I’m all for cheep toilet paper: I use Scott because it cleanses the hole with vicious efficiency. But Meijer toilet paper (do you know this store, not bad, and the produce has variety but you’ve got shriveled green beans and rotten shit in there: INSPECT), I can stand their store brands, most of them, but this roll CRUMBLES when you tear a sheet (finger-wrapped, analagous to whatever in a blanket) and now you’re fishing fuckin’ paper ‘n’ bits out of your asshole!
I mean, can I make a Pooppon[sup]TM[/sup] (can I trademark that?)? Like a fuckin’ tampon you shove up your ass and it just sucks in the shit until you remove it? Can you make an ostomy bag out of a cheep Meijer garbage bag?! I don’t know, but this bullshit roll won’t do it. Holy Mary fuckin’ mother of God!
Is it single ply? Singly ply TP should banned in most civilized countries. I’m all for less wasteful products, but it doesn’t help when you have to tear off extra paper just to make up for the loss, and half of it ends up being wasted anyway. Meijer doesn’t do business around here, should I be thankful? Maybe they recycle it from previously used TP.
I’ll be there is some correlation between the level of respect a business offers its employees and customers and the quality of toilet paper they offer.
What is better? Cottonelle or Charmin? Only an asshole would know!
Seriously, where I work they got the cheapest stuff out there. I did not know half-ply was possible. Not only thin, but no cleaning power at all. it is like wiping with one of the 'slick" papers out of the Sunday paper. We all take our own TP to work because that stuff the company provides is literaly not worth a shit. My wife takes care of deciding on what we use at home, and we currently use “Soft-n-gentle” brand, produced by Georgia-Pacific based in Atlanta Georgia, www.gp.com, patent #411,369 and 418,306. Hey, some people read cereal boxes, I don’t eat breakfast.
Actually, this paper is sold by Meijer, the store; I didn’t use it there.
It is fake-o fancy toilet paper like Charmin, but of extremely poor quality. It’s got more than one ply but crumbles (NO TENSILE STRENGTH) when you wipe your asshole with it.
Understood. And while we are on the subject, what is with scented TP? I got a pretty good idea what it is going to smell like when I use it. What is the point?
Good lord, you know it. Ever since I moved out of my parents’ house it’s Quilted Northern all the way. That’s just the first one I tried in my first ecstacy of TP buying - I don’t dare try other brands because what if I don’t like them?
Scott brand? Vicious efficiency? Jesus, man. If you really have need to scour your asshole, I suggest a change in diet, rather than a change in toilet paper. Life is too short to use cheap T.P.
I just buy the one with the puppy on it. Who wouldn’t want to clean their shitty ass with a golden retriever?
At least I think that’s what the ads are trying to tell me…
I like Scott. Can’t stand Charmin or Cottonelle or all those poufy types with floating cartoon bears acting all coquettish on TV, hiding behind a tree while they do their business and pass each other the roll.
It’s too soft! It leaves behind lint from all the puffiness and I don’t want lint on my ass!
Scott is soft enough not to be abrasive, yet sturdy enough for my needs.
People, get with the times and hook up with some adult sized moist wipes. They’re tough, flushable and you’ll damned near squeak when you walk away from the toilet. Regular toilet paper is for barbarians.
No offense, but I was just thinking as I enjoyed the wipe of my Cottonelle, who would buy Scott TP? I made the mistake of buying Scotties tissues and they aren’t much better. I know it just goes down the shitter, but in the meantime Cottonelle is so much better. I find Charmin leaves lint.
Hear hear! I hate that linty toilet paper shit. I actually prefer using a paper towel to that cotton-soft crap. I swear, it leaves my bottom dirtier than before. I am probably one of the few Americans who love European style brown toilet paper–you know, the stuff that’s somewhat sandpapery. I like the texture and it makes me feel clean.
Aren’t they kinda big? What, do you straddle it and have it move back and forth a couple of times? I think I’d go for a Sharpei puppy. They’re like a double roll of puppy buttwipe. Give me six or seven of them and the cakehole’s gonna sparkle. If it wasn’t a litter before, it will be by the time I get through with them.
