Childish behavior in the work place, or so help me i wanna slap her!

The BBQ Pit
1

Here’s the thing, at work there is this woman that makes me furious! I am of the opinion that she is the self centeredest, self centered person living in the self centeredest part of self centered town!

An example, she and i do the same job in different departments. The data entry people send a box full of cards that we have to share. She knows that one of my pet peeves is tearing them all apart on the perferations, I like them to stay together so they don’t get out of numerical order and and become a big jumble in the box. I know, I know, its trivial, and so I haven’t said anything about it, seems like a petty thing to get upset about, but the point is she knows it irritates me so she deliberately does it to annoy me. Some of these cards we won’t be using for weeks ahead of time but she will sit there on her lunch break tearing them apart…Riiiiiipppppppp, Riiiiiippppppp, Riiiiiippppppp.

This has gone on for some time, and she didn’t get the desired reaction from me, sooooooo, her latest trick is to take these cards from our shared lunch room area, where they are stored, and bring them to her department. The entire box. When i need my documents, they are unavailable to me. When I asked her if she had seen them (knowing full well where they were), she replies, all innocent, “Oh, I forgot to bring them back”. I did a slow burn, but said nothing, and walked to her department to get them (not a short walk by any means). The following Friday, it was the same story. Unfortunately, I blew up, and told her she had better be retrieving them. I suspect she merely laughed at me, I ended up again getting them myself. This time however, about a dozen of the cards i needed were missing. My boss and i searched all the records to be sure the information was sent to data entry, everything looked in order. So, a mystery, I guess (yeah right).

The next day, upon my arrival at work, I see the cards I need all sort of laying willy nilly on the desk, with a note attached, saying “They were right by the box! BLIND???” GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I showed the note to the boss and said, “Do I have to put up with this?” His response was a forcefull “No, You don’t”. Ok, sounds good right? The little snot is going to get a talking too from the head man. I am triumphant in the fact that I am right and she is a … well, nevermind.

Today, we worked short staffed and it was a very hectic, stressful day. You know the kind of day when you are so relieved it is over and it’s time to go home, and tomorrow HAS to be better. Well, the (insert your favorite expletive here) has already left for the day. So, I proceed to gather up my things and notice that my tupperware container that i brought my sandwich in is missing. Someone had washed up all the dirty dishes and my container is nowhere in sight. After about 5 minutes of searching the lunch room area, I discover my container with the cover tossed in the trash can with the used coffee filters spilled all over it! OMG! I could have seriously slapped the little #@!!&@$!!!

It all seems so childish and petty, and I really don’t know what I have done to this woman to drive her to this sort of behavior. I think it’s harrasment, but, its all so stupid! arrrrrrggggggggg.
ok i feel better now.

2

Well, for one thing, be sure to wash your own sandwich container when you’re done with it, and put it with your own things.

The card-tearing thing is bizarre. I suppose she has her own idea that it’s more efficient to do them all at once. Not knowing anything about your office or job, is it possible to, say, offer to take custody of a set portion of the cards to do your own way, and give her the rest to do her way?

If I had been in the situation where she took the work materials that I needed and put them somewhere else, I would have just asked her to please go get them, and I would not have fetched them myself. After all, she removed them, she should bring them back.

Finally, for your own sake, try not to get too upset about these things. It’s only your job, not your family or your reason for being, right? When you go home irritated and angry, you do not hurt her, you hurt yourself. You’re getting the high blood pressure or the extra stomach acid or the headache, not her. Don’t give her free rent inside your head. Change the things you can change (by yourself or with the help of management), accept the things you can’t. If you simply can’t do either, the only other alternatives are to find another job or make yourself sick. But the chances are pretty good that there will always be somebody where you work that is a bit of a jerk. They are everywhere. There’s probably somebody out there who thinks we’re jerks, too.

3

Geez. Reminds me of elementary school. Are you worth more to the company than her? Schedule a meeting with someone higher up, and address each one of these. Nothing like having someone’s childish behaviour directly questioned. Ask her WTF she thinks she’s doing, then wait. I guess I’d do what MLS says first, but I’ve tried the ignore-it-and-they-get-tired bit, but if it doesn’t work after a week, it’s just not gonna.

4

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole “card” thing. I don’t think I can fully understand the situation until this is clarified a bit because I don’t really understand what she’s doing

Can you explain?

