caught in the act stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am sure this has been covered at some point but not recently.

How about stories about being caught in the act? Fresh stories that haven’t been told earlier. And dont try to top the previous post, just tell you story.

My story (one of them):
girl friend and I are sitting on the couch late one night at her mother’s house. she has my zipper down and playing. when standing at the door her mother screeches “what are you doing?”. talk about shrivel! girl friend answers “talking, why?”. mom answers “don’t hear much talking going on” and goes back to bed. It turns out that her mother didnt have her glasses on so she couldn’t see much more than us sitting next to each other on the couch.

2

I lived with my freshly-divorced mother through my junior year of college. We’ve never really gotten along, and she had a horrible list of strict rules for me to abide by. Now, I’m pretty sure the “boyfriends should not be snuck up into your room” rule was supposed to be a given. But I was 19, and she was just too darn strict.

So, Mr killdare (when he was just “katie’s boyfriend”) and I were hanging out in my, um, bed when my mom woke up and came in to check on me. I was about 19, I guess. With his super-hero reflexes, Mr killdare somehow kind of shrunk down under the covers so his head was right below the start of my comfortor. Mother and I had our quick conversation (“Huh? I’m sleeping. No, I didn’t hear anything…”) with me stuck between the heart-wrenching anticipation of being revealed in an objectionable position and almost laughing out loud at the ridiculousness of chatting with her while my special friend was attached along the right side of my body.

She went back to bed and I thanked Baby Jesus for his mercy.

3

My senior year in college I had a MONSTEROUS closet, and a roommate. My g/f also had a roomie, so evenings of intimacy were a logistical challege. Solution? A bed in the closet (did I mention it was BIG?). While we WERE quiet, good old Dave gets up for crew practice, and goes in the closet for his stuff, and the young lady and I were discovered embraced and engaged. Heard about it for months later. Thank god I was a senior and didn’t have to hear about it for YEARS.

4

I was probably about 17 or 18, in my room with a young man, expressing myself in a rather, ahem, vocal fashion. My mother came downstairs, opened the door and turned on the light. He froze in midstroke and we all just stared at each other. After what seemed like hours but was probably more like 20-30 seconds, Mom turned off the light, closed the door and went back upstairs to her room without saying a word.

5

2 stories to share.

This one always comes up whenever I’m with my friend Matt.
Ok. I was young and innocent in highschool. Until I met Matt,and he showed me the joys of alcohol. I was REALLY into Matt too. Long hair, goatee, played the guitar and really like me too. So one night while he’s walking my drunk-ass home we decide to mess around in the park near my house. So pants are un-buttoned, shirts are taken off and I’m uh…how do you say this kindly? Giving him head…(haha)Remember we’re drunk so we fail to hear someone walk up. We both hear “sorry” and look up to see some guy and his dog. We both start cracking up, get dressed and walk home.

Second story. I’m with my fuckbuddy. We’re about to get it on. I’m totally nekkid. FB has shirt off and is in the process of taking his pants of and uhm…er…mounting me. Door opens and in steps my 3 year old nephew at the time. Blankets fly to cover us, and I’m busy screaming,“Hey get out!! You gotta knock first!”. I get busy getting dressed and try to convince my nephew what he just saw was his imagination. Didn’t work. My mom found out and I had to admit the truth.

6

I, too, fall into the “almost caught” category; the first time seconds (just seconds!) away from losing my hated virginity, the second time two days later.

My girlfriend and I were downstairs at my dad’s house under the pretense of watching a movie (I think it was “Iron Eagle” - lousy make-out movie). It was winter, so there’s covers, sweaters, etc. We’d been trying to find the time to get the deed done and this seemed as good a time as any - noone ever came downstairs during movie time (they were too busy smoking pot in the garage, it turns out). By accident, I left on my shirt, she had on socks. Jimmysack on, all systems go, 3-2-ABORT-ABORT-ABORT!

Here comes dad down the stairs - “you guys want some chicken?” Just as he rounds the corner, we get under the covers, her feet sticking out and nothing else, me showing chest up with the shirt on (other clothes safely in a corner). Looked innocent enough, because he didn’t bat an eye.

“No, no chicken, thank you.”

We were both too freaked out to try again. Ended up doing it three days later with noone around (story for another thread, but WOW!). Two days after that, mom tried to walk into my room while we were at it full-tilt, but the door was chained shut. I don’t know what she saw, because 15 years later, she still won’t talk about it.

And (aside to Geobabe), thanks. Now I’ll have dreams about being that guy your mom caught you with. :slight_smile:

7

A bit of advice: If you’re going to get it on, remember to turn the baby monitor off.

(I’d tell the story, but it’s actually pretty boring, you can probably guess what happened.)

8

Homer: “Baby to Marge! Baby to Marge! WAAAH! WAAAH!”

Have you seen American Pie 2, yet? There is of, course, the “cuaght in the act” you see in the preview, but also a little bit of “listening in” as well.

I was actually caught in the act my very first time, but since it was a small intimate party and the girl and I were pretty friendly with the other guests, it was more of a “excuse us while we finish” vs. “we hafta leave” kinda thing.

