I swear to God, if one more person sends me a fucking forwarded bunch of rancid dogshit about either the Magic of Christmas, or motherhood, or children, or fluffy pink bunnies, or some other saccharine wad of sputum, I’m taking everyone off my contact list, and they’re all going directly to the trash pile, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. Why, oh why, do people think I want, need, or enjoy any of this chunky vomit? Is it the season? Do I look like I have a great need in my life for an inspirational message written by some retarded, illiterate fuckwit with the intellectual and theological thought processes of a sheep with scrapie? Furthermore, these frothing idiots don’t even have the capacity to be original in their rampant stupidity, they use other people’s crumpled up, shitstained musings. Hell, if you’re going to forward anything to me, at least make it mildly interesting, preferably written in decipherable English, and maybe even pornographic. Even then, not more than once a year, please.
That is all, thank you.
(Please don’t mention automatically hitting the delete button, yes I know how to use it, however Hope Springs Eternal and all that.)
But… the little animated Christmas candle was lit way back in 1998!! You’re not going to let it die, are you?
My friend that does this is a kindergarten teacher who has only recently been forced online, and she has just begun to use email at work. I can tell when her planning period is, because that’s when the glurge comes spewing at me.
I’m one who just tolerates Christmas, and doesn’t “celebrate” it (someone asked me if I celebrate Christmas recently. I told them I tolerated it, but still oohed and aahed over the pics they’d found on the 'Net to do with candied Santas and such. A lot of folk like Christmas. I respect that.)
Anyway – I’ve had a few such glurgey emails, and I just smile, thank the friend politely, wish them all the best for the season and move on. I’m bloody surrounded by all the Christmassy stuff everywhere I go right now – I’m just not lettin’ it get me down all that much.
And those who know me well know it’s best to go more secular at this time with their best wishes than religious and huggy, anyway.
