I’ve been seeing ads for a “new, stronger, Charmin”, and wondering how many hard asses there are out there destroying the regular Charmin. According to their website
And I came across this surprising toilet paper, er, supplement. Charmin® Fresh Mates
When your ass needs a shower, but you don’t even want to get out of the car.
:mad:
I got suckered into buying two big packages (24 rolls altogether :mad: ) of that stuff the last time I was at the grocery store. Kroger was out of the Charmin double roll packages I normally get, and they had this stuff marked down tastily as a new-product-rollout come-on (the bastidges :mad: ), so I thought what the heck, and popped for it.
And I find it stiff and unyielding–it feels starched. It does NOT gently conform itself to the shape of my personal bits that most need wiping. It just kinda folds itself around in random shapes.
And I tend to pull off the same number of sheets as with the other Charmin, and the result is a huge handful of stiffish paper, not useful for carefully wiping the tender girly bits.
And damn, that starchy stiffness makes it harsh. I thought that we as a Civilization had mastered the technique of making TP that didn’t hurt when you wiped, at least, outside of campgrounds, institutions, and the military. But apparently some Suit at P&G was having a flashback to the Good Old Days at summer camp, and, smiling nostalgically, inflicted “harsh TP” upon an unsuspecting consumer populace.
So I find myself using more of the “'For Auxiliary Use” wet wipes that live on the back of the potty than normal.
Bah to the whole thing. “Will not buy this product again.”
Perhaps I should go buy a hamster to shred it up for bedding.
I too have recently been hoodwinked by the huggable bear. I just recently bought a 24 pack of “Charmin Ultra Soft” in an attempt to save money. No amount of money is worth the angst I now endure however. While soft and pleasing to the touch, whenever this TP gets anywhere near my nether regions, it’s like it takes on a mind of its own. It does not conform into a convenient wiping state, and it seems too bulky no matter how few squares I use. I always end up having a huge chunk stuck to my chocolate forest. Rot in hell Leonard; I hope Satan takes a big fat dump on your chest and all you have to clean with is 1 square of Charmin.
I refuse to buy any Charmin until they quit with the bear advertising. I don’t think it’s cute, I think it’s offensively stupid.
But while I don’t use their wipes, I gotta say that the general concept of the wipes is amazing and I don’t know why they didn’t get marketed sooner. TMI – ladies, during your period, those things are incredible!
Spelling error.
Personally I am an Angel Soft fan. Just the right consistency and fluffiness. As any of you who have read any of my thoughts on the idea that one can never, never, never, ever have too much tp can attest to, if I say it’s good tp, then it’s good tp. 
Those wipe thingys are nice though.
*Please don’t * squeeze the Charmin!
My ass shreds sandpaper. I swear I’ve got the most ornery, hard-to-clean bung-hole on the planet.
Aren’t you glad I shared this?
I keep having nasty visions of Mr. Whipple in a commercial for this stuff.
I agree, bears may poop in the woods but they certainly don’t wipe!*
*Unless a nice soft rabbit happens by.
There’s just one thing I got to know …
Could someone please tell me how the three little seashell things work?
Thank you.
Lucy
My nickname in elementary school was Charmin, because my ass was (is) so big.
We actually have some of the Strong Charmin right now. I don’t mind it too much, as I use fewer squares. My mom on the other hand, “Doesn’t like wiping her as with Bounty”. It is a mini version of Bounty paper towels.
Ever since I began taking additional iron for the sleep apnea/anemia problem I have had the “Turds from Hades”. They are green, soft , and mushy and flipping never-ending. Whereas before this, I had relaxed and started having nice, plump, non-dry turds that had a definite end point. I need a blessed Brillo pad to clean my poor bunghole now. I am miserable! The damp wipes are a god-send.
That was TMI, wasn’t it?
Oh Og, I didn’t realize what a horror this would become. :eek:
Could someone please tell me what the three little seashells things are?
It was a MacGuffin from the movie Demolition Man.
It was never explained in the movie how they were supposed to have been used.
What no-one ever seems to mention is the delayed anachronism of the ubiquitous shelf with three seashells found in the bathroom of every corny little old lady during most of the twentieth century.
I always assumed they were talking about an asscream scoop. What? You don’t have one? You never heard of it? Hmmm… maybe I’ve been assuming too much…
OK, so does a TP exist that doesn’t shred and doesn’t feel like sandpaper? Any reliable responses will be welcome!
I have had any issue with regular Charmin, or Northern.