Every year it’s the same thing. There’s always at least one present that doesn’t fit, that you already have, or that you just don’t like (but you were too polite to say anything, right?).
Here’s your chance to ditch those unwanted items and keep a clear conscience! Tell us what you got, and why you don’t want it. We can give you an absolutely worthless store credit for a return, or you can trade your unwanted gift for someone else’s. Any items that no one swaps for will be sent to the Island Of Misfit Toys.
I got a forest green sweater that’s too big (XL), and it’s got polyester in it, so I don’t want it. I’m betting it’s headed for that island.
I also got a big tin of chocolates with macademia nuts in them. I don’t like nuts, and since they’re chopped up I can’t even nibble around them for the chocolate.
I got two copies of Metallica’s RELOAD album, because I’d put LOAD on my Christmas list, and both my parents had looked for it. They couldn’t find LOAD, only RE, but both bought a copy of RE, assuming I’d simply written it incorrectly. I already had a copy of RE, so now I have a grand total of three copies.
I got the Huskie sweats I wanted, but they are too big. And with them, a Huskie tank top which is too small (which is good, cause I would never ever wear it.).
Well, this neon orange Old Navy Performance Fleece[sup]TM[/sup] vest will have to go. I suspect it’s intended as a joke, but how do I go about broaching the subject?
“Ha! Ah Liz, you sure had me going! Buying me that ugly orange synthetic sheath thing! You joker you!”
“What!? You mean you… you don’t like it!? Wahhahahah!!”
“Er… I mean NO! Don’t cry. I LOVE it!! Why, that snazzy retna-burning neon orange, it just goes with everything I own.”
One black beret. Even if I wore hats (I don’t), I would avoid PRETENTIOUS hats like the plague.
And one half-slip, when all the skirts I own are either too short for half-slips, or too hippie-ish for any underwear at all. (Was that my out-loud voice? Pretend you didn’t hear it.)
Hey Fretful, I’ve got a new batik skirt that was supposed to be a gift for someone. I’d be happy to just give it to you, if, you know, you could sorta try it on for me. I won’t peek cough, I promise!!!
**Inky-*, since you’ve already got the vest, those people that flag traffic for construction projects make some pretty good pay. Or save it for a Halloween party and go as a pylon.
Actually, it was intended as a joke. Apparently I was the only person unaware that this ugly thing was given to Liz as a gag present from her sister last year. Now I have to palm the horrible thing off on a deserving soul next year.
Not me, but daughter number 2 got THREE copies of the soundtrack from Charlies Angels and TWO copies of Mariah Carey’s Butterfly. This was AFTER I told the people that bought the duplicates what I had already got.
Apparently, the only thing my friends know about me is that I like David Bowie. So once, again, I have recieved a copy of Earthling. This copy makes it the SIXTH time I have gotten it as a gift (twice, I’m pretty sure, from the same person). I also got two copies of Hours (three, including the one I already have).
I got a shirt that I really like but is too small.
I got some pants that I’d NEVER wear (Grandma’s good at finding stuff I’d never wear) that are going back.
I got some pajamas that are going back. I don’t wear pajamas.
Grandma plays a game where she buys random stuff and I try to figure out where she bought it so I can return it. I don’t think she realises it’s a game we play. Maybe I’m the only one playing here?
