposed to kneel and pray. But not everyone knows when they should resume a seated position.
Some people seem to think that they should remain kneeling until the priest himself sits down. (I’ve actually gotten admonishing looks when I’ve sat down before the priest. They must think that he’s a VERY important person. :))
Others think that they should remain kneeling until the music is over. (Though I can see that common courtesy might be applicable here.)
And still others seem to think that if a lay person returns the consecreated Body to the tabernacle, they should remain kneeling until the priest stands for the final blessing.
The correct answer, of course, is that we can return to a seated position once the tabernacle door closes.
I’ve never been to a Catholic wedding, but I was at a Catholic funeral a few years ago. I didn’t kneel (there were plenty of people not kneeling so I just did what they did), but did stand when everyone else did. But even though I am an atheist, one thing about the service left me feeling odd and even slightly uncomfortable: the fact that my head was uncovered. Isn’t that amazing? It has been about 60 years since I attended synagogue services, but the reflex, cover your head in a religious ceremony, still hangs on.
