I’m just seeing much more sensitivity and uncalled-for physical responses or brashness in every quarter, where in the past most people would walk away from a perceived slight, brush it off or discuss it to diffuse any escalation. Venue matter, of course. Bars and nightclubs are places you expect more irrational behavior and dustups but not in otherwise civilised environments. Diplomacy is not completely dead but it has had better days.
I guess I see different things. There are quarters of life where things do seem a bit brasher (like on the highways) but, to my experience, overall, it’s a more sensitive place than when I was growing up in the 80s. I do feel being cooped up with COVID has gotten some people on edge. I don’t doubt your experience – mine is just different. Like for all the bad things going on in our lives and the world, in most ways I’m glad my kids are growing up now rather than when I did. Tolerance and acceptance is taught in schools the way it wasn’t when I was a kid. The part of the future I don’t like concerns things like climate change.
At the start, you said that there’s “a level of mental illness that has to be present for someone of Will Smith’s stature to react as he did.” And, here, you’re framing things in terms of irrationality.
I guess my question to you is: is it possible that this isn’t a matter of irrationality, or a matter of mental illness, but just of, y’know, things pretty much going the way he expected, or at least of things having reasonable odds of going the way he expected?
Imagine for a moment that he thought to himself, you know, smacking that guy in the head might get me arrested, or removed from this ceremony; but I don’t think it will. And he might hit back, or press charges; but I don’t think he will. And the public might side with him against me; but I don’t think they will. And so on for things turning out worse instead of better; but I don’t think they will. If he winds up being correct — or, again, if there are good odds of things working out along those lines — then, sure, say all sorts of other things about his behavior; but would you necessarily characterize it in terms of mental illness or irrationality?
I don’t think there’s any need to debate that many people working in the film industry are narcissistic. Many narcissists are typically obnoxious, thin-skinned and needy. (I’m not saying all actors are narcissists. Some of them seem quite level-headed and congenial) But then you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which involves aggression and violence. It’s possible he suffers from a form of NPD. I cannot be sure what Will Smith is suffering from, but it’s not normal in my experience or from observing people I would consider rational to go from laughing at a joke about your wife’s hair style to suddenly storming the stage in rage. So do I think based on what I observed that Will Smith is showing extreme stress? Yes. Is it severe mental illness as opposed to just an off-day? I think so. But I’m also interested in why calling out his mental illness is such an issue. Have we normailised mental illness to the point that we no longer call it mental illness? By the way, Will Smith has shown this side of himself before over the years. So there is much more going on than just one irrational act.
People are assholes online, but in real life, there are certainly far fewer physical altercations now than there used to be. Fights between adult men used to be WAY more common.
Road Rage and Altercations
Not surprisingly, given the level of stress most people in the state are under, incidents involving road rage and personal confrontations are on the rise since the onset of the pandemic. Reports of drivers screaming at one another on the road and also of pedestrians getting into altercations on the street have been plentiful. While, now more than ever, we should be respecting the rights and safety of those around us, maintaining social distance, and wearing masks, many are not taking these appropriate steps. Disagreements regarding these kinds of failures have led to acrimony, and in many instances, assaults.
I’d put it somewhat differently. If someone commits armed robbery, I don’t default to sizing that up in terms of severe mental illness. If I’m reading a novel where a character gets away with murder, I won’t shake my head sadly and say, “dangit, I wasn’t in the mood to read about mental illness.” If you tell me Guy A forcibly removed Guy B from an awards ceremony, I wouldn’t expect you to follow up by talking about how Guy A must be mentally ill…
…which, of course, brings us to the Guy B who wasn’t forcibly removed from a ceremony. But first let me step back a moment to that other other example: if someone figures they can get away with murder for revenge or for the insurance money or whatever, and then does so, I have no desire to call that mental illness. If someone commits murder due to a delusion that they’re killing a dragon in disguise, sure, that’s mental illness — but if they’re sizing up the situation as it really is, and the consequences then play out as they expect?
Imagine, like I’d said, a scenario where Will Smith figures he won’t get arrested: where Chris Rock will neither hit back nor press charges, and where Smith then remains at the ceremony instead of being escorted out, so he can then be presented with an award while people applaud. (Imagine, too, that Chris Rock decides to make that joke while figuring that he won’t then get hit in the face — and that, even as Smith then strides right up to him, Rock still thinks he’s not about to get hit in the face.)
