Certain things are entirely wasted on most women. This, Super Bowl tickets, Cheap Beer and Hot Wing specials, Most Michael Bay and Jerry Bruskheimer films…its just a damn shame.
Well, this sounds like it belongs in the “Dear Penthouse Forum” thread, but here goes…
There’s a place in Talequah, OK called Goat’s Bluff–just across the river from the infamous Elohim compound that Timothy McVeigh stayed at. Anyhow, the shape of this bluff is somewhat like a capital E; you drive up to the top level, and as you walk your way down the trail, there’s an outcropping that goes on for a ways, and another kind of indentation before you get to the Illinois River. Great spot for parties, and popular with rappellers.
Anyhow, it’s, I dunno, midnight or so? Girlfriend and I go off from the bonfire on the top of the E to the middle line area. Well, one thing leads to another, and pretty soon she’s leaning on the wall, etc.
Well, my lily-white ass, untouched by sun, is pumping away, and she says, “Shit!” I look up and see a nice circle of light on the wall, and immediately grab the pants around my ankles and turn around. Fortunately, the guy doing the nighttime Ozzie rappel down the cliff was nice enough to pretend he hadn’t seen anything.
And to hell with the OP–can anyone top getting spotted by someone hanging from a rope upside-down at midnight in rural Oklahoma?
Stof
I’ve been rappelling at Goat’s Bluff quite a few times, alas, I never saw anything quite so interesting on the way down. I guess I’ll have to go back to Talequah instead of going out to Red Rock Canyon from now on, eh?
BTW, what were you doing in Talequah? NEO?
The Better Half and I honeymooned at a family reunion (mine) out at the ancestral farm, camping out because the house was full, sleeping in the back of a 1969 Chevy Suburban parked next to the ancestral barn (ancestral outhouse in back, the real McCoy).
That night, in the pitch-black country darkness (no darkness quite like rural darkness), at a certain point in the proceedings (ahem) in the back of the Suburban, there was a shy tapping on one of the windows. Propping himself up on an elbow, the Better Half called, “Yes?”
My grandmother called, “Are you in there?”
We said, “Um, yes…”
She said, “I just wanted to let you know that the privy is out behind the barn, thataway.”
We said, “Um, okayyyy…”
“Good night,” she said cheerfully.
We said, “Um, good night…”
[sub]yeah, yeah, I know–pretty tame stuff, no humping and pumping, but there WAS a lily-white ass in evidence, although it was too dark to see it[/sub]
You know, we must be losing our edge. A thread like this would normally have made it to at least 75 posts before plummetting to page 2. Even the page views aren’t that high. Are we getting old?
I blame justin, he put too damn many restrictions on this puppy.
First the background to my story:
Mrs. Dragwyr and I are on our honeymoon. We are staying at the Horton Grand Hotel in San Diego and it is July 2. Our room has a gas-log fire place. She decided she wanted to… ah… be romantic on the floor in front of the fire place while it was on. Well, being San Diego in July, it is quite warm outside, even at 10:00 PM, so we open the window to offset the heat from the fireplace. As we were doing what newlyweds normally do, we hear fireworks going off in the distance and both of us start cracking up (You know the stereotypical view of sex being like fireworks and all that).
Fast foward to the next year:
Mrs. Dragwyr and I are on a camping trip with my best friend, B and his girlfriend. As we are setting up our tents, we tell them of our experience in San Diego and they have a good laugh at it. That night, Mrs. Dragwyr and I are doing what married couples usually do in our tent, when we hear a huge firecracker (more like an M-80) go off. It is all we can do to keep from laughing out loud so that B and his GF won’t hear us. Suddenly we hear B say from his tent, “All right, what are you two doing over there?” At that point, Mrs. Dragwyr and I couldn’t hold it back any more and started loudly laughing it up. We knew we were caught, but it was so incredibly funny that we didn’t care.
I’ve been cought too many times. Not enough fear, or too much lust, perhaps?
