Cecil’s Revenge. (Part II)

[sup]If you didn’t catch the first Cecil poem parody, it’s here.[/sup]
Cecil’s Revenge. (Part II)
[sup]A satirical poem.[/sup]
[sub](With apologies to James Wilson.)[/sub]

There were heavy hearts in Dopeville, for a month or even more;
There were muttered oaths and curses – every user here was sore.
“Just think,” said one, “how sad it looked – with Cecil in the chat!
And then, to think he’d go and pull a newbie stunt like that.”

All his past fame forgotten; he was now a hapless “shrine.”
They called him “Flame-out Cecil”, from Zotti down the line,
And as he came to lurk each day, his bosom heaved a sigh,
While a hint of hidden fury shone in mighty Cecil’s eye.

Life’s lane is long, someone said, that never turns again,
This board and fate, both fickle, grant a second chance to men.
Oh, Cecil tried to answer, but his face was looking worn;
But then that little bastard troll, returned and posted porn.

All Dopeville had assembled; ten thousand folks had come
To see if “Flame-out Cecil”, would stop this trolling bum;
And when he posted in the thread, the multitude went wild.
They read the post in disbelief ~ ‘cause Cecil only smiled.

“You Putz!,” the voices all rang out, and then the flames began;
But in that throng of thousands, there was not a single fan.
Who thought that Straight Dope had a chance; and with the setting sun
Their hopes sank low – the bastard trolls were making him look dumb.

His weekly column now complete, (they called it a big bore);
And when the troll now slandered him, the crowd began to roar.
The din increased, the echo of ten thousand shouts was heard
And then on logged the sock puppets, and chipped in their foul word.

Three socks in here – “Please Mod appear!” – We beg one voice the same.
A scorching retort here would make the Straight Dope hall of fame;
But here the flame war ended, then the gloom was deep as night
When the newbie called him “Poopy-Head”, and more just said, “He’s right."

A dismal groan in chorus came – a scowl was on each face.
When Cecil surfaced in the thread, and meekly took his place;
His bloodshot eyes in fury gleamed; his fists were clenched in hate;
He cracked his knuckles viciously, then entered the debate.

But fame is fleeting as the wind, and glory fades away;
There were no wild and wooly cheers, no glad acclaim this day.
They hissed and groaned and hooted, as they clamored, “Kick his ass!”
But Cecil still ignored the taunts, exuding only class.

The flamer smiled and cut one loose; across the screen it spread;
Another hiss, another groan. “No more!” the Dopers said.
A witty shot, the board had thought, would bring him to his knees,
“Flame him!” the Dopers roared aloud; Cecil ignored their pleas.

No roasting for those bastards now – this was an easy lot;
But wait! The trolls now writhed in pain – was that a lethal shot?
A whack! a crack! and out through space that asshole’s ego flew,
A blot against the distant sky, a speck against the blue.

Beyond the board a booted dunce, in rapid whirling flight,
The crowd rejoiced; the blot grew dim, and then was lost to sight.
Ten thousand smilies thrown in air, ten thousand Dopers claimed,
That no one saw again the jerk that mighty Cecil flamed!

Oh, somewhere on my favored board dark clouds may hide the sun.
And somewhere folks no longer play, and posters have no fun;
And somewhere over blighted lives, trolls can post with glee;
Not here at Straight Dope ~ for mighty Cecil ~ exploded their PC.

[sub]Original poem can be foundhere.[/sub]


What can one say – about perfection?

That’s it. I wanna be a groupie.

::: wants Smug to “do” him :::

Don’t let Chief Scott see those ten-thousand smilies in the air, he have a stroke! :wink:

Smug, I think I will start a petition to have the admin change your title from “Member” to “Bard of the SDMB”.


::waiting to sign petition::

In one of the many aspects of my life, filking and parody are richly treasured skills…

smug, as CEO, President and Alpha Groupie, I must ask you to keep a calm head about as you are going to make all your admirers swoon before you.

You’re awesome!


Smug, the last one was brilliant. This one is divine. BraVO.

Well, you’ve already turned down my proposal so, rather than asking again, I just built a shrine in my living room.

I agree - you are quite perfect in my book, Ice Wolf.

How about a gropee? :wink: Gropees have more fun.

Thanks Polycarp. My very first sexual proposition here. Awwwwwwww. I am sooooo flattered. No.
[sup]Unless you were talking about making you the subject of the next parody…then… um … no. Nothing rhymes with Polycarp.[/sup] :wink:

Even if someone just replies with a single smilie, it makes my day.
And… Bard? Thanks but I’m more like a… “Subway Performer”.
[sup]Throw a coin in my hat as you walk by…[/sup]

I hate weddings. How about we just skip to the honeymoon?
I can show ya my “shrine”. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m not sure… Does Filk = Folk + Filth?
And thanks.

Silly Rabbit My first and favorite gropee. Um… groupie. U da best! Luv ya!

Juniper200 You are too kind. :smiley:

::swooning, blushing furiously, fanning face::


I am humbled by your brilliance!
May I just say thank you, thank you, for making my day.

Can you wait a couple more days before you do another one, I don’t think I could take it.

Oh, BTW, may I bear your child?

Damn you Smug…everytime you do one of these, I keep trying to top it. And failing. You are the grandmaster SDMB filker!

I stand in awe.


I’ll forgive smug the 10,000 smilies thrown in the air.
That was a good 'un.

Knowing full well that I’m proclaiming my incredible ignorance to the world…

So uh, what thread did all this happen in?

That’s the fun of a satirical parody. It can represent all the threads, not a particular thread.
Welcome to the board edbenson. :slight_smile:

ChiefScott Thank you sir. salutes. Did everybody hear that? The Chief has ordered 10,000 smilies, then he will forgive me.
So let’s get going people! On the double!
:)[sub]9,999 more now…[/sub]

velvetjones You are too kind, but as for bearing my children…I am sure you can do better than me. ;)[sub]9,998[/sub]

Fenris Thanks. You filk damn good yerself. :smiley: [sub]9,997[/sub]

Holy s***.

HOW did I miss this one???

:::Persephone prostrates herself on the ground at smug’s feet:::

Please forgive my blindness, dear smug. From this day forward, I shall open each and every thread with your name on it, I swear! I shall never again allow your sheer genius to go unread!

[sub]unless it’s in GQ…they frighten me over there…**