Cheating, porn use and the Coolidge Effect

[JohnClay]

I’m starting to check out all of the material on a website recommended to me by an anti-porn forum user…

http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

In the first video in that series it introduced the Coolidge Effect which is basically a declining interest in the present sexual partner with a renewed vigor with new sexual partners. It is present in all mammals and occurs in females too.

Synergy Explorers

From wikipedia:

Coolidge effect

A male rat was be placed into an enclosed large box with four or five female rats in in heat. He immediately began to mate with all the female rats again and again until eventually, he became exhausted. The females continued nudging and licking him, yet he did not respond. When a novel female was introduced into the box, he became alert and began to mate once again with the new female

That explains why in the Bible King David was so determined to marry Bathsheba even though she was married and even though he already had a few wives and concubines.

In the first video in the link it also uses the Coolidge Effect to explain why Hugh Grant cheated on the beautiful Liz Hurley…
“It’s as simple as Old vs. New”
http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u15/Hugh_Grant_Devine_Brown.jpg

From video 5:

…Unlike eating or addictive drugs there’s no limit to consumption. The brain’s natural satiation mechanisms are not activated, unless one climaxes. Even then, today’s user often clicks to something more shocking to override the post-orgasm feelings of satiety and become aroused again.
…With food and addictive drugs, one can only escalate by consuming more. With Internet porn one can escalate both with novel 2-D “partners” and by viewing new and unusual sexual practices…

That reminds me of how some people end up downloading kiddie porn…

[Trinopus]

Agreed… It is easy to become jaded with porn, and some people, in seeking to renew the thrill, turn to novel varieties. Futa, monsters, fusion, loli, furry, etc. etc. (Hey, I’m a furry, and will defend the aesthetic! But it is true that it is successful for being different.)

The same, of course, is true of a great many of our pleasures. It’s easy to become jaded with anything enjoyable. If you’re an opera fan, once you’ve heard the 100 or 200 most famous, you’ll end up looking for the unusual. “Siegfried” gives way to “The Fair at Sorochinsk.”

Pornography mimics intimacy, but can never actually deliver it. But, then, chocolate also causes the brain to feel the sensations of intimacy, comfort, and companionship.

Alcohol is still a hundred times worse. We tried doing something about that, and it didn’t work. Oh, well, back to furry loli monster robot futa.

[JohnClay]

This doesn’t just lead to porn addiction, apparently about 50% of married people cheat… and it would be due to the Coolidge effect.

Also apparently with some people they have trouble being stimulated enough by real sex due to the intense porn they use…

[Little_Nemo]

@JohnClay

That reminds me of how some people end up downloading kiddie porn…

I feel the chain of logic got derailed at this point.

There are literally billions of legal age women in the world. A heterosexual man could imagine a different woman every time he masturbated without ever repeating a fantasy. There’s no reason for a person to start seeking out kiddie porn because he’s exhausted the possibilities.

If this was the case, you’d see an ongoing progression. People with normal sexual desires would move on to pedophilia when they got bored. But then pedophiles would get bored with children and move on to animals. After a spell of bestiality, they’d move on to plants. And then, I dunno, inanimate objects or intangible concepts.

Obviously this isn’t case. People who have deviant sexual desires tend to develop them at an early age and maintain them throughout their life. There’s no progression.

[grude]

I think I actually have experienced a opposite effect due to porn exposure since I was a pre-teen, I find myself repulsed by porn and things I associate with porn. It is literally like my sexuality was shaped into the opposite direction, like…

Hate blondes, hate fake or long nails(ew!), hate shaved pubes on women, HATE fake boobs to the extreme(gotta jiggle), hate skeletal women(with fake boobs and butt implants naturally).

I dunno porn seems so fake and FAKE, its like replicants bred in vats on Porn Island which isn’t very interesting or sexy.

I’m actually turned on by pubes on a woman so…yea.

[Der_Trihs]

@grude

I think I actually have experienced a opposite effect due to porn exposure since I was a pre-teen, I find myself repulsed by porn and things I associate with porn. It is literally like my sexuality was shaped into the opposite direction, like…

Hate blondes, hate fake or long nails(ew!), hate shaved pubes on women, HATE fake boobs to the extreme(gotta jiggle), hate skeletal women(with fake boobs and butt implants naturally).

I dunno porn seems so fake and FAKE, its like replicants bred in vats on Porn Island which isn’t very interesting or sexy.

I’m actually turned on by pubes on a woman so…yea.

That sounds less like being turned off by porn, and more like being turned off by a particular subset of porn.

[grude]

@Der_Trihs

That sounds less like being turned off by porn, and more like being turned off by a particular subset of porn.

Well obviously, hey gay porn doesn’t have any women at all!

I think my point was exposure to mainstream heterosexual porn has turned me off of the “look” of most of the women, I often wonder where or even why these women all have the same gross look.

Breast implants are just required, butt implants getting popular, bleach blonde, fakey long nails, fish lips collagen injection, no pubes, stupid looking fake tan, etc etc.

[JohnClay]

@grude

…Hate blondes, hate fake or long nails(ew!), hate shaved pubes on women, HATE fake boobs to the extreme(gotta jiggle), hate skeletal women(with fake boobs and butt implants naturally).