Sure, you can call Smith’s behavior there reprehensible, you can say it’s a crime — I guess you could even call it a sin, if you’re into that sort of thing. But what’s gained and what’s lost by chalking it up to severe mental illness?
Perhaps I shouln’t have used the term “severe” but I think his actions certainly differ from a planned robbery in which assault is par for the course or an action whereby a reasonable person might say “He had it coming”. Will Smith’s action seemed to me to be a hair trigger reaction that a fairly well adjusted person could have weathered/shrugged off. It’s all speculatiuon of course as to what his mental state was, but what he did seems to fit a pattern. It’s a matter of debate whether it’s a symptom of a wider inflection point in our society.
FWIW:
[/quote]
Bald jokes were a staple of The Dick Van Dyke Show.
[/quote]
I’d wager none of the Dick van Dyke bald jokes were related to anyones disability such as cancer. They’d then be quite despicable even back then.
Alopecia isn’t cancer and it’s a stretch to consider it a disability. A fairer comparison would be to something like psoriasis, fairly mild psoriasis in her case.
I’d agree it’s a bad taste joke, but I’d also say it’s a fairly tame one. It’s about a quarter as harsh as it would need to be for me to understand wills reaction.
I dunno…
Rock made note of Jada’s bald head by comparing her to another woman with a bald head who most consider beautiful and sexy.
Not seeing the fuss. Especially since Jada’s bald head was on display, in public, for all to see and her alopecia was not as secret (far from it, she has spoken about it to the press). And, frankly, she is a physically attractive woman, bald head and all. GI Jane is sexy. So is Jada (physically).
So, what was she upset about? And more, what was Will upset about?
Wouldn’t it be technically correct to say that half of the men in that audience likely also “suffer” from alopecia?
What about those WWII movies where the sadistic Japanese officer says “hahaha, a display of your irreverent American sense of humor?” That was so common that you start to think that’s what the war was all about. That’s something we need to keep defending
(OTOH, slugging the French officer for kissing us after hanging the Croix de Guerre around our neck belongs to a less-enlightened time)
Oh yeah. I forgot that male pattern baldness is technically a type of alopecia.
But yeah, even the “random chunks” form of alopecia is quite common.
Correct, Alopecia Areata (AA) is not so rare. About one in fifty will have AA at some point in their lifetime. It is in fact a not very uncommon diagnosis even in children, point prevalence about one in a thousand, with many resolving within a year (although relapses may occur). About one in twenty with AA will progress to complete scalp baldness (totalis).
In case you were not aware kids can sometimes be mean to each other. A child with AA or even totalis who hits a child who teases them however is not excused because the mean other child has it coming, and I’ve not gotten feedback of a single one of my patients having hit someone over comments about their bald patches … including the child with totalis. Who is btw not disabled by virtue of her baldness. She could wear a wig an elects not to.
Kids are usually mature enough to know better than to respond with violence even when the comments are mean spirited.
I see what you did there.
From what I gather from the continued gossip about his life, Will Smith is in a horrible marriage, insofar as his wife has said publicly that she was forced into getting married by her mom because she was pregnant with her son Jaden, she has been described as being miserable on her wedding day, she apparently doesn’t believe in marriage, and insists on having relationships on the side.
He is also the child of a father who hit his mother in front of him.
While I’m not qualified to diagnose any of this, it strikes me that he’s holding on to matrimony out of some misguided loyalty, and is battling some serious internal demons.
I mean, just seeing her displeasure with laughter at her expense triggered something hardwired inside him.
Not that this excuses him, but I think you are right on. His wife has some serious power problems that she takes out on him. I read she openly talked on her podcast about how the sex in her marriage wasn’t that great. As far as I read, she is the one in the open marriage, not Will. Add to that her filming him while he asks her not to use his celebrity for her gain, but she posts it anyways while laughing at him. That’s not any kind of marriage I would wish on anybody. And if they are really scientologists, I imagine Smith’s rehab will mostly consist of him parting with loads of cash.
He needs to apologize to Rock one on one, not from a tweet put out by his PR team. Jada could step up and take a little responsibility too, instead of tweeting about peace and then hanging out wit other celebs at fashion shows.