Post your Christmas cracker mottos here.
These are ours:
What do monsters have for breakfast?
Dreaded wheat.
Which bird always succeeds?
A budgie with no teeth.
Why did Micky Mouse take a trip to outer space?
He wanted to find Pluto.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
Umm, I don’t know how to tell you this but these are not mottos.
These are jokes.
Actually I’ve always wanted a Christmas cracker but I’ve never had one.
I don’t get the budgie one.
What bird always sucks seeds?
Neither did the budgie. 
Thanks.
While you’re here, what is the Mason-nixon?
Okay, maybe someone here can help with a question.
In the US we don’t generally do crackers, but Paidhi Girl saw some on Teletubbies years ago and has been asking and asking, and I saw some at the store and bought a box. Much fun was had by all. But we seriously didn’t get one of the riddles.
Why don’t elephants like penguins?
and the answer was something like
They can’t get the wrappers off.
What the heck??? I don’t get it, and there was much puzzlement around the table.
Others we did get–
What did the traffic light say to the zebra crossing?
Don’t look now, I’m changing.
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I’m dressing!
What happened to the man who didn’t know the difference between putty and toothpaste?
All his windows fell out.
What did the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we’ll go places.
What is grey and has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday.
Where do little fish go each morning?
To plaice school.
I had to explain about plaice.
Someone please explain the elephant and penguins one to me!
Sounds like a British joke. Penguins over here are individually wrapped chocolate biscuits.
I guess Elephants could be replaced with pretty much any animal and the joke would still work.
I remember one from about 20 years ago… (why, I couldn’t tell you)
Where does a tadpole go when it turns into a frog?
To the retailer
A few favo(u)rites:
What do you get if you eat Christmas tree decorations?
Tinselitis.
What crustacean lives in North London?
King’s Crustacean
What has a bottom at the top?
A leg!
what is green and sits in the corner?
a naughty frog.