Spped Racer, because Pops would talk so fast everyone else’s heads would explode. And everybody knows the Mach 5 is the fastest car there is!
Does Beakman get that little ratty sidekick of his? If so, he gets an edge. But I still think Bill Nye’s stronger knowledge of science (and pointy chin) would vanquish them. But Mr. Wizard could blow them both up without breaking a sweat.
Turns into a posing contest instantly. Then Lou Ferrigno, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Reg Park, Kirk Morris, Alan Steel, Mark Forest, Mickey Hargitay, Dan Vadis, and Gordon Scott demand a piece of the action. With so much sweat in the air, all succum to testosterone poisoning. Disney’s Hercules wins by default.
Johhny rips his arms off and stuffs them down his throat in 2.3 seconds. So the animators redraw him. Fast forward six hours, Johnny finally get winded, so Disney boy grabs him and scrapes his face off using him as a tree-surfboard.
Dean worries about his hair, Chris worries if the camera’s showing his good side, and George pummels them both senseless. Then Chris wines and cries until George lets him go, and he spins the Earth backward to try again. He still gets beat up.
They both get too confused just trying to figure out where in continuity the story is. “Iron Man? Are you a white guy or a black one in there?” “Is Superman just late, or is not a member anymore?” “What the hell is Vibe doing here?” They all go to a bar and swap war stories, none of which they can really remember because history has changed too many times.
Hm. Data is possibly the only being that C3PO could not bore to death. But I don’t see Data beating up on the gold geek, either. I think they sit down for a long long talk that would make the brains run out the ears of anyone unfortunate enough to listen in. (Add Marvin the Paranoid Android to that crew and you’d really have a party!)
OK, now let’s do:
Maggie Thatcher vs. Tony Blair
Ronald Reagan (either senile or not) vs. Bill Clinton
Heckle & Jeckle vs. Chip & Dale