I dunno porn seems so fake and FAKE, its like replicants bred in vats on Porn Island which isn’t very interesting or sexy.

I’m actually turned on by pubes on a woman so…yea.

You can get porn with brunettes, “bushes”, natural boobs and BBW (“big beautiful women”) BTW my wife fits your criteria - and she often even has hairy legs and pits.

A thing I quoted said: “viewing new and unusual sexual practices”

i.e. there is a lot more porn besides mainstream porn - like “Futa, monsters, fusion, loli, furry” which Trinopus mentioned.

There’s even things like “2 girls 1 cup”…

[Rick]

@Little_Nemo

I feel the chain of logic got derailed at this point.

Derailed, crashed through the neighborhood, ran over a cliff, blew up and burned when it hit the bottom.

[JohnClay]

@grude

…I think my point was exposure to mainstream heterosexual porn has turned me off of the “look” of most of the women, I often wonder where or even why these women all have the same gross look…

Check out the TV show “Snog, Marry, Avoid”:

Snog.Marry.Avoid.S03E11 Part 1 of 3

It involves the general public mostly wanting to “avoid” girls who like typical porn stars but saying they’d “snog” (kiss) or “marry” those girls when they get a “make-under”.

[JohnClay]

@Little_Nemo

Originally Posted by JohnClay
That reminds me of how some people end up downloading kiddie porn…

I feel the chain of logic got derailed at this point.

I didn’t put much thought into that… apparently people who own sex shops are rarely guilty of kiddie porn… (heard them say that on the news). But they might be guilty of more unusual fetishes.

There are literally billions of legal age women in the world. A heterosexual man could imagine a different woman every time he masturbated without ever repeating a fantasy. There’s no reason for a person to start seeking out kiddie porn because he’s exhausted the possibilities.

Maybe they were infatuated with a girl their own age while at school and they kept that fantasy with girls that age. And partly it could be due to those beauty pageants with toddlers that look sexualized. BTW not all women would give the average guy an erection… especially if they’re used to “10’s”. BTW there is a type of porn that has natural looking young women. (See domai [“Dirty Old Men Association International”])

If this was the case, you’d see an ongoing progression. People with normal sexual desires would move on to pedophilia when they got bored. But then pedophiles would get bored with children and move on to animals. After a spell of bestiality, they’d move on to plants. And then, I dunno, inanimate objects or intangible concepts.

It is often about “kinkiness” I think - and can involve body hair, lactating breasts, etc. Though I’m not an expert on kinky porn.

…People who have deviant sexual desires tend to develop them at an early age and maintain them throughout their life. There’s no progression.

I think things like a fetish for vinyl/leather would be learnt…

[Nunzio_Tavulari]

You have issues John Clay. In 2010, you called your girlfriend a 5. In 2013, you called your wife a 5. If this is the same person, you never had a sexual interest to start with. If it’s a different person, your priorities for a relationship need to be examined. I notice that many of your threads are locked, you seem to be drawn to controversial discussions.

Porn has existed since before the Bible was written. It has not had a negative effect on the general population and need not be repressed. It can have deleterious effects on people with personal problems that they’re avoiding.
The nicer the guy, the darker the sexual secrets?

What to do about neice touching my legs?

When I was about 20 I was on anti-depressants and my orgasms after masturbation were replaced with a spurt of tears.

Never make a pretty woman your wife

Songs for a not-so-beautiful life partner

What repulses you about your partner?

Should I take my “5” girlfriend to “She’s Out Of My League”?

[JohnClay]

@JohnClay

…Maybe they were infatuated with a girl their own age while at school and they kept that fantasy with girls that age…

I was just thinking about that a bit more… I’ve had crushes on girls at school who were maybe 11… when I see them in a school photo they still look cute to me… BTW in the TV show “Do Over”, the main character was in his 30’s but got sent back to high school in the 1980’s… though in one episode he pursues a girl in her 20’s, he mainly goes after a teenage girl… anyway for an adult man in an adult body it would be inappropriate to have sexual thoughts about teens or even younger girls.

[Voyager]

While there may be tons of different types of porn around, only a very limited subset is of interest to any one person, and that subset is limited by the desires of the creator or what the creator thinks will sell. One real person has more variety than a thousand porn sites.

Beyond that, if many men want to cheat (I don’t seem to have that gene) isn’t controlled viewing of porn a lot less disruptive than even controlled actual cheating? Also cheaper and safer. The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the pornsites but in ourselves.

[grude]

@JohnClay

I was just thinking about that a bit more… I’ve had crushes on girls at school who were maybe 11… when I see them in a school photo they still look cute to me… BTW in the TV show “Do Over”, the main character was in his 30’s but got sent back to high school in the 1980’s… though in one episode he pursues a girl in her 20’s, he mainly goes after a teenage girl… anyway for an adult man in an adult body it would be inappropriate to have sexual thoughts about teens or even younger girls.

My wife still had her first government ID from when she was 16 or 17, I said wow you were really hot even then I’d totally hit that. She was horrified.

