Ok, so I’m watching the replay of the celebrity boxing match between Vanilla Ice and Todd Bridges etc… and I get to wondering what other good match ups could there be? Here are some of my ideas, what are yours?
Or am I the only one who thinks about this pointless crap? 
Match ups:
Gary Coleman vs Webster
Oprah vs Rosie
Clinton vs Kenneth Starr
Tommy Lee vs Kid Rock
Tom vs Roseann
You get the idea…
How about Arafat vs. Netanyahu? Winner takes all. Think of the ratings THAT would bring in! 
Ranchoth
Gary Coleman vs. Mike Tyson. Any bets on how many rounds they’ll go?
Rush Limbaugh vs. Dr. Laura?
I’m not ineterested in the premise of this show. “Paula Jones v. Tonya Harding.” Who cares about that? “Paula Jones v. George Foreman.” Now THAT I’d watch!
Rush vs Hillary Clinton might be more evenly matched
Hey, just as long as they beat the crap out of one another!
[sub]P.S. Did you get my last email?[/sub]
Why not have 15-20 fights per hour:
Mr. T v Carrot Top
Mike Tyson v Lisa Kudrow
Roseanne v Webster
A 400-lb gorilla v The Pepsi Girl (note: gorilla should be insane)
…etc
Good ideas all!
Carrot Top versus Gilbert Gottfried
Bill OReilly versus Ted Koppel
Calista Flockhart versus Lara Flynn Boyle
I heard Darva Conger is interested. I’m serious.
It’s most probably going to be the washed-up celebs who will do anything to get back into the spotlight. They’re the ones doing the infomercials and hawking vacuum cleaners at the malls.
So somebody like:
Jerry Mathers
the cast of Love Boat
Jackie Martling
Tiffany
would fit the bill.
Falwell vs. Robinson. The winner? Us.
I’d also like to see John Edward, Sylvia Browne, and James Van Praagh in a cage grudge match.
Argh…I meant RobERTson. Not sure who Robinson is. Maybe James Robinson, who wrote Leave it to Chance and Starman? Though I’m ticked at HIM, I’d probably send him to box Kurt Busiek, who I’m also ticked with.
Hillary vs. Monica
Rush vs. Howard
Eminem vs. Chuck Zito
Mike Tyson vs. Hannibal Lector
Ted Koppel vs. David Letterman
Janet Reno vs. a Presa Canari . . . Preso Can . . . one of those attack dogs
RR
Sean Connery vs Anthony Hopkins
Lorena Bobbit vs OJ Simpson
Henry Rollins vs “Suge” Knight
Mark Hamill vs William Shatner
Clint Eastwood vs Richard Roundtree
Jet Li vs Jackie Chan
Richard Kiel (Jaws) vs Peter Mayhew(Chewbacca)
AND THE MAIN EVENT>>>>>
Arnold Scwarzenegger
VS
Sylvester Stallone
Of course, one classic has already occurred (I guess that’s why it’s a classic):
And now there’s:
Son of Bambi Meets Godzilla
RR
Siskel v. Ebert would have been classic. Alas, it will never be.
People, where have you been? These fights have been going on for a couple years now. Som past highlights:
[ul]
[li]Marilyn Manson vs. Charles Manson[/li][li]Bill Gates vs. Michael Flatley[/li][li]Jack Nicholson vs. Leonardo DiCaprio[/li][li]Rosie O’Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey vs. Jerry Springer[/li][li]John Tesh vs. David Hasselhoff[/li][li]Puff Daddy vs. Trent Reznor[/li][li]Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey[/li][li]Hillary Clinton vs. Monica Lewinsky[/li][li]Stephen King vs. J.K. Rowling[/li][li]Howard Stern vs. Kathy Lee Gifford Pamela Lee vs. RuPaul [/li][li]Prince Charles vs. Prince[/li][li]Backstreet Boys vs Beastie Boys [/li][/ul]
And on and on and on. My personal favorite was when they brought in a time machine and Ghandi kicked the living shiite out of Ghengis Khan. Also when Barbra Streisand yanked Celine Dion’s spine out by the roots.
Um, sorry. Forgot to mention that these fights, for the unitiated, have all taken place on MTV’s “Celebrity Deathmatch.” And yes, Ebert and Siskel have squared off twice.
Its all about
Sara Michelle Gellar vs Jessica Alba
though we all know Buffy would kick her ass IRL. Isn’t she into Tae Kwon Do or something? Still, I would love that.
I must say that I really wanted to see
Lawrence Fishburne vs Keanu Reeves
Hey, Morpheus is fighting Neo!!! 
Mr T vs Carrot Top is CLASSIC.