Which is worse:
To cheat on your Wife/Husband with a good “friend” or
To cheat on your good friend with his/her Husband/Wife?
I don’t think one is ‘worse’ than the other. They’re both pretty horrible in my eyes.
Depends on whether one is immoral, amoral or moral, I suppose.
The real answer can only come from the person being cheated on.
The first is breaking an explicit, spoken promise to the other person. So, I guess that makes cheating on one’s own spouse a hair worse.
Still, pretty scuzzy either way.
I might forgive a spouse who cheated on me but woe betide the friend who betrays me. A relationship with a lover is a many-faceted thing - loyalty is only part of it. But a friend who is disloyal is useless indeed - it invalidates the whole friendship.
That was me who wouldn’t forgive a friend. I didn’t notice my son was logged in. Sorry 'bout that.
I’ve been friends with my best friend for 16 years. It would be more hurtful for her to betray me than my SO that I’ve known for 6 months.
Timeframe irrelevant… It’s about the level of trust that’s been established.
Ok, I’m waffling… both would hurt.
I’m with Max Torque - spouse by a hair.
Here in Melbourne there was a very high profile AFL player (actually, probably the most high profile player - a captain of a team and an icon of the game) who cheated on his wife. The aspect that the media played up was that the “other woman” was the wife of his vice captain and good friend. The team decided that they couldn’t play beside someone who would betray a friend like that, so he captain handed in his resignation.
Real life situation just came to mind… My best friend (B) had a boyfriend (G) , and they were pretty serious… B’s friend ® was due to have fairly major surgery, and the night before said surgery, G told B that he’d be at the hospital for R because he was in love with her.
Needless to say, B was heartbroken. She and R had been friends for 14 years, since freshman year of high school.
Ultimately, G and R lived together for a few years, during which G cheated on her repeatedly and often. (Served her right, IMHO.)
BTW, B and myself are still the closest of friends… And to her credit (?), she forgave R enough to retain some semblence of friendship. But she will never trust her again… (duh)
I think that both are wrong… Id stop talking to both parties in question… But thats just my opinion… ;j To betray your friend and/or SO is a very bad and horrible thing to do… :mad:
So, what you’re asking is: Is it worse to violate a spoken vow, or an unspoken one?
For me, it’s totally equal. I could no more betray a friend than my husband. I could no more forgive a friend for that betrayal than I could my husband. Both are relationships built on trust, and either situation would destroy that trust.