Paper towels. You can’t go wrong with more surface area. (Unless it’s quilted; then you just feel like you’re ruining some old lady’s hard work.)
Cottonnelle clogs the bejesus out of my 1950’s era plumbing.
So instead, I use a smallish bird. Chickadees and siskins are too small, seagulls are too big, crows tend to fight back. Finches are best, and sometimes a grosbeak in a pinch. As a bonus, when you’re done, there’s nothing to flush: you just let them fly away.
You want to trap the little legs between your fingers and wipe with their back, though. You do not one of those clawed feet going up your dirt chute.
There are a whole slew of reasons that women use more toilet paper then men. Not all of these apply to all women, but probably several of them apply to any given woman.
(1) As mentioned above, women have to wipe after both urination and defecation. Contrary to above, this does not mean they have to wipe twice as much. Most people poop 1-2 times per day, and pee 3-6 times per day. So assuming a woman uses separate handfuls of paper to wipe the front bits and the back bits, she is already using 4-8 times as much. (3-5 times as much if she wipes with one handful, hopefully front to back.)
(2) Surface area. Most times, it doesn’t take much to clean an asshole. However, depending on physical makeup, a woman may have to clean inner and outer labia, perineal area, and maybe some dribbles down a butt cheek, every time she pees. Takes a little more paper to do, and a little more paper to protect the hand that’s doing.
(3) Periods. While Amazon Floozy Goddess’s description is a bit extreme, periods do create some mess. Even if you use tampons, you have to take them out regularly, and most women wipe their hands and/or labia afterwards. If you use pads as primary protection, or if you overflow your tampon, there is more of a mess to clean up. And this generally affects women 1/5th of the time, resulting in significant toilet paper usage.
(4) Pregnancy. Women start having to pee more often early in pregnancy, and this often continues as a life-long problem afterwards. Given that many women have been pregnant at some point, increasing their number of bathroom trips in general.
So, yup, we use more. You guys should sue :D.
Baby wipes, while too expensive for everyday use, are great. I keep some in the bathroom just in case the TP isn’t cutting it.
I’m cheap when it comes to TP. My butt is acclimated to the cheap Marcel brand, so that’s what I use.
And I agree wholeheartedly with the OP. I needed some TP once and called my sister–who was on her way from D.C to visit me–and told her to pick me up some. She came back with a two month supply of Charmin. At first I was excited (for once I had something that was truly a “namebrand”), but then I realized how bad the stuff is. After using it, I had enough lint in my junk to make a whole new roll!
For my butt, the tougher the better. Twigs are better than lint any ole day.
As for women and their TP usage, my periods sound similar to Amazon’s. Not just blood, but giant clots (even with tampons). And diarrhea. Also, when I’m on my period, I have to pee more than usual due to water retention. I’m tons of fun during that time of the month!
But there’s also the fact that some women use TP for the application of cosmetic products. Like my aunt. She can go through an entire roll of TP in a couple of days simply due to make-up.
Then it’s probably passive-aggression. 
Because the cats had all fled the country, I presume.
Yep, sounds accurate. Can’t use tampons, not on the pill, and have always had heavy periods. Been to the doctor, says I’m normal. Fortunately the bad stuff is only 2-3 days out of the whole process. And we don’t sit around like that, we clean up, so it’s not THAT gross.
Personally, because there’s nothing worse than walking around feeling squishy.
(another Scott’s lover here. It gets me drizabone)
I suppose this is as good a time as any to mention the post-coital globs…
Think gravity.
I can’t believe no one’s posted the Master’s take on this yet.
I hate Charmin, too. Those shitting bears creep me out.
The little girl bear is hilarious when she jams both paws into her crotch.
Word.
I use only Cottonelle single rolls.
Target brand unscented.
Scented toilet tissue and tampons I do not trust. I will accept scented sanitary napkins, considering the alternative for even the most clean-living.
I bought some Charmin once when I was at the gas station and all the other stores were closed. I regretted it – one pack of Charmin did not last me a week.
Tusa: limpia, rasca y desenreda (corncob: cleanses, scratches and untangles) 
Write me down as another “the rougher the better” TP user. Lint in my arse is not fun. My navel on the other hand…