5

I’m with Iezlers. Is there a process? Or is it up to each of you to do your work as you see fit?

As devil’s advocate, I have to wonder why the cards are perpetrated. Also wondering if you actually told her, or had someone else tell her, that one of your pet peeves is tearing the cards all apart on the perforations. (Sorry I am bogged down in the process question. If there are perforations, they must be torn! But when? As far as I can tell, if I had to sub for you, I’d do the job one way, but if I were subbing for her, the process would change. This freaks me out.)

As a manger, let me advise you that anyone who would include the phrase “Someone had washed up all the dirty dishes” in a complaint is going to have a hard time finding a sympathetic ear.

(Okay, hit me for asking about process. I love process. I won’t lift a finger without a process doc.)

6

well first, the dishes thing, normally its a few coffee cups and we each take care of our own. so cleaning up and putting away of someone elses items is a rare thing. i am taking MLS’s on that score.

the card thing is a bit difficult to explain, the cards in question are about 6" x 9" and they come off the computer connected with perforations. we take the different cards and each one goes into a different patient file. each week we need to get the cards prepared on Friday (can’t do it ahead of time because i don’t know which are mine and which are hers, well i could guess). She is well aware that tearing them apart annoys me as we had discussed it ages ago. thing is it doesn’t hurt anything to tear them apart ahead of time, its just one of the things that bugs me, and like i said its petty so i can overlook it, just when i was stressed last night it annoyed me more. It’s not something i would take to management.
the thing with this woman is that when interns come in they soon discover that they don’t want to train with her, and she has a reputation within the company about being difficult to get along with.

i guess some people aren’t happy unless they can create strife.

7

insert “advice” lol

8

Hmm. I still don’t get it.

How is your work divided? Alphabetically? Numerically? You said that you work in different departments. I take it the files are printed out in an order other than by department?

From what you’re saying, she just has a different method than you do. For all you know, she could be just as annoyed with you as you are with her for not tearing them.

I’m guessing you work in a hospital or clinic or something like that. Can you give a little background here? It’s hard to paint a big picture with tiny snippets here and there.

9

well, i am a bit hesitant to reveal too much information here as i prefer to protect my privacy, its a specialized company and i live in a rural area.

as far as if i am annoying her as much as she is annoying me, well, could be. that’s why i haven’t made an issue of the tearing apart.

mostly i just wanted to get my frustrations out in a safe forum, without creating a lot of havoc in the work place, this seemed to have helped.

10

Bosses on your side are nice. But she doesn’t report to him. Going against all your instincts, please pick up your phone to the company operator and askj who handles HR. Get the name & number. Excuse yourself to the bathroom. Then don’t walk…RUUUUNNNN to HR and document All of this. Ask for the HR person’s email so its easier to bring her up to speed on this nonsense. Start keeping a file on your correspondences and let your boss know, as a courtesy, that you’ve filed a harrassment report with HR. (Be Nice…play to his ego…tell him it has to be done by the numbers, but that you hope he’ll support you in this matter yada-yada)

And, what ever you do, Please Do Not Retaliate.

11

Sorry, I didn’t realize Minnesota was such a small, rural area. :wink:

I was more hoping for a general description, not a detailed, blow by blow of what your company does. More like, what you do.

12

i like bacon, are you a Young American?

(You don’t need to answer that! :smiley: )

Nor would you want to.

13

Be aware if you go to your HR department that there is a chance that your problem will not be kept confidential and she may be told exactly what you said and who said it. My experience with HR departments is not to trust them.

Before I get every HR professional on the Dope on my case, I’m sure there are very professional HR departments that would never do this. My experience has been different, and I just wanted to bring this possibility to i like bacon’s attention. Figure out how much you’re willing to risk before you go to supervisors/HR people.

14

Is it possible that different countries have different business practices and business traditions? The US is big on HR having zero tolerance for Harrassment, Sexual Harrassment, or Violence In The Workplace. (Note: these are HR buss words, but admittedly my caps)

Bit I remember speaking to a young professional woman in northern Ireland last year whose cow-orker was squeezing her butt cheeks when she walked by and she said that the policies and protections were virtually non-existant for her there. If I’m wrong in assuming the poster is in the US, then I apologise.