Story One:
GF and I are seniors in HS. I’m at my GF’s house, it’s late, we’re tipsy, her folks are out on a late night diner-n-dance date. Pretty soon, GF and I are ‘engaged’ on the living room floor. We finish up, she goes to bed, I go home. Later that morning (about 8-ish), I go back to GF’s house for breakfast. While we’re eating, GF’s mom comes in the kitchen, makes a cup of coffee, and on the way out the door kills us with this line: “You guys really oughta take it upstairs. I almost stepped on you last night.” Then she walked out. We finished our breakfast in horrified silence. We never heard another word on the subject, but then we never got ‘busy’ at her house again, either.
Story Two:
Just after HS, different GF, we’re in the woods at a local park, behind some tall bushes just off one of the trails. We’ve been at it the better part of the afternoon (Young lust! No skills, but all the stamina you’ll ever want!), snickering at the people walking by on the path just a couple of yards away. If only they knew what was going on so near-by! Well, the bit that belongs in here came when in mid-afternoon, as my GF is riding me like cowgirl on speed, a small group of faces appears above the bushes. That’s right, a group of horse-riders was using the trail, and the added height gave them a grand view of the proceedings. I froze, couldn’t even speak. GF didn’t even notice until they were riding away.
Last story (that I’m not too embarassed to tell):
Same GF as in Story Two, about three months later. We’re parked in a cul-de-sack at the back of a housing project under construction, my GF giving me enthusiastic head, when I look up to see the fatal sight of a Sheriff’s cruiser pop over the rise, lights flashing. Again, GF doesn’t notice at first, and I’m not thinking clearly enough to get her attention right away. Then, it gets worse. The deputy that gets out of the cruiser is a friend of mine, and brother to my boss. By this point I’ve got GF’s attention, and she’s sitting up, but it’s way too late. Deputy-buddy has seen everything. Turns out that the development had some people living in it already, and they called the sheriff on the “drug-smoking, booze-swilling punks” that like to hangout where we parked. (actually, those activities were secondary. The spot had been a favorite make-out spot for some time) I still haven’t lived that one down.
I’ve been caught a few times but, like Tranquilis I have too much lust and not enough fear.
I had a party at my house one night after the bars closed and everyone’s sitting around drinking and having a good time and my then boyfriend is giving me the eye. He headed for the bathroom and I waited a few minutes and then followed. (We opted for the bathroom because I had a studio and it was the only room with a door!) We started doing our thing and apparently everyone in the apartment could hear us. We heard a few giggles and people asking, “What the f**k are they doing in there?” but that was it. We were only gone 15-20 minutes and when we came back to the party everyone started clapping and gave us a standing ovation. My friends still give me shit about that for some reason.
My ex-boyfriend and I were caught having sex in the back of his aunt and uncle’s van. It was his uncle who caught us actually. We were on vacation with his family and we slept in the back of the van under a street light by our cabin. It was late at night and we thought everyone was asleep in the cabin. I’m riding my boyfriend and I look out the window and see his uncle on the balcony of the cabin smoking a cigarette!! The way the light was shining you could see through the window too. I’m sure his uncle caught an eyeful!
My boyfriend (a different one than above) and I got caught in his car once. We parked at one of the town’s favorite make-out spots and the cops saw us. We were told to leave and that’s it… didn’t get to finish or anything. The same boyfriend and I were also caught in his bedroom by his little sister. She walked in while we were going at it, laughed and walked back out. She had walked in on us so many times you think she would’ve learned to knock whenever I was at the house.
You know, it’s really sick when something embarassing happens, and your first reaction is “Ooh!! There was a thread about this the other day! Now I can reply!” Seriously obsessed…
Last night I was in my round 2 of going at it (2 guys, 1 night…I’m such a player…)on my living room couch with Scott. My mom knew he was here, but as far as she knows, we’re just friends. At least that way she doesn’t object to him spending the night…
He’s on the couch, i was on top of him, we were both naked. We get our rhythym going, the couch is creaking, the coffee table’s shaking…in our lust, we didn’t realize exactly how loud we were being. Plus the TV was still on. My little sister got up to go to the bathroom, heard the noise, and peeked in. Man, did she get an eyeful…she’s 17, so at least she’s not gonna be TOO distrurbed by it…nothing you don’t see walking the back way at schoool…but still. Pretty embarassing.