[JohnClay]

@Nunzio_Tavulari

You have issues John Clay. In 2010, you called your girlfriend a 5. In 2013, you called your wife a 5. If this is the same person, you never had a sexual interest to start with.

I gave her a 5 based on her looks. A long term relationship also involves her personality and she is very affectionate and has an interesting personality. BTW we mainly have sex in the dark and she turns me on through manual stimulation. I can’t usually get an erection through visuals alone so hot looks is irrelevant if she can’t turn me on manually.

If it’s a different person, your priorities for a relationship need to be examined.

No it’s the same girl. i.e. my prospects aren’t that great (no big line of girls that I find attractive enough out there) - so I might as well stick with her.

I notice that many of your threads are locked, you seem to be drawn to controversial discussions.

Yes I like debate… particularly about the Bible and lately about color theory. (I’ve recently discovered that paints are partly additive enough though they are supposed to be subtractive)

Porn has existed since before the Bible was written.

That video says that Playboy is different to Internet porn. With Internet porn you can browse through dozens or hundreds of girls in seconds and see them have sex. People can be entertained by it for hours on end. That is different to little drawings on a wall or whatever in ancient times.

It has not had a negative effect on the general population and need not be repressed.

What about children being exposed to it - if it wasn’t repressed at all there would be even more children exposed to it. It would result in kids having sex at younger ages, experimenting with more things (e.g. anal sex) and possibly more teenage pregnancies.

BTW why are you bringing up my previous posts? Are you drawn to controversial discussions?

[Nunzio_Tavulari]

[QUOTE=JohnClay]
No it’s the same girl. i.e. my prospects aren’t that great (no big line of girls that I find attractive enough out there) - so I might as well stick with her.
[/QUOTE]
Then recognize that and stop demeaning her in front of strangers by repeatedly describing her as a 5. Bring up her better points.

[QUOTE=JohnClay]
That video says that Playboy is different to Internet porn. With Internet porn you can browse through dozens or hundreds of girls in seconds and see them have sex. People can be entertained by it for hours on end. That is different to little drawings on a wall or whatever in ancient times.
[/quote]

The imagination is a powerful thing and humans adapt to their environment. I’m certain that a little drawing on a wall was just as erotic to the viewer as an internet porn site. Possibly more so, as hundreds of spray-tanned, artificially enhanced porn actors splayed out across the screen can be anything but erotic.

[QUOTE=JohnClay]
What about children being exposed to it - if it wasn’t repressed at all there would be even more children exposed to it. It would result in kids having sex at younger ages, experimenting with more things (e.g. anal sex) and possibly more teenage pregnancies.
[/quote]

I have no problems with children being exposed to pornography. All humans are sexual beings, but individuals awaken to those feelings at different ages. How do you define child? Twelve or thirteen ids a child under the law, but I know that at that age I was doing everything I could to see pictures of naked ladies. It’s a natural curiosity. At nine, I couldn’t have cared less. I often saw women and girls in changing rooms at the beach and in stores and they incited no interest in me. At five, I’m not sure that I cared how bodies were configured.

Children will have sex when their hormones tell them to. Before that, they may be curious but they won’t stay interested for long. No child I know would be the least bit interested in putting any part of their anatomy where people poop comes from.

The war on teenage pregnancies is like the war on drugs. People are going to do what feels good and nothing will stop that. There were good reasons why people used to get married at thirteen. We have condoms and birth control now. If we treat sex as a natural human function instead of repressing it, there may be increased use of contraceptives as fewer will be inclined to hide them from their parents and peers. We’ve tried a lot of other stuff to reduce teen pregnancy, why not give this a try?

[QUOTE=JohnClay]
BTW why are you bringing up my previous posts? Are you drawn to controversial discussions?
[/QUOTE]

Because I think you are posting outrageous topics with the hope of drawing outrageous reactions. I have doubts about the veracity of your claims.

[Richard_Pearse]

@Der_Trihs

That sounds less like being turned off by porn, and more like being turned off by a particular subset of porn.

The problem with looking for a different than mainstream subset of porn is that it is always taken to the extreme. It is very difficult to find “normal” people. If you want girls with a bit of flesh on them you get 300 pounders. Looking for girls with some pupes and you get hair down the thighs. Looking for a bit of subtle female ejaculation and you get girls pissing all over the place. Everything is taken to the extreme and only appeals to a fetishist. I got bored with the type of porn that is easily obtained on the internet a long time ago.

[JohnClay]

Just before my wife told me and her brother that she had a very bad dream last night but didn’t want to talk about it. I asked her if she was embarrassed but she said she wasn’t. Later she revealed that in her dream she was cheating on me… it seems even my loyal wife isn’t immune to the Coolidge Effect…

[JohnClay]

I was just thinking about cartoon porn… in the past I’ve seen very explicit pictures of Bart and Lisa and Maggie getting up to mischief - it was meant to be humorous I think… e.g. Bart getting Maggie to suck his doodle. More recently I’ve seen more erotic Simpsons parodies though in them Bart and Lisa had hit puberty and Lisa had breasts, etc - maybe so it couldn’t be considered child pornography.