Can’t tell if this one is good of full of waffles. It certainly only clumsily precedes the traditional conclusion: “…in bed!”
Not sure what to make of it. Generally when a mouse looks upon a cat, the only escape route available to it is through the south end of the northbound cat. Or maybe it’s warning me that I’m a mouse and if I go messing with a cat I’d better have a plan. But it’s worded all wrong to clearly mean that. This fortune sucks. And the cookie was stale.
No idea, but I seriously love the phrase “full of waffles” to indicate that something’s pants.
That something’s pants are what ? 
I have one in my wallet that is perhaps the best instance of the additional two words: “Do not hesitate to look for help. An extra hand should always be welcomed.”
I saw an orphaned fortune cookie in the break room the other day, and now I have fetched it here just so I can partipate in this thread… crack “The heart has its reasons, which the reason does not know.”
Well alrighty then.
I like the rude fortunes:
You are a fool! Everything you attempt will fail.
The ugly stupid child is the only one that is actually yours.
I have to know - which chinese restaurant gives you these and if they’ll deliver where I live.
My favorite was
“A man without aim is like a clock without hands, as useless as it turns as if it stands.”
Hard to read anything into that fortune other than that I’m a man with no aim and I’m as useless as a clock with no hands.
It means stop peeing all over the toilet seat and floor all hours of the night. 
“You have just eaten cat.”
“Insert has protective coating” - Well, thats always good advice for a young man.
turns paper over - something about lemons and lemonaide.
I’ll take the first one I think.
You could buy them Here, for instance:
http://tealco.net/funny_fortune_cookies.html
Years ago some company sold “Dirty Fortune Cookies” by mail order. I’m sure if you look around you can find lots of places that do this.
Or you can insert your own fortune into an existing cookie:
I kept one in my wallet for a few years before losing it: “You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.”
Quite liked that one. 
First heard of it on a late night UHF stand up comedy show.
Then, I was a chinese place in Houston, near the galleria, and one fortune per table would be the joke rude fortunes. Mid 1980s.
Holy crap! I had the same one and did the same thing. I had it for years in my wallet and have no idea when I lost it.
At least we know we are not the lone noodle
Nope, that’s Johnny Depp.
Does it mean that with no escape route nearby the mouse will not look at the cat? How very shrewd of that mouse.
Yeah, my take on it is basically that you won’t catch the powerless taking a stand against a gargantuan danger unless they are pretty sure they’re doing it from a position of safety.
Please americans helpings to us. All work fortune paper factory sick of ramens