9

I got caught in the hot tub with a gf when I was in high school. Dad made me drain it and clean it the next day.

FF eight years. My ex-wife and I were seperated (the first time), she was about seven months pregnant, I was working nights and had my own place while she was staying with her parents. Nearly every day that summer, she was coming to my place for a nooner (the best sex of our marriage was the six months we were seperated and she was pregnant, go figure). One day, in her haste to use and abuse me, she neglected to lock or even fully close the back door to my apartment, which opened right into the bedroom, btw. Dad came over to drop off his truck so I could move ex’s stuff into our new apartment (reconcilliation had been reached). He reaced up to knock and the door just swung open, giving him a full view of the former Mrs. Sewalk riding me like the bull at Gilley’s. The look on Dad’s face was absolutely priceless. He quietly backed out and closed the door, leaving the ex oblivious to his presence. That evening, he sheepishly asked me if it was really OK for us to be having sex while she was seven months pregnant (he’s pretty old-school). Hell, if it was her idea, I wasn’t about to start raising objections. Turns out I was right. She had the kid and we had only one half-hearted (on her part) attempt at sex again before she finally moved out again, a little over a year later (yeah, sex once a year while married, talk about hell).

What? Me bitter?

10

I’ve walked in on more people masturbating than I care to admit.

Two of them were my cousins… ew ew ew.

11

Well hell, whatever floats your boat…

I’ve got multiple stories, but one should do for now. As I’m sure most will attest to, in your younger days before getting your own place, sex in any venue other than a car or outdoors is a rare treat. And not without it’s dangers. On this particular occasion, a friend had the good fortune of wishing his parents bon voyage for an extended vacation. During one of the parties he inevitably put on, my then GF and I retreated to an upstairs TV room where she obliged to show me her lingual dexterity while I sat in an overstuffed leather chair. After the first interruption, she asked me to hurry up, but I was having too much fun. After the second interruption, I swear I really tried to hasten things along, but nerves prevented me. I had to bribe the third trespasser to stand guard, at which time my GF informed me that I owed her big time, and we would be settling the debt the old fashioned way in the backseat of her car.

12

goodness, uncle bill, many, many, many, jokes came to mind re: your closet story. and then i remembered you’re a marine…

13

I was 18 or so.Over at the GF’s house. Her whole family pretty much didn’t like me. It was the night before her brothers wedding.And her mom worked nights so we thought we were safe.We are right in the middle of hot monkey love and the door opens.Her mom looks for a minute and closes the door.Her mom stopped home on her lunch break to finish sewing a dress for the wedding.She went out and had a few quiet words with mom.And i snuck out later.The worst part was her mom giving me the ride to the wedding the next day.Talk about the evil eye.

14

I’m not really sure this qualifies, but what the hell.

In college, I lived with two female roommates in a very large duplex. (We all had our own bedrooms.) I was dating another woman from school, and brought her home with some regularity.

One of my roommates had a very-late-night job working in an armored car. She’d get up at, like, 2am, shower etc., and leave to start a 3am-ish shift.

I brought my then-girlfriend back late one night. We had the front rooms pretty much to ourselves (my two roommates were asleep), and eventually we got to fooling around for a while in the living room. After maybe an hour or so, we were totally hot and heavy, and adjourned quickly to my bedroom, shedding clothes and stopping every few feet to fool around some more.

Eventually we got to my room, threw each other on the bed, and commenced with the nasty. I’ve always had excellent “stamina,” so I have no idea how long it was, but clearly time was not a concern.

Until my roommate asked me a question… at the open door.

I’m on top of my girlfriend, missionary-style, no sheets, fully exposed, her legs around me, engaged in coitus – and we freeze. We realize, belatedly, that we didn’t shut the door. However, the light is on in the hallway, and it’s dark in the bedroom, so my roommate, standing outside, can’t really see anything. And by the tone of her voice, she’s totally oblivious to what we’re doing.

We have a brief conversation – I’m still inside my girlfriend, she’s grinning up at me, and my heart is pounding, full of fear that the roommate will actually poke her head in the door or something – but finally she goes away. I’m a little embarrassed, but my girlfriend pulls my head back down and makes it clear we’re simply taking ourselves off “pause.”

Funny thing is, after I broke up with that gf, I went out with that same roommate for a little while. That didn’t work out, but we’re still friends, and to this day I don’t think she has a clue what she almost walked in on. Even the clothes littering the living room and hallway didn’t give it away…

15

I had a gf in high school with a very permissive mother. She really didn’t care what we did in her daughter’s room.

We’re going at it hot and heavy one afternoon when her mother opens the door to ask a question. I stop mid-coitus with a deer in the headlights look. Her mother laughs, says
“I guess I ruined someones hard-on”, and closes the door. We finished up and went out to eat dinner.

