Cesario, you're awfully sanctimonious for a pedophile

I’ve been trying to imagine that conversation all thread, since a couple of people have said the mods should contact the authorities. It’d probably go like this:

“Police department of [town Cesario is in].”
“Hi there, I’d like to report a pedophile I found on the internet.”
“Do you have reason to believe this person plans to abuse a child?”
“No. Mostly he’s saying he should be allowed to have sex with children if they consented.”
“Has he confessed to a crime?”
“He says he wouldn’t break the law.”
“Do you believe he’s harmed a child in the past?”
“He says he hasn’t. I don’t know.”
“Do you have reason to believe this person is in possession of child pornography?”
“No.”
“Has he been grooming a child or discussed doing so?”
“No. He says he’s into kids younger than 10, and there aren’t any on the site.”
“Is this person a registered sex offender?”
“Not as far as I know.”
“So what would you like us to do?”
“I felt like I should say something, in case it helps.”
“Thank you.”