Choose your one super power

I dream of having this super power.

Whenever I use a roll of scotch tape my fingernail instantly finds the end of the roll. Also works on those joke food packs where a colored corner tab says “Open here” but there is no fucking actual opening flap there and you end up opening it with a knife.

The same super sensitivity allows me to smoothly pick up really small coins off any flat surface without having to scrabble around like a lunatic.

I’ve thought about that, but what would existence be like after the heat death of the universe? Floating around in a void for billions of years until hopefully another Big Bang?

Non-corporealness. Like Kitty Pryde and the Vision: the ability to make your body, and things you touch, insubstantial. Walk through walls, never be touched.

I’d probably mostly use it to get free stuff out of vending machines. They’ve taken so much from me over the years, they owe me.

A very limited precognition. I just want to know the Lotto numbers for one medium sized jackpot and then I’m good.

Prehensile Colon might come in handy in a pinch.

Regallag has a very interesting idea there.

My daydream is rather more bloodthirsty. Remember the movie Scanners? :smiley:

Probably intangibility along the lines of Phantom Girl or the Vision. It would be nice to be able to say “I’m just gonna walk through that wall, and you can’t lay a hand on me.”

See my post above. The best kind of immortality is something I’ve spent time thinking about.

Telekinesis - I’d love to be able to move stuff just by willing it to move.

You’d better off just knowing the value that will come up. If you always roll 7, people will assume you are cheating. Assuming you want to play craps, knowing your roll lets you move your bets around for max benefit, but you’ll still eventually crap out and that will keep most of the heat off of you.

If I could have any superpower, I’d want to instinctively always know the right action to take to achieve the best possible outcome. (Definition of best: best for myself presuming I have empathy and don’t want other people hurt either, presuming it’s not too problematic to me to stop it.) Just cruise through life, slipping through crowds, dodging accidents, staying in shape, winning lotteries, saying just the right things to just the right woman…
But presuming there are limits to this and I can’t make myself a virtual god, then instead I’ll take telekinesis. Car-juggling-level telekinesis. I’ll never open a door by hand again. God, that would be so awesome…

What you describe goes against every rule of every MMORPG.

A Superpower would have limits:

You can harm 10 common people or 3 people each of whom is known to no more then 10,000 people or one person known to no more then 100,000 people.

In every game, magic powers are very limited. In Runescape, magic inflicts about as much damage as a direct attack or ranged attack. I am a ranger level 106 and a mage level 109.

You’ve got to kick that last number up by a couple of magnitudes - if I’m going to have that power, sure as shit (I crack myself up!) it needs to apply to Trump and any other person of similar note.

I could say I want something cool and flashy like flight or super-healing or something, but the two powers I find myself thinking “Darn, if only I could ___ right now” the most are telepathy and telekinesis. Either one would be fine.

I’ll go for immortality but it would have to include the ability to arrest, reverse, or accelerate the aging process. Also an escape clause in case I get super bored or the world blows up.

I’d go for invisibility. But the OP’s choice is baffling to me. You can have super strength, invulnerability, flight, invisibility, or precognition, all of which have obvious and awesome uses. But instead you’ll take the ability to play a juvenile prank on people? Besides, “Diarrhea Man” is a terrible name.

I just wanna fly. I could parlay that into enough money to be set and give tons to charities of my choice.

the government would catch you and you’d be on your way to the secret lab, for sure.

Snap my fingers and have any lady immediately pleasure me orally.