Chicken choking device advice II

How the hell did this thing work? Other than beating the chicken over the head with it I can’t see how it’s all that “humane”. An ax would be quicker and kinder.

Really Gross Farm Collectible, Chicken Killer

Looks like a nut cracker. Do Canadian chicks have nuts? That would explain it.

Perhaps it closed around the neck. One quick twist on the handles and that’s one choked chicken…

I saw this before with more pictures of the box. According to one of the pictures I saw, one end goes into the chicken’s mouth so that it rests on the upper palate, the other end rests on top of the head. Then you squeeze, smooshing its little brain. I can’t imagine that the chicken would sit still for this whole process.

[Sea Captain]
Yar! That’ll replace the whale in me nightmares!
[/SC]

Sure. I remember things like this, but I can’t remember where I put my keys. Feh!

Looks like all that would do is give the chicken a pair of lips.

Maybe it’s to hold 'em in place while you… uhhh… choke 'em.

Being the grandson of chicken farmers, I can make a guess. One of the most humane ways to kill a chicken is to snap it’s neck. Just as with an ax, death is near instantaneous. This can be done bare handed (pick the chicken up by the neck and crack it like a whip) or with a myriad assortment of tools. If you look closely at the tool, you will notice that the jaws of the pliers are off-set and appear to be able to move past each other. If you put the chicken’s neck between them and squeezed hard, I’d image that the angle of the jaws would force the neck to bend sideways and then snap. It’s not a choker - it’s a neck breaker.

Mind you, this is just a guess.

  • Buck buck buck buck… BUCKEE!!!*

It also appears that the basic design has been, um, updated. Gotta love modern technology. I give you the Jarvis Semi-Auto Pneumatic Neck Breaker

If you file down the firing pin, you can make it automatic, thus getting around the controversial automatic neck breaker ban that the Republicans snuck through Congress.

Dirty sounding real component for conversion to full auto

“End of stroke switch”

This just made my list as the sickest, funniest thread of the Month.

I was all ready to offer advice that I consider inside an area of my expertise. Hrmph. Next thing you know, we’ll be discussing harlequin pugilistics. Please, just don’t title the thread ‘boxing the clown’.

In Beeblebrox’s link look at the menu on the left for the “bung ring expander”! Ouch!

Thanks, Beeble. I now have a spot for one-stop holiday shopping sure for all those hard to please folk on my list.

Oh man. I’m usually not too aware of #s, but I just HAD to get my 2500th post in a thread about choking chickens!

Want a Jarvis 2000 pneumatic monkey spanker to go with that order??

Chickens have bung rings?

beeb, you never cease to amaze me.

Me, I choke my chicken the old-fashioned way.

…not because I HAVE to, because I LIKE to…

Someone let me know when the “flogging the bishop” thread comes up, so I can recycle this post.