Too many stories… the best one, though, is when I was caught just after the act 
Then-BF and I were staying at an interstate friend’s house for a few nights. After a rather long and steamy lovemaking session one morning (which included me giving him head) we got up and I greeted the friend with a big, flirty, good-morning kiss on the lips.
I couldn’t work out why it took the friend so long to look me in the eyes without blushing. It took him another couple of years to tell me that he could taste on my breath exactly what the BF and I had been up to…
blush
Spent the drunkest two years of my life there. Lived in a duplex about 1/8 mile from one of the river landings (off 10? I think that was it–hell, it’s been more than 15 years). Been to Red Rock too–the rappelling’s better.
Fourteen years ago.
It was the summer my sister got married so both families went on vacation together. I had a major crush on my brother-in-law to be’s younger brother. We had been getting increasingly flirty.
One night, after everyone else had gone to bed, things got steamy. We went from watching tv on the couch, to making out, to him going down on me as I tried to be quiet.
Then my grandmother comes out of her bedroom to get a drink of water. She walks across the living room as we both freeze. When she gets in the bathroom, he hopped back up on the couch and I threw a blanket over my legs. Thank god she was too tired to notice anything.
And as soon as she went back into her room, we picked right back up from where we stopped.
25 years ago I had a girlfriend that I really liked but we had divergent schedules. I was a staffer on the Udall for President campaign (2nd in 7 straight primaries!) and I’d try to come home from the state I was in on weekends and possibly days after primaries (because I’d be traveling anyways). However, her job as a manager at a store often led to working weekends. We loved eachother desperately, and we wanted to hook up big time. Once I was home for the weekend and she was working at the store (did I mention it was a clothes store?) and it was the middle of a very busy shopping day. We hadn’t had sex in about a month, so we decided to do it in one of the dressing room stalls. We went into the womens one, because it was bigger, and tried to be as silent as possible. Of course, we failed at this venture, and her boss started banging on the door while we scrambled to put our clothes on. Too late. He broke it open with both of us half-dressed and she was promptly dismissed. At least I didn’t have a girlfriend forcing me to come home on weekends anymore. I also lost all desire to join the mile high club after this.
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I had traveled 1800 miles to visit my then-girlfriend. We excused ourselves to watch a movie in her bedroom, and ended up getting distracted. Eventually we were under the covers, writhing and making out, with me on top of her and my hand down her pants… when her mom walked in and said “You guys better cool it down.” Luckily we didn’t hear another word about it.
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I was at a party hosted by an ex-girlfriend. After consuming alcohol and party herbs all night, we snuck up to her bedroom but neglected to lock the door. While she was going down on me, the rest of the partygoers (unaware that we were in there) decided to walk through her room to get to the roof. No one said a thing, but they all saw what was going on.
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Just the other day, I was with a girl in my parked car on a remote mountain road. We chose that spot because no one ever went up there, or so we thought… first a hiker walked past, but he didn’t see anything. Then an older man drove up and pulled over next to my car. He looked into my car, saw her head in my lap, and gave me a smile and a thumbs-up.
Embarrassed and confused, I nodded, gave him a thumbs-up in return, and waved goodbye. But he didn’t leave, he just pulled back in front of my car, facing us. By this time my companion was sitting up and we were both staring at the guy, but he just kept smiling and wouldn’t move. I finally started my engine and he drove off.
Don’t they always?
I can’t figure it out. In college, I went on a camping trip with the club I was in, and I brought my girlfriend along (she wasn’t a member).
We had sex, in private, in our own tent, and still everybody gave us shit about it the following morning.
I figured at the time that it must be a feminist thing. The most vociferous amongst the complainers were two women who apparently weren’t getting enough; everybody else was pretty much doing the “gentle ribbing” thing.
Was I too quick to write that off? Is there a deeper reason? Maybe this calls for a new thread in IMHO…