The matter of the proper approach to take in one’s own circumstance (which many posts have focused on) is not directly corrolated with the subject of this study (i.e. which is better for the average child). As many have noted, there may be circumstances which force people to send their children to day care. Even if one would completely accept the results of this study, and assume that on average there are advantages to children from staying home, it does not follow that parents who take the opposite route are neglecting their children. Though most people would like for their children to have the absolute best in life, circumstances can force us to compromise in this area, as in every other area of life.
Having said all that, to address this issue.
IMHO, the difference between necessities and luxuries is not absolute, but is a product of societal attitudes. Because of this, it is difficult to compare the standards of living of different societies and eras and declare the individual members of one to be luxury-seeking by the comparison. To the extent that one is keeping up with what has become accepted as the standard of the society in which he lives, he is merely keeeping up to par, not being self-indulgent.
In light of this, the phenomenon of both parents working may be a self-perpetuating one. Once this idea began to catch on for whatever reason, the average standard of living began to rise as a consequence. This had the impact of forcing many others who would not otherwise have been so inclined to do likewise, in order to keep up with the new standard.
One other comment: It goes without saying that the significance of studies such as this one is only manifested on a large scale, and only with regards to averages. No one can say that every single child is better off one way or the other. And it is difficult to know about any given child whether he would have been better or worse off had another path been taken. It is therefor important not to make too much of assertions that “my child does and the results are [Y]”.
Here’s another wrinkle. It’s not just people who “have to work to afford things” who use daycare. I know people who work who do not have to. I even have a friend who doesn’t work at all but still places her child in daycare part time. It’s not because (as Persephone noted) she likes what it does for her kid (though that’s a benefit, too)… it’s because she recognizes that she is not universally talented at all facets of parenting, all the time. She is substantially better at the enterprise when she has a break from it.
That’s true of nearly anything, why can’t it also be true of an important job like parenting?
Should she have never had kids? Is she selfish? Is she immature to not be able to devote herself to parenting 24/7 and to pour her best self into it? Should you only have kids if you’re willing to pledge that you’ll do it all yourself, all the time? I think many parents have times where they love the job, and other times where they’re just doing it as best they can with teeth gritted and an eye on the clock counting seconds until naptime or bedtime. It’s a job you can never quit, and I know few parents who WANT to. But some of them are happy --not guilty–about sharing this all-important work with another person or group of people who find working with children their special forte, and who earn pay to do it.
My friend’s arrangement allows her to cut down on the amount of time she spends with her son in teeth-gritted mode. I know many working parents who might agree with her view. They might not be entirely happy with their current balance of work/family time, but they’re not sure they’d be a fantastic parent if family time was all there was.
I know this premise galls some people, but it’s another viewpoint.
“[Belsky] is not a lead investigator,” says Sarah Friedman, a psychologist at the NICHD and one of the 13 lead investigators in the study. “I understand that he identifies himself as that, but he is misinforming people and he knows better. It’s a problem. He is not telling the whole story and is creating a panic.”
So let me get this straight- the NICHD knows that this guy is less-than-truthful in general, but they will not take action unless his research integrity is questioned? Hell of an agency they’re running!
We are such an excitable group as mothers, you can’t blame us for getting all riled up by these people and reports. Of course, we should wade through the information and get past the hype before we freak out, but that can be difficult, because our children are our top priority.
It will be interesting to see if the information in this “study” bears out.