On the radio station I listen to on the way to work, the newest push for a great Christmas gift is a gift certificate for - permanent hair removal!
I can envision the joy on the wife’s face when she opens that, and wipes a tear off her mustache…
Seen or heard any ads for Christmas gifts that would not bring joy to family or friends?
Ummm, actually, my daughter specifically asks for this as a gift. I started getting a few longer, darker facial hairs when I turned 50 or so. That’s pretty normal for women of my age. So, I had them removed, and while I was there, I had some eyebrow stragglers removed, too. I had been spending a lot of time with tweezers and a mirror, and now I only have to check my face a couple of times a week.
Anyway, my daughter is a quarter Sicilian and a quarter Cajun heritage…and she inherited her paternal grandmother’s moustache. So I took her to the electrologist’s on one of her visits, and she loves not having to wax her face every week. And every time she comes home to visit, she goes and gets some touchup work done. She specifically asks for this as her Xmas gift. I think that this time, after she gets her face worked on, she’s gonna get her armpits started. She loves to wear sleeveless garments, but she has dark hair and pale skin, and so even when she’s freshly shaven, she’ll have a shadow. She has to wax if she doesn’t want that shadow…and waxing will leave redness and swelling for a while, so she has to time the waxing just right.
Don’t knock it. My daughter spends a lot of time and effort to keep her face and legs and underarms hair-free, and waxing is painful. Electrolysis is not really that painful, and it’s PERMANENT.
Laser hair removal, by the way, isn’t generally regarded as permanent.
Me? I’d love a gift certificate for a specific kind of medical massage (lymphatic drainage). It’s very good for my health, and it feels wonderful.
Isn’t it obvious that the OP is referring to giving this to people who haven’t expressed a desire for one? But thanks for sharing your facial hair removal routines with us, and your daughter’s – and so in-depth!
I have the dark hair/light skin combo, too, and I tell you, I’d be mighty pissed if I found one of those under my tree. 
But then, I am a grown-up girl and can just go buy one myself.
I don’t listen to ads much but if I think of any I’ll come back. I do want to hear more, though.
Health clubs are pushing gift certificates this time of year.
I always thought that’s a bit of a mine field. I imagine the clubs love them though because a lot will go unused.
Locally, there’s a sporting clays place that advertises that it’s a great place to have corporate team building exercises.
Personally, I feel that if your co-workers need to work on getting along, sending them out to a place that provides them with loaded guns might not be your best option for team building.
Great for “restructuring,” though.
Seriously. Just give me one chance at a particular grinning jackal. See also: hunting trip, darts tournament, trust fall (oops!), ropes course, field trip to the alligator farm…
There’s a reason we have Staff Ed Day here onsite, I think.
A magazine I read had a two-page “Holiday Gift Guide” advertisement sometime last month. One of their suggested gift items was a can of Sierra Mist soda pop.
Really? I mean, I get that the “gift guide” is a clearly-labeled advertisement and they’re just trying to shill their own products, but you couldn’t think a little bigger? At least, say, a 24-pack of Sierra Mist? No, they decided to go with the single can. What says “I totally value your friendship and did not just decide to buy you something when I was standing in the gas station checkout line on the way over here today” like a can of Sierra Mist?
A single Rough Rider condom?
Indeed. Not to mention that, taking the example in the OP, most women would be rather reluctant to share the news of their beloved husband’s Christmas gift to them. “What did Bob buy you for your first Christmas as a married couple, a diamond tennis bracelet?” “No…” “A fur coat? A Louis Vuitton bag?” “…A gift certificate for multiple laser hair removal treatments.” “…”
I thought of this thread when I viewed today’s list on Cracked,, item 3 particularly (but #1 is fucked up so far out that it doubles back on itself and restores my faith in humanity)
Nah, a lighter with my astrological sign on it. It’s personalized!
I swear I’ve seen Disturbing Ad #3 displayed years ago in a “Bad Holiday Ads” bit David Letterman did on his show.
As for Disturbing Ad #1, I had no idea people (or at least ad men) in the 40s had such a flippant and light-hearted view about snuffing yourself out in a bloody manner. And the ad was for Arrow Shirts–one of the more stolid and established products on the market.
I’m amazed Disturbing Ad #10 could’ve been published in 1956. My only guess is that it was supposed to run in Playboy’s Christmas issue that year and/or everybody at the ad agency responsible for it was too blasted on highballs to notice there was anything wrong with it.
Maybe it did run in Playboy. They don’t say.
What I find amusing is that they felt they had to pixellate the image, and then in the comments for the very next ad, there’s this:
Even with nipples, Playboy wouldn’t have printed that in 1956.
I always wondered how a man would feel receiving one of those “personal trimmers” that are always advertised around Father’s Day.
Actually, I gave one of my brothers one of those for Xmas one year. It followed an incident in which he decided his nose hair needed trimming, so he used a butane lighter to do it.
EWWW. Boys are gross!
That’s one of those human interaction things that’s like taking a breath mint when offered. The appropriate reaction is, I believe, gratitude. 
Oh, I personalize all the condoms I give as gifts.
Needlepoint is a dying art, but not for my lack of trying!
Screenprinting works faster.