16

Amazing timing on this thread
Walked in on the boss and her boyfriend today. The office door swings outward. Closed but not locked. I was handling the phones and the counter allright till the bosses mom called. Walked back to the office to tell her to pick up line two. Swing open the door, lean in and say “Mom on line… sorry. Went back up front, told her mom that she was out of the building. Short time later boss and bf come up front. I apologized and the bf says “That will just teach me to lock the door” Took a while for my boss to look me in the eye. She asked me how much I saw, and when I reply " Not enough” she smiled. It is a cool job.

Closest to two person sex I’ve been in way to long :slight_smile:

17

Allright, I have two “sort of, but not exactly caught” stories.

#1 - This took place in my bedroom, with a now ex-boyfriend, when I was 17. My sister was in the next room. I have to set the stage a bit, of course. My bedroom door does have a lock, but the lock is at the top of the door. Why? It used to be my parents’ bedroom. My sister and I took it over when my parents built another bedroom. We were small children, so my parents moved the lock to avoid having us accidentally lock ourselves in.

So the bf and I were in my room making out. We decided that we wanted to f–k, so he shut and locked the door. Mid-coitus, my phone (I have my own line) started ringing! He panted, “Don’t answer it, let it ring…”. I was inclined to, but for a problem.

There was an extension in the room where my sister was. If I didn’t answer the phone right next to me, she would answer the other one. She would then stomp up to my door yelling why didn’t I answer, then asking about the locked door. That would have been tricky.

I answered it. It was my ex-boyfriend. I rushed him the hell off the phone!! Later, I called back. He inquired about my tone during the last call. I told him, “Well, I was having sex!”. Just for the shock value, I guess. :slight_smile:

#2 - I was 20 and in my dorm room with a “guest”. We were in flagrante delicto when we knocked something over and caused a big crash.A minute later, there was a knock at the door.

“Yes???” I yelled, a bit cautiously.

“It’s Suzi! Is everything okay in there? I heard a big crash!”. Suzi was my next door neighbor. My guest was convulsed in a fit of silent laughter.

“Uh, yeah…I actually have a…guest right now!” I yelled back, a little embarrassed.

“Ohhhhhh SHIT!!! I’m sorry! I’ll letcha get back to…what you were doing…Bye!”

“No problem Sue!”

We got back to business. I saw Suzi the next day. She apologized profusely for the intrusion. She had no idea I was “entertaining”. I said that I was glad to have a neighbor who cared enough to inquire if she heard a noise that might indicate a bad situation. Everything was cool after that.

18

I have been friends with this guy for about a month (through another friend, but I knew who he was way before, anyway) he has wanted to get in my pants for a while. The other night we were looking for a place we could do it and we parked but we were just sitting there for a minute and a cop pulled up and told us to leave. So, last night I was driving him home and he wanted to so we found a spot. We started making out blah blah blah. Well we were in the backseat and I had no pants/underwear on and he was in his boxers. He says “here comes a car…it’s a cop” We are in the backseat and my pants are in the front so I fly over the seat and threw my pants on. Luckily we both had pants on when the cop got to the car and the back window was fogged up. I can’t tell anyone I know about this so you people are the only ones who know. Arent you special :slight_smile:

19

Okay…I’ve been caught a few times but this is the most interesting one.

My then-girlfriend and I were both in law school. We were up late at the law school, studying for an exam in the courtroom. We had spread out all our books on the floor in front of the judge’s bench. We started to kiss and pretty soon her shirt was off, I was attached to her chest with a hand down her pants. The next thing I heard was the door opening and we looked up at our T.A. from our writing class, staring down at us. She hardly flinched and said, “How long will you guys be??” (I’m shocked she hardly flinched - how often do people walk in on two women going at it?) My then-gf said, “Two hours.” Sure enough…we just went behind the judge’s bench and finished.

Ohhhh, one more that’s just funny…I was dating a woman who is 24 years older than myself. I was 27, she was 52 at the time. I had picked her up from the airport and we walked out to the car and climbed in - I leaned over and we started to kiss. That’s when she froze and said, “Shit!” Staring in the car was a woman with her 2 children. Whoops.

Tibs.

20

This happened to a friend of mine, and it is too good of a story not to share.

My friend D. had recently come out of the closet and was going through a slutty period. At the time, he was living with his grandmother in her house. One night, he hooked up with this frat boy from the nearby college and they went back to D.'s place. They went into his room, and had a couple of beer’s before getting down to business. Now the way D tells the story, they had just settled into a rhythm, with D on his back with his legs in the air, when Grandma burst into the room without knocking. Everyone froze for a minute, until Grandma, who has a very scratchy scary voice (from 40 years of smoking) yells out “What are you boys doing, having rectal intercourse!?” At that point frat boy hurriedly throws his pants on, grabs his shirt and runs out of the house with Grandma chasing him and calling him a weasel and a bastard. He ran out so quickly he left his hat and underwear behind, and didn’t have his shirt on. This happened in the winter up north, so it had to have been cold. Grandma comes back in, glares at D and then slams his door shut. D. said that he just thought fuck it and went to sleep(He was pretty buzzed at the time.) He woke up in the morning, remembered what had happened, and said he almost died of embarrassment right then. Grandma never mentioned it though, and never came into his room without knocking again.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent. If you know D. though, you have already heard the story.

Jeeves